charlottemarie Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 My marraige ended in divorce in Sept. of 2005. Unfortunately the property settlement has not even begun. He dragged his feeet about getting an attorney to represent him, delayed submitting his 16C financial report and is making good on his threat to "drag this thing out, take it to court and cause "me" to spend LOTS of money". Nice guy, huh? Today the attorneys and the judge are scheduled to have a conference call and set up a trial date. It really infuriates me that he is forcing this situation into court. We really have very little to settle between us financially......a house........no chidren were involved and I have always hoped we could come to an understanding between us without going to court. I have submitted ANOTHER proposal to him in the hopes that we can just move on. I have compromised what I think is a fair settlement in order to have closure on this. Any advice on remaining calm during the waiting process and not allowing the uncertainty and frustration to get to me? Some days are good and other days I'd really just like to smack him good.
dgiirl Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 Are you the one who left? Give him some more time to work through the pain. The first 6 months I was totally devastated. I really needed some time to work through the pain and trauma. The first two months my exh was adamant about settling everything. I couldnt even think straight and told him to back the hell off. After two months, I came to him and said I was ready. He then proceeded to drag it out for 3 months. After that I finally filed for a divorce on my own. We then had to come to an agreement or we'd have to go to court. If your ex is being irrational, then draw up a separation agreement and give him some time to grieve. Maybe after a few more months he'll be ready to move on.
Author charlottemarie Posted February 16, 2006 Author Posted February 16, 2006 I did leave.......but only after repeatedly asking that we find a way to save our relationship. I previously posted under the name Memomma........lots of history in different forums that chronicles my steps to this decision. I think the biggest thing that is hurting him is his pride. I really don't think he believed me when I told him I would not live my life the way we were. I guess he just didn't think I had it in me to leave......wrong. Now I just wait and wonder when the financial aspect of this will be settled. My money is tied up in the equity of the house that he is refusing to put up for sale. I'm renting an apt. at $1350/month and it feels like I'm throwing $$$ into the wind instead of putting money into the equity of a home I own. Tough. It'll work out. Things alway do.
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