whats wrong with me Posted February 17, 2006 Posted February 17, 2006 (forgot a couple sentence) >>Unless we were fighting. Even though it is not the right thing to do...in a fight I probably would say something to that affect (that he's a lazy bum thats why he doesn't get a part time job and he's using college as an excuse.) this might be the way I feel <<<Not that its true especially if I wanted to go to college and didnt, but instead went to work.
Author Walk Posted February 18, 2006 Author Posted February 18, 2006 f***ing men!!!!!!!!!!!!! #$%&*#!%$*%$*!#@$% I tried to talk to him about the list that littlekitty put on here. His need to bring up every stupid incident from the past 2 years..... I didn't say the word stupid, although I wanted to. Tried to talk to him about how he approaches problems he's having with me or the relationship. FCK MEN!!!!!!!!! (I don't really mean this... not all men. I'm just really mad right now) I stood my ground. Tried to. I wish to hell I had a tape recorder. He's insane. Damn, I wish I could remember what exactly he said now.... damn it. It made no sense to me. NONE. Along the lines of I don't blame you for what you do, but you do this and you cause the whole thing, but it's not you, but you caused it. AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!! I told him if he wanted to discuss a problem with me then we need to work on how he approaches it. And to not drag in everything from the past two years into it. That if he's unhappy that I didn't come, then all he needs to do is say that, and I would do everything possible to rectify the situation. But if he was going to launch into how all women are evil... Oh that was what he was saying in his circular argument. How I'm not included in his broad generalization about ALL women, but how he's actually talking about the way I act, but I'm not to take offense when he says all women suck because he isn't talking about me, but he is really talking about me, but then back to how he's just venting about something he doesn't understand about women in general and he's not including me into that category. And how he is trying to understand something, but how I'm arguing with him every step of the way. And I told him that I was just offering a different view of it, like he always does to me when I'm ranting about something. He tells me he doesn't want to hear my view, that he just wants to blow off steam. How I should just listen and let him get over it. But he's really talking about me when he talks about how women in general take advantage of their SO's and use them for their money and never put out, and just take and take. And he doesn't understand why I have to get so defensive about it, and cause an argument. And after I try to point out how illogical all that was, he switches to how this is the same as when I forgot the eggs one time months ago. After that it was just a free for all. I told him I'd be gone when he got home today. He said he really doesn't want that, but he's tired of arguing with me all the time. How he works too hard to spend his few hours home from work fighting with me. Oh, and a long speil about how he is the way he is. He isn't going to change. This is the way he knwos how to deal with issues, and if I don't like it there's the door. I tried telling him there are other ways to discuss problems in a relationship. Better ways. That all I was asking for is that when he has a problem to just say what it is, not go off for an hour about how I didn't pick up eggs one time 8 months ago while at the store because I'd JUST bought a whole thing of eggs two days prior to that and thought we still had a ton left. He said I should've apologized for not picking them up, that we never resolved the issue, and that it shows how I am not attentive to his needs. I asked how thinking we had eggs showed I didn't give a shyt about him. He said I was taking his words out of proportion. He never said I didn't give a shyt about him. Am I wrong thinking that was what he meant? I'm just venting.... I know what the response will be from the posters on here. I'm so angry. I can't believe he would continue to refuse to hear a single thing I say. As soon as I make a valid point, he switches it into how I'm being unreasonable because he's told me he's abrupt in discussing things. And it's not his fault because that's all he knows. But it's my fault because when he used to come to me at the very beginning of our relationship, very beginning, and told me he wants me to ask him to go down on me, I didn't. That he had to get to this point of demanding things because i wouldn't do what he'd asked politely for in the first place. That he has to blow up at me to get me to see that I'm not doing the "few things he's asked for". No matter how many times I've told him how terribly uncomfortable having to ask for oral sex makes me. How I had never, in 30yrs, even allowed a guy to go down on me prior to him. Why couldn't he just understand I had a hang-up on it? Why couldn't he just be a tiny bit sympathetic and accept that it would take a long time for me to feel comfortable in doing that. Not a week or two. But he equates it to how I denied him something because I just didn't want to put the effort into it. That I forced him to get to the point that he had to demand I give something because otherwise he wouldn't get anything. What an azz!!!!!!!!! I want to scream. Beat the hell outta someone. Punch him in the face. f*** me. Why the hell do I still love him? Why? I don't understand this. Why the hell would someone continue to love someone (or something) like this? It makes no sense. Everything says I am a frickin' FOOL for having even a drop of feeling for this guy. It's retarded! Why can't I just kill it? Kill this f***ed up feeling, put it out of it's misery? Two years of my life, wasted! two years with a maniac who's pride is so great he can't admit he f***ed up. Can't apologize. Can't even admit to himself he screwed up. Wasted my life. My time, and my heart. Stupid.
noclobber Posted February 18, 2006 Posted February 18, 2006 God walk.... This is getting nastier with each day. By now its very clear that your boyfriend has hell a lot of issues. There cannot be any questions about that. In my opinion I see an imminent break-up looming around the corner. Even if you don't I think he might! Be completely honest here, do you still love this person? Do you still think things would change for the better? I am sorry to say this one more time Walk, but I think its better that you both break-up! If you cannot stay with your brother can you use your tax refund and manage for a while till you get some part-time job? Whatever it is, just get away from this person. He is destroying you.
Outcast Posted February 18, 2006 Posted February 18, 2006 But you'll stay. And keep staying. Until he finally does something horrible - but I fear it may take personal injury or worse to persuade you to get the hell out. You do understand how unhealthy your behaviour is, don't you? And that you really need to get yourself some therapy, right? You're in deep and serious trouble because you can't extract yourself from this horrible mess you're in. If I were your parent, I'd have one of those cult deprogramming groups kidnap you and keep you away from him until you wised up because I'd be afraid for your safety and sanity.
Becoming Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 But you'll stay. And keep staying. Until he finally does something horrible - but I fear it may take personal injury or worse to persuade you to get the hell out. You do understand how unhealthy your behaviour is, don't you? And that you really need to get yourself some therapy, right? You're in deep and serious trouble because you can't extract yourself from this horrible mess you're in. If I were your parent, I'd have one of those cult deprogramming groups kidnap you and keep you away from him until you wised up because I'd be afraid for your safety and sanity. I agree with OC here. What we see of you Walk is an intelligent person who wants to be and do more with her life, yet is stuck with a guy who treats her so bad. I watched my father demolish my mother with verbal abuse like this. I will never forget the day I saw the light snuffed out in her eyes. One of the scariest things I ever saw. I don't want to see that happen to you, Walk. That's all. What about renting someplace further from campus? You'd have to commute, and that time's precious, but it's also good thinking time if traffic's not too bad. Checkout http://www.craigslist.com for sublets in your area. They can help you transition into something later. I took 4 courses one summer and did nothing else. Media law courses are pretty tough, and the writing course could be a lot of work, but it sounds doable to me. I always liked summer courses; they're more relaxed somehow even though they're also intense.
Recommended Posts