My_Other_I Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 What would you do if you were with your WS in public place/venue and ran into the exOW/OM? OW/OM - have you ran into your exes and their spouses? What happened? What did you do? Thanks for your replies! MOI
Author My_Other_I Posted February 16, 2006 Author Posted February 16, 2006 what is WS? cheater wayward(sp?) spouse
brokenherted Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 What would you do if you were with your WS in public place/venue and ran into the exOW/OM? OW/OM - have you ran into your exes and their spouses? What happened? What did you do? Thanks for your replies! MOI Probably kill him. I am struggling with this in general. I sure as hell want to go punch his lights out but I know that would be wrong. I dont know for sure what would happen if I saw him. (and I do know what he looks like), but I dont think it would it be pretty.
Chump64 Posted February 17, 2006 Posted February 17, 2006 This will surely happen to us at some point. We live in a town of about 60K people. The OW's daughter will go to the same HS as our two sons and will be in a grade right between our two boys. We will probably see them at school functions, etc. Plus, the four of us ALL work at the same (large) institution. (About 20K employees, and none of us work in close proximity -- except for my husband and the OW; but he is moving to a new building soon.) I suspect nothing will happen. Hopefully there will be no acknowledgment. I know what her two vehicles look like and even though she lives on a different side of town, I look for her car every time I go shopping, so I can avoid her. I think her husband is too civilized to do anything to my husband. And frankly, he should be more mad at HER, vs. my husband.
Curmudgeon Posted February 17, 2006 Posted February 17, 2006 And frankly, he should be more mad at HER, vs. my husband. Why! I would think he should be equally mad at both of them. Admittedly, I've been out of school for decades but I seem to remember that biologically, it takes two to tango.
Curmudgeon Posted February 17, 2006 Posted February 17, 2006 I divorced her. She married him. I couldn't have cared less about either of them.
mopar crazy Posted February 17, 2006 Posted February 17, 2006 What would you do if you were with your WS in public place/venue and ran into the exOW/OM? OW/OM - have you ran into your exes and their spouses? What happened? What did you do? Thanks for your replies! MOI I knew the OW that H had an A w/, they worked 2gether. She was his asst. I didn't see her until after the A was over and H and I had been back 2gether about 9 months. We don't live in the same area anymore. Anyhow, we went to a bday party at a bar she was at w/ her new BF. All I did was give her a dirty look. I was talking to a friend and she walked past us and smiled at my friend and my friend just gave her a dirty look. This friend was there for support when I was going through the A. Her H also had an A about a year or two b4 H did. H didn't do or say anything to her. It's been 3 years since the A took place and even though I forgive her I still don't like her.
ThumbingMyWay Posted February 17, 2006 Posted February 17, 2006 What would you do if you were with your WS in public place/venue and ran into the exOW/OM? been pondering this question for over 1 year. havent seen the OM yet. public place, hmmmm. not realy sure yet, what ever was meant to be will be I guess. leaning towards forgiveness and shame. Shaming a person can be much more effective than anger towards them.
whats wrong with me Posted February 17, 2006 Posted February 17, 2006 Probably kill him. I am struggling with this in general. I sure as hell want to go punch his lights out but I know that would be wrong. I dont know for sure what would happen if I saw him. (and I do know what he looks like), but I dont think it would it be pretty. although I'd love to say that. Thats not what happened. my h had multiple A's. most the time the OW and I ignore each other. Every so often a b*tch will just have to come up and say "Hi". I've got serious personality problems so depends on my mood..... one time I hit her ......another time I hit him! you know just reading that really pisses me off. I wish I could post a picture of myself so you could see why I ask whats wrong with me! Anyway, unless your SO is a glutton for punishment, he/she will probabley steer you clear before you ever notice the OW/OM.
Chump64 Posted February 17, 2006 Posted February 17, 2006 Curmudgeon, I'm angry with the OW. But I'm more angry with / disappointed in my spouse vs. the OW. She didn't promise her life to me / didn't 'marry' me.
Author My_Other_I Posted February 18, 2006 Author Posted February 18, 2006 you know just reading that really pisses me off. I wish I could post a picture of myself so you could see why I ask whats wrong with me! . Maybe that's what's wrong with you. You admit that you have problems with moods and point out your looks. Good looks are not a guarantee for good marriage.
Guest Posted February 18, 2006 Posted February 18, 2006 I didn't mean that as posting an ugly or pretty picture of myself (because I could do that), I'm just not good with words, and I wish someone could see me (as a person) and my life and tell me whats wrong.
silktricks Posted February 18, 2006 Posted February 18, 2006 My tendency is to walk away from "scenes", but I could make an exception for her. I've had a fantasy of slapping her, but I know me well enough to know that wouldn't happen. The problem is I don't really know what she looks like. I've seen her, but it's been fleeting - her driving by the house, etc. One of my fears has been that she would attempt to befriend me, I wouldn't know it was her and would be nice to her. I'd feel afterward that I had betrayed myself. Kinda sick, I know - but still a fear.
Chump64 Posted February 18, 2006 Posted February 18, 2006 I can't decide if it's better to know or not know your spouse's affair partner. In my case, I've known her as long as my husband has known her. We have been "friends" (or so I thought), as couples. We've been at each others' houses, to parties together, etc. In a way, this makes it easier, because I know her personally and I know that I have more going for me than she does in many ways. I know this is shallow, but if she was gorgeous and extremely intelligent / funny (and she is none of those), I would somehow feel worse about myself. I know, stupid and shallow of me, but so be it.
silktricks Posted February 18, 2006 Posted February 18, 2006 I can't decide if it's better to know or not know your spouse's affair partner. In my case, I've known her as long as my husband has known her. We have been "friends" (or so I thought), as couples. We've been at each others' houses, to parties together, etc. In a way, this makes it easier, because I know her personally and I know that I have more going for me than she does in many ways. I know this is shallow, but if she was gorgeous and extremely intelligent / funny (and she is none of those), I would somehow feel worse about myself. I know, stupid and shallow of me, but so be it. My H said the OW was completely unattractive to him and stupid. Well --- somehow I doubt some of that, ya know? But, it's OK. I know that part of why he says it is because he thinks that will help me be less afraid and feel less bad. Though I do think that men who have affairs but have zero intention of leaving their wives (and that certainly sounds like the case with your husband) aren't looking for someone who is their ideal. They are looking for something to fill something that's missing, maybe sometimes just the excitement of maybe getting caught. . .
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