fedup82 Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 How should one overcome jealousy and trust issues with their loved one? He has a friend who is a girl. They went on a few dates before I came into the picture, but have remained just friends now. I haven't really seen anything as solid proof that there is something more between them, but he never mentioned her in the beginning (I found out for myself by looking in his phone and seeing the text messages between them, so I asked him about it) and she has told him on a sticker "I love you" but he says she doesn't mean it like that and he didn't say it back. he just said "thank you" He also always reassures me that he's not interested in her like that, she's just a friend and a great person but nothing more than that. so anyways. They work at the same place together(different parts of the store), so that's the only time I know he sees her and she'll text him usually every other day or so I think, for sure on the weekends when with me. the text messages have gotten pretty lame too like telling him she finally balanced her checkbook. Who cares???? well I guess I'm having a huge issue with this because...well I don't really know. I know he loves me and he's in a relationship with me. He never hangs out with her and plus she has a boyfriend who shes moving to a town that's like 3 hours away. Am I just being crazy??? I think I'm just jealous that they have a good friendship, that connection or whatever. I haven't seen any wierd messages for a while where he's called her babe and he tells me every time they talk or she texts him, or at least I'm sure he does. the only emails he says he gets from her are funny jokes she gets from her friends, but is it nuts for me to want to find out his email password to see if there is something he's hiding? I want to trust him though, so i'm not going to let myself stoop to that dishonest level. I think I'm just so scared to lose him and i feel threatened by this other girl even though she spends her weekends with her boyfrined and the whole "i love you" on the stupid sticker is merely innocent. i have a good guy friend I've known for a while that I can let myself say I love you to because I do, yet I know it's not that kind of love and he has called me sweety...so is it just me being insecure???
Flicker Posted February 17, 2006 Posted February 17, 2006 Hi there, Hmmm, not a great situation to be in, but not an uncommon one I think. It's happened to me and most of my friends. You know it's stupid and unhelpful to feel this way, but you can't help it, right? I think the "I love you" sticker is crossing the line. So too is texting every other day. She may have a thing for your boyfriend. Just because she is in a relationship doesn't exclude her from having a crush or whatever. I don't think you should sneak a look at your boyfriends emails - very bad idea in fact. I think you should tell him that you feel uncomfortable about the relationship and to ask him to please be careful as you feel suspicious of the girl. Another thing you could do if you really think you need to is talk directly to the girl. Or her boyfriend. Just a suggestion? In the end - it doesn't seem to be an issue for your boyfriend or this girl. Perhaps you need to just overcome these insecure feelings. After all, he is with you - not her.
Recommended Posts