MatchstickFear Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 I haven't spoken to him in two months, and he called yesterday ... to say "I love you Babe, Happy Valentines Day." That is so screwed up! Does he honestly think this is what I want to hear? Yeah, this really f***ed with my entire day. I was a complete (internal) emotional wreck, I was stupidly withdrawn, and a total social idiot. I was invited to a fun Valentine's Day themed party, but my best-friend flaked out on me, so I went alone. When I was there, I put myself in the position of the lame one - the one who doesn't engage in any activities, and who sits all by her lonesome on the couch - and this is usually NOT me (AT ALL!). The alcohol was definetely a bad decision. I only had a few drinks, but it just made me feel awkward and depressed - so I left pretty early. Now, I feel like a complete idiot. I've just moved to the area, so this party was a pretty good opportunity for me to meet people, but instead I completely blew it. The one person I knew spent the entire evening cuddled with her lover in the corner. And I was just NOT MYSELF to socialize. I shouldn't even have gone! grrr... How do I pick myself back up? I really want to meet people here, but now I feel like walking around with a paper bag on my head labeled "social retard" - I know that we all have our stupid moments, but it doesn't make it any easier! Why'd he have to call me? on VALENTINES DAY?!?
CaliGuy Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 Whatever you do, don't reply. Do you belong to a gym yet? That'd be my first suggestion. Make some friends at work and go hang out. Do you have some hobbies that would get you out meeting other people?
lindya Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 I haven't spoken to him in two months, and he called yesterday ... to say "I love you Babe, Happy Valentines Day." That is so screwed up! Does he honestly think this is what I want to hear? Yeah, this really f***ed with my entire day. Yes - it's a pity people can't keep these moments of overwhelming nostalgia to themselves. I was invited to a fun Valentine's Day themed party, but my best-friend flaked out on me, so I went alone. Good for you. That was gutsy. When I was there, I put myself in the position of the lame one - the one who doesn't engage in any activities, and who sits all by her lonesome on the couch - and this is usually NOT me (AT ALL!). The alcohol was definetely a bad decision. I only had a few drinks, but it just made me feel awkward and depressed - so I left pretty early. Everyone has nights like that sometimes. Don't be hard on yourself about it - you made the effort to go, it wasn't the greatest night of your life...put it behind you. Now, I feel like a complete idiot. I've just moved to the area, so this party was a pretty good opportunity for me to meet people, but instead I completely blew it. Not being the life and soul at a gathering where you don't really know anyone doesn't constitute blowing it. There will be other opportunities to get out and about when you're feeling more ready for it. The one person I knew spent the entire evening cuddled with her lover in the corner. And I was just NOT MYSELF to socialize. I shouldn't even have gone! grrr... No - you were right to go. Getting back in there isn't easy, but you've made the first step. It gets easier from there on. How do I pick myself back up? I really want to meet people here, but now I feel like walking around with a paper bag on my head labeled "social retard" - I know that we all have our stupid moments, but it doesn't make it any easier! Joining a sports club would be a good start. That way you're meeting people without all the emphasis being on the mating game. It's a good way of easing yourself back into things. Why'd he have to call me? on VALENTINES DAY?!? Probably because it was Valentine's Day, and he missed you. Whoever initiates a break up, if it's been a meaningful relationship then there are bound to be feelings of loss on both sides. Take that call as a sign that the relationship was meaningful to him and that he misses you. Then get back into focusing on moving on from him.
Author MatchstickFear Posted February 15, 2006 Author Posted February 15, 2006 Yes - it's a pity people can't keep these moments of overwhelming nostalgia to themselves. hehe ... yeah. Everyone has nights like that sometimes. Don't be hard on yourself about it - you made the effort to go, it wasn't the greatest night of your life...put it behind you. yes, but it certainly didn't help that some random woman i've never met came up to me, asking to take my picture and then after snapping the photo told me "i just HAD to take a picture of you! you look so pathetically alone!" ....... hmm....... i think that's about the time when i left. stupid, immature jerkface. anyway, yes - i'm very involved on campus. volunteering, and hanging out in "old lady" style sewing circles - these have really helped me through the last two months. :-D I just got hideously pushed down when my ex called me. :-(
lindya Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 yes, but it certainly didn't help that some random woman i've never met came up to me, asking to take my picture and then after snapping the photo told me "i just HAD to take a picture of you! you look so pathetically alone!" I've just checked page 96 of "Miss Manners' guide to conducting oneself in every possible social situation." Apparently the correct form, in instances such as this, is to punch the guilty party in the eye, take a picture of the damage then chuck the camera back at her whilst announcing "There's another one for your gallery of pathos, dogbreath." Never mind...you'll know next time.
Author MatchstickFear Posted February 16, 2006 Author Posted February 16, 2006 I've just checked page 96 of "Miss Manners' guide to conducting oneself in every possible social situation." Apparently the correct form, in instances such as this, is to punch the guilty party in the eye, take a picture of the damage then chuck the camera back at her whilst announcing "There's another one for your gallery of pathos, dogbreath." Never mind...you'll know next time. yes, i'll make sure to keep that as a note in my quidebook to life's weird little situations
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