Butterflying Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 I'm just wondering, anyone ever had an ex who dumps you, but always comes back? Why do you take them back each time? What do you do while they are gone? Do you think they will eventually stop leaving and choose you forever? I have BF who is back with me for the third time. He keeps contact with me as a friend while he's involved with someone else. But when his relationships end, he starts having sex with me and calling me his GF again. I keep taking him back because I never know which time is the time that he will be sincere. Previously, I had an XBF who did this same thing. One day, I finally decided not to take him back eventhough he was proposing marriage and saying this time is forever. I didn't believe him. Well, shortly after that, he met someone else, and they got married. I guess I'm wondering what are the chances that my BF will eventually stay. How many times does a guy typically leave and come back before he decides to stay? Hope the questions make sense!
clandestinidad Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 I've had quite a few that tried to come back....but I dont give second chances after major f***-ups. You mess up, and thats it Cheating, for example....major f*** up, no second chance Breaking up with me because you're young and dont want to be in a serious relationship anymore: major f*** up, no second chance Lying to me/hiding things repeatedly: major f*** up, no second chance Being emotionally and/or physically abusive: MAJOR f*** up, no second chance There's more but I think you get it. I think the point is, if youve broken up repeatedly it should probably be for good. There's a reason for all that breaking up, and I really dont think it would go away, so why keep wasting time on unhappiness?! You live your life once, why choose to make it a miserable one?!?!?
lindya Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 I'm just wondering, anyone ever had an ex who dumps you, but always comes back? I've kind of been in that situation - except that we would either drift apart or I would end things because he was being a crap partner. Whether you keep splitting up because the guy isn't treating you properly, or whether he's the one who keeps ending it, I don't think these on/off situations generally work out very well. Sorry The constant cycle of coupledom/break-up/reunion + honeymoon period/f***buddies/back to coupledom means that you never learn to work through your problems together. You just run away from eachother when it gets tough, mope for a while, fall back into eachother's lives...and it goes on and on. When I did finally attempt to sit down with my ex and work through problems as they arose, he couldn't cope with it at all. I don't think the mundane realities of having a proper adult relationship were things he wanted on the agenda. That's just my experience though.
blind_otter Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 I've done it, it didn't work out, he became obsessed with me.
jerbear Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 Mine was the opposite. She kept me as a friend and I kept my distance from her. She is now going thru a divorce, has kids, money issues, car issues, guy issues, etc... and decided to call me up to ask for assistance. I turned her down. She came back a few times only to get thrown back into the sea. So there really isn't a # of times. I just lost interest and moved on. If they did it before; they will do it again.
ChaseYng2005 Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 I'm going through that right now. Its not a matter of why he comes back, but why he leaves. He says that he wants to hold on to his ex for financial reasons.
C2daC Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 Hello Everyone I'm new to the forum. This topic caught my eye because I had a boyfriend who tried to get back with me after breaking up with me for another girl. Alot of people tell me I am very male-like when it comes to relationships. So my main thing with him is how he denied me my "Good-bye f***." So when he came back I basically got what I wanted and told him I don't go in reverse. I believe that we live and learn and we use every broken relationship as stepping stones to help us move on to something better. Plus breaking up with me for another girl is something I would not have forgot although I could and did remain friends with him.
jennifer1983 Posted February 17, 2006 Posted February 17, 2006 Well....if you read some of my other posts...I am going thru the same thing. Except for the fact my ex actually proposed to me...then three days later we broke up when we got into an argument, he was drunk and walked out and refused to speak to me. Trust me, the problems and reasons yall broke up will still be there...As much as it hurts now it will only get worse. I never have called him back except for this time he was the one to always call me back and he never has returned my call...I always returned his call after he blew my phone up. The thing is....before you hurt anymore...and you will if you keep on taking him back.....to let it go. Why would you want to "wait" around for him to make up his wishy washy mind? It hurts me more that I kept running back to him when he calls and now its been almost a week and he hasn't called me...yes it hurts but I am glad he didnt answer. I will cry and stress for a long while probably but the crying and stressing will one day be gone...but not if you continue to let him walk in and out of your life as he pleases.
zarathustra Posted February 17, 2006 Posted February 17, 2006 I had an ex-fiance many moons ago who always came back, then he would feel stiffled and then sing the I'm not sure you're the one. I finally realized that he is not the one for me because if he was, he would treat me with more respect than to string me along. He also did the "you're my best friend and I can't imagine if you weren't anymore". Once I said let's hang out next week and he gave me the "let me see what the guys are doing and I'll let you know"... I told him, "don't bother about letting me know because its over. Don't ever call me again, don't ever talk to me again... just don't". Then I started seeing someone a few months after. Knowing that I was with someone new, he still called. I finally hung up on him and he hasn't called since. It felt good to do that.
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