venomrk Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 Here's the deal, I have two bestfriends. One is a cheerleader with me and I've grown very close too, she always seems to find guys that treat her good at first and then break her heart. She is true and because shes pretty, most of these flashy guys try to take advantage of her. I've been there for her on several different occasions and she always says she can think of no one else to call. She says that we're going to get married and is constantly telling me that she wishes other guys would for her what i do. I've had a crush on her for sometime, but now she has her mind on a guy she dated in high school who lives 3 hours away. I think she's my dream girl. On the other hand, the other is just as amazing. This past weekend I saw her and her boyfriend at a bar and he apparently thought I was a threat, because he took her away and later came up to me in private. When he did this, he tried to fight me until he learned of my military experience. Because of his actions, it caused a huge fight between him and her, and the next day because he had acted weird the previouc night she checked his camera. What she found was pictures of him kissing other girls, so they broke up. Now, she's leaning on me more than ever and is sending my signals that she might be interested. I've always had great chemistry between both girls, I've liked the first girl longer, only recently pondering dating the second. What should i do, i deeply care for both, but I just want to be happy, having no one has made a huge void in my life. Any advice out there?
bluechocolate Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 Seems pretty obvious to me. The first girl has her mind on a guy & lives 3 hours away. The second girl is available & apparently likes you, but if you start going out with her now you'll probably just be a rebound & they don't usually last. I've been there for her on several different occasions and she always says she can think of no one else to call. She says that we're going to get married and is constantly telling me that she wishes other guys would for her what i do. btw - I think this first girl is messing with your head & using you as an emotional crutch, it would probably be wise to cool things down with her a bit.
Author venomrk Posted February 15, 2006 Author Posted February 15, 2006 The first girl lives close to me, i see both girls almost everyday day. The boy the first girl likes, lives 3 hours away. Does that change it at all do you think?
bluechocolate Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 Oh sorry - I misread. But that doesn't change the fact that she's got her eye on another guy. I still say she's using you as an emotional crutch. Why doesn't she go out with you? If you're OK with just being friends, then do so. Just don't hang around with expectations of something more.
hurtbeyondwords Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 I obviously dont know eith girl but I would say the first one. The second just came out of a relationship and that can be dangerous. the first is a cheerleader.... nuff said;)
Author venomrk Posted February 15, 2006 Author Posted February 15, 2006 How do i approach the first girl if i were to tell her how i feel, i think she suspects it, but until i make it known i know she wont act. Since she is interested in him do i wait or speak up now and risk making things weird since she doesn have another interest? I proball will hold off on the second girl because like you mentioned, the rebound situation is never good. How do i react to her if she starts to flirt with me and get close, seeking comfort? Do i give it back, or would that lead her the wrong way?
hurtbeyondwords Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 wow, those are dooseys. well girl #1, her "crush" lives 3 hrs away so I wouldnt worry bout that. once she sees what she has right in front of her it wont be an issue. telling her... im probobly not the best person to ask, it's been a while. I would just start flirting with her, feel her out. if a girl likes you she will let you know. girl #2, try not to put youself in a situation where you will get too close. you can comfort someone without being physical. if she gets too close just back off a bit. she will get the hint without being completely forward, if she doesnt then tell her exactly why. not sure if this helps but all the best
Author venomrk Posted February 15, 2006 Author Posted February 15, 2006 thank you so much, both of you. your advice is great. I'm really struggling with this, girl #1 has been on my mind for sometime now, and I need some help on how to respond to girl #2.
bluechocolate Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 I had assumed girl #1 knew how you felt about her. She probably does. It can be difficult to get out of the friend zone sometimes. You're just going to have to bite the bullet & ask her out on a proper date. But if I were you I'd prepare myself for the 'lets just be friends' speech first. Girl #2 - like what hurtbeyondwords said. However, I'd be careful about pushing her away too much, she may interpret that as you not liking her at all. Just be honest with her & tell her your concerns about being in a rebound relationship.
Author venomrk Posted February 16, 2006 Author Posted February 16, 2006 UPDATE. First of all thank you for your advice. So last night i was talking with girl #1 on the computer, just making small talk when she asked me to be honest with her about something. Of course i said yes, and what ensued for the next two hours was conversation about how i liked her and how we're still great friends. I asked since she knew i liked her for awhile if she had ever thought about us together and she said no, because of the boy 3 hours away. they're not dating now, but she's interested in him remembering their good times from high school. when we talked last night she hinted that she could see us together and that she has feelings for me. but, the guy who owns her thoughts isnt me, its him. what should i do? stick it out and keep on the way i have been? it just seemed so out of the blue, i cant help but to think that she has some feelings for me and wanted some kind of confirmation that i had them for her as well.
hurtbeyondwords Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 that's great! I bet you feel better letting those feelings out. I would stick with it. dont put any pressure on her just go with it. If you 2 are meant to get a crack at it you will.
Yamaha Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 she hinted that she could see us together and that she has feelings for me. but, the guy who owns her thoughts isnt me, its him. what should i do? Stop being her emotional crutch. She will never see you as a serious b/f if you are always available to her. You need to back your relationship off with her for a time if you ever want her to see that she feels something for you other than friendship. You are comfortable and she likes to lean on you. Let her miss you. It might be a gamble and your friendship might be damaged but are you happy just being her good buddy?
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