Groovy Posted February 18, 2006 Posted February 18, 2006 Some know I have needed to break it off with the guy I’m seeing, “T”. Last night I went to the park with my dog and him there with his. T hardly said hello the first 30 minutes he was there. So I talked to some guy on the bench who is always very friendly, he was the only one sitting. I had been on my feet at Habitat for Humanity for 8 hours and just wanted to sit. I told T this and he never sat with me. He went to the opposite end of the park with no benches. The guy asked me out and I said I was with someone. T sat down for conversation after 30 minutes plus and the park had cleared out. I was the only one left, a last resort. I told him it upset me that he constantly acted like a stranger on the street there but we were involved. Unless he’s been with someone a long time he doesn't want others to know. This is bogus, be an adult and not like a kid in jr high. Get over what other people think and be yourself. No one likes to be dating and not be shown off. Don’t eat me out and act distant at your convenience. The place gossips but I don't care what they say- they are not important in our lives. To act distant for their sake is sheer stupidity and child’s play. I mentioned he had ignored me all night until the park cleared out and no one was left. T said “I had PMS, sorry if I can't swoon you and grope you in public, attend to your every needs, etc." This is what I get for communicating feelings in a sensitive way. All I wanted was conversation, not a royal f_ck at the park for display. He said he “couldn't give me what I needed and said it's been good to know you”. I agreed, got up and walked out. I’ve been waiting for an exit anyway and he gave it. He caught up with me and hugged "let's not give up because of the dog park". It's bad communication and disrespect- not the dog park itself. He was angry about the guy who asked me out. It’s not like I punched numbers in my cell phone. I said “No, I’m with someone”. I told T if he is not sure about me then why are we cutting ourselves off from other people. That I shared my feelings and he can’t be responsible with them. I apologized thought little wrong was done and he has the nerve to be bitter over the guy who I was talking to. He misconstrued my words and stomped all over my feelings. And to think some day I may really need my partner there knowing it won’t be him why date? He called me at home to bother me more. He got drunk- which is something he likes to do for everything. He wants to go out as friends but that’s a waste of my time. This post is long so I won’t even list all my other issues I have with him. I know I need to break up, I kind of did but it's need to be in stone because he just didn't get it. I need to do it when I am calm. I just need to vent!
Walk Posted February 18, 2006 Posted February 18, 2006 Vent away! I don't think you asked for suggestions/advice... just wanted to say I read your post and agree with your decision.
BeFree Posted February 18, 2006 Posted February 18, 2006 Groovy, you are giving me flash backs. I lived in LA years ago and always went to the same dog park. I dated a guy there who was so similar. It's as if there is some unspoken law that you can meet a guy at the dog park, but know one must know your dating. LAME! Not to mention they are so gossipEE. I hate that. They all know eachothers business and pay too close attention to who is dating who. Once I moved, I stopped going to dog parks. If I do, I never get social with anyone. Left a really bad taste in my mouth. The dog I had when I lived in LA passed away in Nov. My new dog is training to be a champion agility dog and plays frisbee. I miss the friends I made at that old dog park, but not the drama! Girl I feel your pain!
Author Groovy Posted February 18, 2006 Author Posted February 18, 2006 They can say I smoke crack and I prostitute myself for drugs. That I am going on the Mauri Povich show for a DNA test because I'm pregnant and don't know who the daddy is. Hell, if your gonna talk make it really good please! I don't know you, your opinion doesn't matter to me. This is me and take it how you want. Let's not live behind a curtain for people on the sidelines of our life, it's a weak way to live. I do wonder if anyone else here has dated and hide it. I just don't think I can be happy with that person, regardless of why they are doing it,just to be private or whatever. I think the only exception would be a no dating policy at work. But to avoid gossip! Rrrr.... Doesn't help he took it so far as to mean grope me and swoon over me in public. I can't stand men right now.
brightskies Posted February 22, 2006 Posted February 22, 2006 I told him it upset me that he constantly acted like a stranger on the street there but we were involved. Unless he’s been with someone a long time he doesn't want others to know. This is bogus, be an adult and not like a kid in jr high. Get over what other people think and be yourself. No one likes to be dating and not be shown off. Don’t eat me out and act distant at your convenience. The place gossips but I don't care what they say- they are not important in our lives. To act distant for their sake is sheer stupidity and child’s play. Did you end up breaking it off? It isn't cool when your SO "hides" you. Even at the freakin' dog park. Geez. Bad, bad sign.
Author Groovy Posted February 23, 2006 Author Posted February 23, 2006 Not sure but I think we are off. I need to talk to him and tell him how I feel now that I am calm a few days later. He has done too many things too early that have been dissapointing. If he's receptive I may consider a second chance with extreme caution and maybe not exclusively. If he's not receptive than I need to not even be his friend, just not into toxic relationships. Unfortunately I will see him again due to our social circle and hang out spots. So I'd like to be mature and on good terms but that requires his input!
amerikajin Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 Groovy, Why are you in a relationship? Ask yourself this question until you come up with the truth. And while I'm at it, I have to say it seems like he's got a few issues of his own too, so I'm not sure this is really a good foundation to build upon.
Delectable Posted February 23, 2006 Posted February 23, 2006 ask the 'bench talker dude' out if you dig em
Author Groovy Posted February 23, 2006 Author Posted February 23, 2006 Groovy, Why are you in a relationship? Ask yourself this question until you come up with the truth. And while I'm at it, I have to say it seems like he's got a few issues of his own too, so I'm not sure this is really a good foundation to build upon. He's not a good foundation to build on and I'm 99% sure I am not in a relationship. We haven't spoken in 4 days. He called but I needed some time to myself. I just don't want to post it's over until we talk about it being over. I dated other people before him and it wasn't so turbulent. On top of this I am pretty sure he is an alcoholic who is a bit self centered, so how healthy can my relationship be? I'd like to date others for good food, good conversation, meeting interesting people:) I think I'm OK to date but not a big commitment right now.
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