meltwithme Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 Well I’m not sure what I’m thinking right now. My ex’s birthday is very soon. Last night (v-day) was grand for me and I didn't really think about her but I still miss her sometimes, even how awful she was to me. Her birthday was extremely important to her. I’m starting to think about calling or text her happy birthday. I was really clingy and I know this would be the wrong thing to do. I really should just ignore that day, I want to, I feel like I should but for some strange reason I almost feel obligated to do something. But I think nothing good will come out of it and she will still think I’m obsessing. I’ll just remind myself what will probably happen if I did call. A. She will ignore me B. She will be cold C. She will talk about her new man None of which I want any part of. I guess I just need some support in not contacting her at all on that day, so kick me in the pants and tell me again why I shouldn’t contact her please
skeptik224 Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 Don't set yourself back by contacting her. You seem to know logically what may happen - all you have to do is connect it to your heart. Be strong..don't fall backwards. It'll probably make her wonder - at some point throughout the day - why you didn't call. Let her wonder. Remain NC
CaliGuy Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 Don't send her a thing. No cards, calls, emails - nothing.
Author meltwithme Posted February 16, 2006 Author Posted February 16, 2006 I thought about her alot today, she doesn't deserve anything from me but I still have a soft spot for her. I have to get over her, I really do and I can do better, but better isn't the same. Damn it just feels like, if I don't contact her on that day I can never contact her again.... that finality scares me a little, I want to try one more time but know I shouldn't.
CaliGuy Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 I thought about her alot today, she doesn't deserve anything from me but I still have a soft spot for her. I have to get over her, I really do and I can do better, but better isn't the same. Damn it just feels like, if I don't contact her on that day I can never contact her again.... that finality scares me a little, I want to try one more time but know I shouldn't. The thing about 'finality' is you can never say never. How many times have you heard someone say they would never do something and then end up doing it? The point is that right now, it's final. You should accept that it's over and work on yourself, your needs and making yourself happy. She's not pining right now wondering if you're going to send her a birthday greeting. Even if you do it will be looked upon as being 'soft and clingy.' When your Ex is seeing someone else, their time and attention is focused on the new person, not what you are doing. If they care for you, they hope you are OK but they're not going to get angry at you for not sending them something on their birthday. If they do, it would show just how selfish they are to be angry and someone they dumped for not remebering their birthday. My point is, for right now it is final. You should accept it. And because you know you were clingy with her, by making any attempt to contact her, even on her birthday, it will solidify in her mind the decision to end the relationship on that basis. You can't live without her, you need her. You don't, but those who are clingy tend to feel that way. If I were you, I'd work on my confidence and self-esteem. Once you have built them up you'll realize you don't need to have someone in your life, you'll want them, but don't need them. It will help center you into a more balanced lifestyle. You'll be more attractive to other women as your confidence grows and soon you'll realize that you are fine without her. Good luck.
Guest Posted February 17, 2006 Posted February 17, 2006 hi cant tell you how good it was to read your thread my ex bday is the 28th and the exact same thing is going through my head maybe we could help each other maybe even text each other on there bdays instead and use that as a distraction method
bailey Posted February 17, 2006 Posted February 17, 2006 hi cant tell you how pleased i was to read your thread its my exs bday on the 28th and im feeling exactly the same maybe we could help each other
ReluctantRomeo Posted February 17, 2006 Posted February 17, 2006 I guess I just need some support in not contacting her at all on that day, so kick me in the pants and tell me again why I shouldn’t contact her please No contact = no new hurts. It's as simple as that. Until you're 100% over her, contact risks being painful in so many ways.
justhavetoletgo Posted March 14, 2006 Posted March 14, 2006 It's as simple as that. Until you're 100% over her, contact risks being painful in so many ways. agreed nicely put
TeaCooler Posted March 14, 2006 Posted March 14, 2006 Don't send her a thing. No cards, calls, emails - nothing. effing ditto.
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