serial muse Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 It's the security feeling and knowing that you're not alone. That the love of your life is THERE for you, no matter what. Fullfilling needs, being together, good times and bad times...Reliability. Yes, precisely.
Author Woggle Posted February 16, 2006 Author Posted February 16, 2006 She mentioned something about being able to lean on me without feeling submissive and how great that felt.
blind_otter Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 I don't really completely understand but I don't think anyone could. I don't understand what those feelings feel like, I've never experienced them. So to me even the explanation seems confusing. Sorry to hijack the thread. I was thinking about it and realized that since I've never experienced that then I have no frame of reference from which to understand it. oops!
whichwayisup Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 So there is no difference between a woman who likes her independence and a woman who enjoys being submissive in relationships, at least in terms of this. I don't look at it that way B_O at all. For me, I AM independant, I do things on my own...But I share MY life with my husband. Together we face the rocks life throws at us. I don't have to go at it on my own. It's a happy safe thing, not a bad thing nor is it submissive. He doesn't "tell" me what to do and take over - Together we discuss things and together make decisions. I'm trying to word it so you can understand better B_O. I hope this helps abit more. She mentioned something about being able to lean on me without feeling submissive and how great that felt. See, that has NOTHING to do with money Woggle, that has to do with her trust level, her comfort level with you and most of all how she feels WITH you as your "almost" wife. It's comforting to have someone by your side.
BeFree Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 Why are you concerned with this statement. She is telling you that she can take care of herself but that if things where to change she could trust that you could hold down the fort. I'm guessing she is pretty independant and makes her own money. Independant women still want to marry someone who could handle things. Monetary or mentally. Why make a big deal out of it? You should take it as a compliment.
kitkat826 Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 She mentioned something about being able to lean on me without feeling submissive and how great that felt. I am a woman who likes to consider herself to be "independent" in all senses of the word; financially, emotionally, and physically. It would take a really fabulous man that I loved for me to admit that I could trust them in a time of need without feeling, as your fiance said, "submissive". I imagine that to truly be a wonderfully liberating and peaceful feeling. I am dating someone now who has this potential, and I would be absolutely smitten if it were to develop more. My guess is that she meant it in a very postive and healthy way as a sign of her love for you and the love she feels from you.
Mz. Pixie Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 I am a woman who likes to consider herself to be "independent" in all senses of the word; financially, emotionally, and physically. It would take a really fabulous man that I loved for me to admit that I could trust them in a time of need without feeling, as your fiance said, "submissive". I imagine that to truly be a wonderfully liberating and peaceful feeling. I am dating someone now who has this potential, and I would be absolutely smitten if it were to develop more. My guess is that she meant it in a very postive and healthy way as a sign of her love for you and the love she feels from you. Yes, I agree. I'm independent and I've always been able to take care of myself. In fact, I've never really depended on anyone my entire life. I always had to be the strong one, the responsible one. Now, with my husband, I feel at times it's okay for me to be vulnerable and to lean on him at times. Instead of always having to be the one to give the comfort, I feel free to receive it.
Tenorman Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 Woggle, I don't know your or your fiancee's background so forgive me if I am way off mark, but I read the statement as her feminine/maternal instinct finding voice - ie BABIES!
magda Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 One thing about strong relationships is you move from the "independent" stage to "interdependent". That's what happens when you become family... you grow when you realize depending on someone and being depended on can be a step forward not a step back. It's nice to have someone to lean on and to be a member of a team instead of only looking out for numero uno, which can be exhausting and lonely. I wouldn't alert the gold-digger police or anything.. if something happened it's nice to be able to count on each other.
Cecelius Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 She means that if she feels like letting herself go, or gets emotionally needy, you will be there to pick up the slack. Wonder what would happen if you did the same? She'd be jocking some other dude 2 days later...
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