Bellona Posted February 18, 2006 Posted February 18, 2006 My bf has taken on a lot these past few months: new property and pressure to sell his place with a backdrop of a difficult university course. I had bought him a small mp3 player and loaded his favorite songs onto it for V Day. I wanted to do something nice for him to show that I care. When V Day rolled around, we just went to dinner to a fave spot of his where he took me on our first dinner date. I didn't get a gift--not even a card. I had second thoughts about giving him my gift, but he said he had a gift for me, too, and we were supposed to exchange gifts last night (we had to celebrate late). Well, this morning rolled around and we hadn't exchanged gifts. He will be out of town this entire weekend with some of his buddies -- planned a while back -- so I wanted to give him the gift to take along. He was adamant about waiting until Monday to exchange gifts -- leading me to believe that he was only stalling. I gave him my gift, and he was very appreciate and it was fun to see him light up like a little kid. However, I feel very hurt that my V Day wasn't as special. If I get to speak with him this weekend, should I mention my feelings or wait until Monday? Am I just lost in the shuffle of his responsibilities, or should I demand more?
agnf666 Posted February 18, 2006 Posted February 18, 2006 I understand that you are upset that your valentines day didn't go as you planned. Sometimes men do not see the importance of this holiday... Too some people... Including me I don't see it as important at all.... I just think that maybe he has been really stressed out because he has alot on his plate right now... In which case he could have totally forgot about Valentines day.... Sometimes it isn't hard to forget about things when you are crazy busy... I would give him this weekend and see what he does... Then if he doesn't give you anything for V-Day then say something to him. Tell him "Hey, what about my V-Day present?" How often do the two of you hang out together??? How long have you been together??
Author Bellona Posted February 18, 2006 Author Posted February 18, 2006 I understand that you are upset that your valentines day didn't go as you planned. Sometimes men do not see the importance of this holiday... Too some people... Including me I don't see it as important at all.... I just think that maybe he has been really stressed out because he has alot on his plate right now... In which case he could have totally forgot about Valentines day.... Sometimes it isn't hard to forget about things when you are crazy busy... I would give him this weekend and see what he does... Then if he doesn't give you anything for V-Day then say something to him. Tell him "Hey, what about my V-Day present?" How often do the two of you hang out together??? How long have you been together?? He travels for business a few days a month--sometimes spending an extra day or two down in FL to see his best friend who moved down there with his wife. We get together at least three times a week, and talk on the phone every night. We have been dating since November. I'm not as upset as I was yesterday, but probably because I refuse to think about it anymore. I'm gonna have a good weekend here and go out for drinks and have a good time regardless so I don't have time to sit and ponder. I just feel a bit miffed: amidst all the time he spent filling out forms, getting ready for his trip, and seeing some of his friends it doesn't seem like any time was put into doing something special for me. I had to ask him if we were doing anything on V Day, and he responded, "That's a good question." That was a wrong answer! haha
agnf666 Posted February 18, 2006 Posted February 18, 2006 You guys do talk and get together every week... So, there isn't a problem there... Maybe he just over looked V-Day... In which that could have happened... Does he feel really distant to you??? You don't have any other problems other then the V-day thing?? If it V Day thing does bother you alot then you need to say something.l.. Just waiting sometimes won't help.... I would be like so when are you going to make up V Day for me... Jsut don't be a super bytch about it...
nicolette Posted February 18, 2006 Posted February 18, 2006 It does hurt when you went all out to make his gift special, and you get nothing in return. But I do think it is a guy thing.... With my guy, I was always the one to do the nice things on V-day, and I felt like he didn't put much thought into it. I always got a card from him, but the gifts were just too cliche. One year, I told him to not worry about getting me something- but me being a girl, that really meant I still wanted something . Anyway, I still got him something nice, and he showed up with nothing, only a card. Guys just don't read into hints and take things very literal. I thought he still would have gotten me something, even flowers, but nothing. Then, one year he actually put thought into the gift. I was dying to know what it was, but he wouldn't tell me. Then on V-day, I was so excited to get it....then the bad news came....the gift wasn't ready! He ended up telling me it was this bracelet that was being customized (his friend's family owns a jewelry store and always gave us great deals). He was really upset and embarrassed. Of course, I was let down too. The point is that no matter what, I found that V-day will most likely be a disappointment! Either there is no thought put into the gift, no gift at all, or something "happened" to the gift you were supposed to get. But I do think it is a guy thing. Let's face it, V-day is not as important to a man as it is to a woman. As women, we put so much thought into the day, when the guys really do not. I didn't even see my guy for this V-day...we are just exchanging cards this weekend, nothing fancy. I wouldn't get too upset about the thing with your guy...remember, he is a guy...they are still naive to a woman's feelings on this day. If he is not acting any different to you than he normally does, I wouldn't worry about it. See what he does on Monday...maybe now he feels embarrassed and will make it up to you! P.S. Most guys i've talked to actually do not like V-day anyway.
Author Bellona Posted February 19, 2006 Author Posted February 19, 2006 Perhaps the day just didn't mean much to him, but I was still disappointed. He is a loyal guy who is pretty traditional in every sense -- so how this happened or why, I don't know. We don't have any other problems. We talk everyday, spend time together, and I'm not a secret to his friends or family. He takes me out with his friends, and we get along just fine. He is the one who pursued me hot and heavy and initiated "the talk." He thought I was dating a few guys at the same time. I had been, but I dropped them all when I started falling for him -- I just didn't let him know that. I'll see what happens on Monday, but I will let him know then that I was disappointed -- but not really angry. It just belies the fact that he has different priorities and they take precedence, and I'll acknowledge that to keep things in perspective.
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