MassiveAtom Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 Hi all, long time no see eh? Good to be back! Don't forget to tip your moderators, they work hard so you don't have to. Anyway, I broke up with my girlfriend of about a year last week. This crap sucks! It's this annoying back and forth, remembering those amazibng connections, and that BOD! and then remembering the crazy! The low down is this, she would hear the most innocuous things as negative, the simplest of concepts were "mind games" to her. I would say "I can't MAKE you feel anything, only you are in control of how you feel" And she would go off the deep end, telling me that I was trying to manipulate her. WHA!?!? Once, in response to, "So no more stuff?" I said, "Stuff? what do you mean stuff?" come to find out later, it hurt that I said that! ONWARD - Who in their right mind would force entry into their significant other's home? Would you grab hold of your boyfriends jacket and when repeatedly asked, "Please let go of me." Refuse? Would you chase him down the hallway and lie to his friends that everything is okay? Would you say in response to, "I have a three year old, isn't it clear that I have to do that sometimes?" that " I DON'T GIVE A **** ABOUT YOUR THREE YEAR OLD!!" Would you threaten suicide? Talk about how ia relationship SHOULD be, for hours? Call at 7:00am on a kid weekend (that's when divorced dads have their kids folks ) and insist that you talk about this Would you keep talking when told, "I can't continue to have a productive conversation with you right now, I need to get off the phone." and then become irate and belligerent repeatedly saying, "WHen will you call!?!?" HAve you had to call the cops on an S.O.? It's a long and sad story. I realized what it said about me that I was with this person, and what this person was doing to herself. I wish I could've done something to help her, but my job is to love her, not to be her therapist. The problem is this, YES, I AM the one who broke it off, AND I am feeling a lot of remorse. WE had an amazing connection at more levels than I could count, but the one where we didn't was a DOOZIE! So I called it. now It hurts. What's THAT all about.
Lonestar Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 You had to make the decision to end it because it was an unhealthy relationship. She's obviously emotionally unstable and needs to heal and grow. It's doesn't matter how f*cked up someone is. It doesn't mean you love them any less because of it, but maybe you can't live that way. Saying goodbye to someone you still love, but know you can't be with is very painful.
riobikini Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 RE: MassiveAtom: " The problem is this, YES, I AM the one who broke it off, AND I am feeling a lot of remorse. WE had an amazing connection at more levels than I could count, but the one where we didn't was a DOOZIE! So I called it. now It hurts. What's THAT all about." The 'problem' isn't a problem, at all, -it is the solution to the problem. And you called it 'right.' As far as being hurt, -sounds perfectly human, to me. Be thankful you can still feel those feelings and keep your thoughts sane at the same time. Most people can't do that. -Rio
brisman Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 Hey Massive, what you are feeling is completely understandable. I had exactly the same issues with my girlfriend, but I put up with it for 5 years. She couldn't stand the fact that kids and ex-wife were in the picture, even though it was clear to blind freddy that I was devoted to her. Yes, I had the screaming and shouting and police and "I hate your *&&*ing children" and her driving her car into mine when she was mad, etc, etc. 5 years of putting up with ridiculously insecure behaviours and always being forgiving and saying "she's not really bad, she's just insecure". Of course, it didn't help. The only thing which may help is just walking away, which I have now done. That was 4 months ago and it still hurts like crazy, but blessedly I have come to realise that it was the only way forward. Knowing that it was the only forward is much much better than having to agonise over "did I make the wrong choice", even though it doesn't ease the pain of missing her.
Author MassiveAtom Posted February 16, 2006 Author Posted February 16, 2006 Boy I tell you, I forgot how good it is to come to loveshack drop a quick "HEy can I bend you ear?" and then receive this! {{{{LONESTAR}}} LTNS!!!! Brisman and rio, HELLO!! You guys in your own ways said the perfect things at the perfect time in the perfect way. JUST what I needed! Thanks for being here. Hurting less now. Got a date tonight, too I only hope my exgirlfriend doesn't stay on my mind. Maybe I should slow down a bit. No need to rush into another "thing." MA
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