Alexandernyc Posted February 17, 2006 Posted February 17, 2006 I broke up with my gf after were together for four years. The break up was very emotional on her side and it reached to the point that she was throwing stuff in my face and threading to put her own apartment on fire. When I thought she had calmed down, all of a sudden she reached out to her sleeping pills and tried to swallow them all at once. The pills (around 20-30) were already inside her mouth when I quickly stuck one of my fingers inside and tried to get them out again, with her struggling on the floor. I was successful, but left a large scratch under her lip. Afterwards she washed out her mouth and begged me to stay since otherwise she would try doing it again. I left her place in the morning (after three hours of sleep) but already before noon time she called me claiming that I hurt her intentionally and that she would file charges against me. When I arrived at my office my boss came up to me and said a woman had left a voice message on his phone, stating that I hurt her and that “her lawyer was looking for me”. Right now I’m feeling like my world is braking apart since she’s clearly trying to destroy my life and I have to deal with the emotional side of the break up as well. I know there is no way back for me, but is there anything else I can do………
UT_longhorn Posted February 18, 2006 Posted February 18, 2006 shes doing anything she can to hold on to you. its her desperation. please try to be sympathetic to her situation as it hurts her so much that she's acting like that. yes..it is an ugly sight. yes..it makes you realize even more that you don't want her. i don't know if you've ever been on her side...but she really needs a bit of compassion. maybe you should sit down with her and have a very calm discussion. lay out the reasons why this must be. tell her each of you need at least 30 days to think about everything without any contact. this will give her some time to calm herself.
LonelyinOhio Posted February 18, 2006 Posted February 18, 2006 Get the name of a great psychiatrist in your area, because she needs to be in front of him/her. Your ex is off the scale - it's one thing to reach out and beg and plead....it's another to essentially attempt suicide then attempt to prosecute you for some sort of damage you may have caused. If past behavior is any indication of future behavior (and believe me -- it IS), then this pattern will just get worse and worse. So you help her by getting her in touch with a real professional who can help her, and you get OUT of her life in every way you can.
blueskyeyes Posted February 18, 2006 Posted February 18, 2006 Look she has some major problems. I agree she needs to see a psychologist BUT that is her problrm not yours. Know that almost everyone feels guilty when they break up with someone, especially if you actually cared for someone. I broke up with a great gal this past Oct. becuase I wasn't in big "L" love with her. I'm not scared to be in love just I wasn't feeling it from her. She was head over heals in love with me and literally breaking up with her felt like I was hitting my best friend with a bus. From her reaction I think you made the right choice as there are deeper issues there that she hasn't dealt with. It is not your job to help her see those problems, it's your job to take care of yourself just as it's her job to take care of herself. My advise is just to not communicate with her in any way shape or form. Not to be cruel but she will latch her hopes of reconcilliation on to any form of communication. (in her mind) If he didn't care he woulodn't talk to me. I bet you do care, care a lot but this IS one of those tough love situations. I bet there has been a lot of drama in the past before the break-up? I bet you are really tired of the drama? If so you need to look out for yourself. There is a certain amount of selfishness that IS healthy. She is only looking out for her self interest, you need to look out for yours as she certainly isn't (calling your boss) Arghhhh She may or not be OK BUT that isn't your problem. I'd advise seeing a psychologist too if just for a tune-up. The break up of a LTR is hard for both parties. I wish you the best. Drama is for actors, not for lovers, -Johnny
Recommended Posts