Delectable Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 Are threesomes healthy or unhealthy? What are the parameters that make a threesome added spice to the bedroom and what are the parameters that make a threesome...the beginning of the end? How does one have a healthy smart threesome? Background: I'm in love and the thougth of my wonderful man being touched or having sex with another woman defintely doesn't get me in the mood...but he has a fantasy. He found out I was planning on surprising him with one for Valentine's Day and he stopped me. He said 'of course' it is a fantasy of his and he would love to try it and really hopes one day he can, but not at the cost of us and he opened a dialouge to see if I really wanted to do it. His words,"Of course I want to try a threesome but I never want to do anything that might jeopardize 'us' you are the best thing that has ever happened to and I'm not stupid - I don't want to screw this up." I love this man...being in my 30's and only having 4 sexual partners I feel like very inexperienced. He a healthy GORGEOUS man (late 20's) has had more than 3x the sexual partners I have. I want to explore everything with him...but not at the cost of our relationship. Should this just remain fantasy talk?
7on Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 yeah, I wouldn't get worked up about it. I think women and men have different ideas of fantasies. Women always fantasize about getting married to Mr. Right. Men on the other hand have more unusual fantasies. Women view "fantasies" as more happenable things. Guys' fantasies typically would be almost too outlandish to even exist in real life. In other words, women expect their fantasies to come true - men know their fantasies are fiction and will probably never happen. There are exceptions to every rule (ie the dominatrix) but your guy doesn't want to do it as a risk to your relationship. You know you don't want a 3some because you are posting here asking whether or not to do it. If you were into that sort of thing - you'd know if you want to do. For a fantasy like this to work everyone must be in on it or the fantasy is killed. IMO it's just talk and he won't think any less of you.
Sassy Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 I would say then if you want to keep this man at all don't bring a third wheel .. It could cause major conflict in your relationship with the trust issue. I don't think i would want to do that type of thing being i am a very jealous person . Leave it as a fanatsy and don't make it reality cause you might live to regret it!
bumbaclot Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 Interestinly enough, the same thing happened to a good friend of mine. He never told me about this, but his girlfriend, who is a good friend of mine did He was talking about 3-somes as well, and she actually wanted to do it as well and even had a specific good looking girl in mind. But when 3 of them had a chance, my friend backed out. So his gf was asking me what I think had just happened. I think he chickened out
catgirl1927 Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 The fact that he hesitated when you offered to do it I think means that you mean a lot to him. I personally think threesomes are awful, they're just basically way for a guy to get to have sex with another girl and pretend it isn't cheating because you are there. BUT not everyone feels that way about it. I think this is a very dangerous thing to do, and I personally wouldn't think that a guy would want to do something like that with someone he actually cared about. I have had several guys tell me that threesomes are something you do with someone you date for fun and sex, not something for the woman you love. ALL men have fantasies about two women at once. It's completely normal. I often wonder if the reality wouldn't be a little bit of a disappointment. But a fantasy is just that, a fantasy. I would like to be able to fly, or have superhuman strength. They're just fantasies.
bumbaclot Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 catgirl1927: I was just trying to edit my post and add exactly what you said at the end "But a fantasy is just that, a fantasy.", but couldn't do it, because you posted quickly after me
Author Delectable Posted February 18, 2006 Author Posted February 18, 2006 The fact that he hesitated when you offered to do it I think means that you mean a lot to him. I know I do and he means so much to me...which is the only reason why I was considering it...
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