JSlax211 Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 It's been about 4 months now since my g/f and i broke up. We had been together nearly 5 years and have a 19 month old son... Are relationship was never perfect. We always had our problems, and we fought constantly, but were always determined that we would stick it out and everything would be ok. Eventually we just fell out, the romance was gone and we stopped trying to make eachother's lives easier. Now that we aren't together, all I can think of is how stupid I was for not rteating her the way I should have..I know that comes with what you learn from failed relationships, and ultimetely I will grow from this. And no matter how much I try to convince myself this is for the best, I can't stop thinking about how I want to be back with her. I know her new found freedom is everything she was looking for, and that she would never have me back. Not to mention the fact that just thinking about her with other guys is enough to make me jump out of my skin. What the hell can I do to get her out of my head!?! It's not even dwelling on the past, it's dwelling on a future that will never be
MassiveAtom Posted February 17, 2006 Posted February 17, 2006 I takes two people to fight you know. You can't always be strong and you will fail to be perfect certainly.Everybody says that returning to a bad relationship is emotional torture.If not suicide. If you just want to pull yourself together and don't have any designs on getting her back, and BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF, then it's a long difficult process of actively engaging yourself in your own healing. Do the things you think you should be doing for someone else, for yourself. It's vitally important that you take your time to learn about you and how you are. Just you. And learn to fully accept yourself. Did you know that we only reject others for the things we see in them, that we don't accept in ourselves. It's weird. Moreover, any abuse we take is directly proportional to the abuse we give ourselves. When that limit is breached by another person we cease to want to be close to them. So it's vitally important that you start refocusing your thoughts and energies on you. this is internal relationship development time. The most important relationship you have in this world, is the relationship you have with yourself. hope that helps, be well, take care... MA
skeptik224 Posted February 17, 2006 Posted February 17, 2006 I agree with MA in that it is time for you to start working on yourself. You need to worry only about bettering yourself. It takes 2 for a relationship to end - in most cases. I'm sure you had your faults just as she did. I never really thought about the idea that they do break up with us because they see in us what they don't accept themselves. That actually makes sense when you think about it. I can tell you that as time goes by, the intense emotions you feel now will start to dwindle into nothing short of a memory...as sad as that is. Take baby steps into learning the lesson your situation was meant to teach you. Once you learn the lesson - truly learn the lesson - you will grow so much. My situation this time around is different than yours, but nonetheless, I've learned my lessons. I'm finally on the upswing....the upswing that you will on soon enough my friend.
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