Ruff Ryder Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 Hi all, Well after v-day my life has been increasling diffrent. Not to say my ex and I are back together but rather to say I think she wants everything that she had but without the commitment. She sent me a letter that really made an impact on me. She went on about thank you for loving me and thank you fr being there and thank you for this and that. She included in the letter that she owed me a day of my choice of pampering and loving. Does she really care? Should I still care? I have run from it faced it bent my mind around it and still after everything I still care for her. Is that wrong or maybe its the remains of a broke heart that is talking. I feel that maybe we could work but I get mixed signals all the time from her one day its I love you the next I have no idear. i feel that maybe we should just leave it in the past. i feel that she doent care on how her actions effect me. i feel that all this could be avoided. i feel mad and sad and cross I fell that it isnt fair what she is doing to me I feel that this isnt right then I feel its great I dont know whats going on. I consider myself strong mentaly and emotionall but this recent epsiode had got me thinking diffrently. Maybe I'm not over her like I thought I was. Maybe she just needs a back up plan emotionall support. Maybe we were doomed from the start then maybe we are ment to be. If what your feeling is so strong could it still be wrong? I have no clue what the next steps are I have no idear were to from here. I cant think of life being empty like this again. i want a family in the next 2-3 years and all those type of dreams and assprations were taken from me. What is it what happens next? Thanks guys.
CaliGuy Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 RR based on the last couple of post you have made about her, you really have to decide what you want. You know what her personality is like and you know she can't change overnight. If you want to break NC realize it could put you back to square one. But, if it gives you the answers you want to truly close the book, that's one example of a good reason to break it. So if you want to ask her, do so. Ask her what's changed? What will change? etc. You can formulate some questions and just send them to her. Do you really want her back after all that has happened and knowing how she is? J Dub has a good example that people just don't change easily. It takes a very, very long time. Good luck whatever you decide.
Author Ruff Ryder Posted February 16, 2006 Author Posted February 16, 2006 Well, you raise a good point do I want her back? Right now the answer would have to be a swift no. Do i still care for her the answer a swifter yes. Break nc well thats for quitters I have no intention of breaking NC maybe one day when massive changers happen I may very well talk to her maybe to invite her to my wedding but in all serious I dont belive that we are suited and the more I think about it the more convinced I am of that. Its her actions that are hard to read. Just when you think you know some one the drop a bomb on you. I have no clue as to what she is playing for. That the real thought what is it that she is playing at with those letters and actions?
whichwayisup Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 Sit down and do a pro/con list about her and the relationship. What good things does she bring into the relationship? Write out all the good things you love about her and how she makes you feel. The con list, put down the bad stuff. What she did that upset/hurt/angered you? List her negative qualities and the bad that was brought into the relationship. Now, which of the two lists makes you feel more? Is one balanced more than the other? IS she worth the heartache and pain - Or is your own peace of mind and shielding your heart, looking after YOU more important. Do you want to feel bad all the time, or just hurt intensely for a little while and in time things get easier and better?
Author Ruff Ryder Posted February 16, 2006 Author Posted February 16, 2006 To me its like running into a brick wall you know its gonna hurt, but then sometimes you do it just to see if it really will. Like I said now I cant get back together with her. Maybe in the future there could be a chance if I havent found happiness some where else. I have far to much focuse on work now to get involved with her again that would just mess it all up I think.
CaliGuy Posted February 17, 2006 Posted February 17, 2006 Then you've answered your own questions, RR
Author Ruff Ryder Posted February 17, 2006 Author Posted February 17, 2006 Hey hey you are right. Maybe I just needed some one else to say it too. Thanks mate as always you have been a big help. Thnks a mil brother. Well Im off to the gym to kill myself again.
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