AmItheOne Posted February 18, 2006 Posted February 18, 2006 Just need to vent a little...so freakin tired of spending weekends alone. I swear LDR's SUCK!!!! Sometimes I think it is worse than being single, because even if you can go out, there are no prospects of meeting anyone because you are "committed" to someone else, and for what...for a work-a-holic man who has the emotional equivalence of a hammer. I want to take presedence over his work once...or at least have him say that he misses me so much and wishes he didn't have to work so much. I truly believe that I love this man, but in the almost two years we have dated (all but about 6 months were LD), we have never said the three words I desperately need to hear. To complicate matters, I moved back to my hometown about 6 months ago where I have a "friend". This is a guy I dated off and on for about 4 years and we have remained close friends...he is probably perfect for me, we have a great time together, and I know he wants more between us than just friends...but I don't know. On the one hand it would be great...we are so very comfortable with each other, our kids are best friends and we have a lot of history. On the other hand, I am scared that I may get into this because I am lonely and I really want that love and attention from my current SO but will settle so that I will have someone here. Blah, blah, blah...I sound like a whiney baby...but thanks for listening!
Walk Posted February 18, 2006 Posted February 18, 2006 Don't really have any input here.. just wanted to say I know it's hard and lonely. Best advice I can give is go out with your friends, spend time with family, see people who love you and surround yourself with them when feeling low. And you will have to ask yourself at some point, is this what you really want out of a relationship? Are you happy to stay in a relationship for the next 4 or 6 years like this? And don't just go with the other guy because you're feeling lonely. You already know that'd be a receipe for disaster.
Author AmItheOne Posted February 18, 2006 Author Posted February 18, 2006 No, I definitely do not want to spend the next 4-6 years like this. I know I have a problem with expressing myself when it comes to him...I never say what I am truly feeling and instead keep it bottled inside for fear that he will say what I don't want to hear I guess. We have never defined our relationship, never really even talked about it...is that healthy? He did send me a very sweet card for VD saying he knows the distance is hard but having me in his life is amazing...but I feel like he doesn't back up those words with actions. I want to talk to him about this but I don't know the best way to approach it...we work opposite schedules, I work 10 hour days til 5:30, he starts his day at 11 pm, so our time is so very limited on the phone that when I think I've got the guts to bring it up, he has to go to get ready for work...and when we do get a weekend together I don't want to bring it up for fear that it will turn ugly and I will be stuck up there. I am a very independent person, have been raising my daughter alone since birth (going on 8 years now) and put myself through college (just graduated in May!) moving to a city with her where we knew no one and staring from scratch. I am proud of my accomplisments and feel that I am at a place in my life where I am ready for that next step...guess it doesn't help that I am an impatient doofus...I don't want to rush into anything, especially marriage, but after almost 2 years together I think we should be further along than we are. Does anyone else out there have a similar situation?...how long do you wait to see if someone tells you they love you? I've never waited this long before and it scares me that if it hasn't happened by now, it never will.
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