signofthegoat Posted February 17, 2006 Posted February 17, 2006 So, I've been crushing rather hard on this guy for almost a month now. I feel very confident around him and started dropping hints right away. I had never communicated with him before, so I initiated contact with him via e-mail by inviting him to bowl with me so that we could get better acquainted. I received a reply the next day with him telling me that yeah, he'd definitely like to go sometime. I didn't take the fact that he included his number in the e-mail to heart since he tends to give it out freely. However, he's one of those typical guys that probably drops it on accident in puddles of water and what not, and doesn't really bring it along on fishing trips. Anyway, we are both Seniors in high-school and we share both lunch and 6th period together. He has been responsive to me each and every time I've either waved or initiated a conversation, no matter how brief, with him. I mean, he has one of the warmest and widest smiles I've ever seen. Well, one of the biggest hints I decided to drop was when I gave him a DVD I knew he'd enjoy borrowing. Underneath the clasp or claws that hold the disc in, I taped my number so that he'd only have access to it should he actually view the DVD. Turns out that he did indeed watch it that following evening, but did not finally call me until two weeks later. Two days prior to calling me, I had confronted him after class and asked him if he was aware of my liking him. He said that he kind of knew it and that he has been looking forward to giving me a call eventually. He said that he's been extremely busy with both school and work, but I could tell that he was being sincere. The reason he called was because I had actually tried to call him earlier that afternoon to see if he could pick me up somewhere and give me a ride home, but it was his mom whom I ended up speaking to. Even though he was technically calling me "back," I considered it legitimate and decided that he passed "the phone test." Our conversation lasted roughly 12 minutes and came to an end due to both our cell phone batteries dying. It basically consisted of us discussing our cars and jobs; nothing about our feelings... yet, anyway. It went well. So, what's been confusing me as of late is what I overheard yesterday afternoon. While in 6th period, as he was in the middle of communicating with our mutual friend in front of him and maybe some other people, I heard him say that he doesn't want a girlfriend. Now, I'm not sure if I had anything to do with that at all, and something inside of me suggests that I didn't, but I immediately flushed and felt stopped in my tracks. Like, the train slowed down for a moment. However, after class I came up to him with puppy eyes and asked him if he could do me a big favor. He knew that it was probably about getting a ride home and although he seemed very sympathetic about me missing one the day before, he said that he wasn't going my way at the moment and that where he was headed (with friends, I guess) was a ways away from where I live. We walked together to the next building, which was our third time doing so (the first was when I gave him the DVD and the second was my confession), and I told him I wasn't trying to pull a guilt trip but that I was clearly bummed. The thing is, you see, that I didn't mind so much that I had to stay and attend my last period (since he doesn't have a 7th period like I do), but that I didn't get to ride home WITH HIM. That was my whole intention. As usual, he was so nice to me and held the door open for me and gave me a shoulder nudge right before he left the building. Now I'm starting to wonder if he treats all of the girls he knows this way, even though his responsive behavior and charming attitude has gotten me feeling almost led on; I'm falling more and more infatuated with him as the days pass. This is so new to me because I can't remember ever being so sexually attracted to someone so nice to me and so vulnerable. I'm attracted to him so much, from his shaved head to his stocky arms (although he's of average build) to his smile... and also to his personality, his sense of humor, and his chivalry. I want him to want me so much and I want him to know that I'm worth including into his so-called busy schedule. He's been concerned with getting his grades up because he used to slack and he wants to get scholarship type things, he delivers Chinese food around three or so days a week, and he also has a social life with his guy friends. I've been told that he's never had a girlfriend before, even though he always flirts with the opposite sex, and that he's a virgin. I understand that he might think having a girlfriend might take too much work, but maybe he's just shocked right now that a girl actually approached him and let him know she was attracted and interested in him. He might not understand that it's possible he could work a relationship into his agenda. Do you all know how I could get him to start considering me as a girlfriend, which if the info is true, it would mean both his and my first. If we ended up sleeping together, it'd also be the firsts for both of us, but I'm going to try and refrain from letting him know I'm in the same boat as he is. Help is still appreciated, even though I've done my research on courting and flirting, and I've been through the relationship books and have gotten tips from sources around me. I couldn't stand to not have this guy as my first boyfriend, even though it's taken me 18 years to get there. It would be well worth the wait, I think.
brightskies Posted February 19, 2006 Posted February 19, 2006 You've made it very clear that you're interested, and he hasn't made a move or expressed interest in you other in a friendly manner. It's time to back off. If he wants more than light flirtation or friendship, he'll come to you. Trust me, even the shyest of guys will come around and say something. And this guy doesn't seem like a shy guy. He's probably enjoying your attention, but pursuing him more than you already will just signal desperation. Things could get awkward. Keep your eyes open for other prospects and move on. If he's admitted that he's not interested in having a girlfriend, even indirectly, then take his word for it. It may or may not be a fear of commitment, it may be that he's just busy. In any case, it doesn't matter. Just don't waste your time hankering for someone who shows no clear mutual interest or you're in for a lot of disappointment.
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