funkify Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 I am 22 and was with my boyfriend for 3.5 years on and off. We broke it off many times bc I felt he wasn't making enough effort and I was losing love for him. He is very stubborn and gets easily angered at the slightest things. We also come from very different backgrounds, mine more conservative his not so, different religions/cultures etc which makes it more difficult to agree on things. But we also have an amazing love and connection for one another that just keeps us getting back together. We love each other like Romeo and Juliet - without boundaries. When we first met, it was purely electric. And the good times we had in the first 2 years were pure heaven. Unfortunately, the most recent breakup ended with him being very nasty to me resulting in my family banning our contact permanently and feeling very hurt by his actions towards me. Despite all this, we have managed to secretly stay in contact and have forgiven each other for the mean words because our love is so great. However, we are still hurt by the past and are still bitter as well as a lack of trust. Can we ever heal something that has had so many ups and downs? Especially since they have involved him saying mean words to the people I love most (my family)? Is there still hope?
Author funkify Posted February 16, 2006 Author Posted February 16, 2006 Is anyone going to reply to my thread? It would really help to get someone' opinion - I can't talk to anyone about this and I'm getting close to panic attacks.
riobikini Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 I do not mean to offend you, but as I read your post, I wanted to immediately ask if either one of you have mood swings often. And if so, were they occurring before you ever met? Just curious, for now. -Rio
CaliGuy Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 Unfortunately, the most recent breakup ended with him being very nasty to me resulting in my family banning our contact permanently and feeling very hurt by his actions towards me. Just out of curiosity, how can your family ban you from contacting someone? You're 22 and an adult. Unless of course you still live at home. And whatever advice Rio gives, listen to her.
Author funkify Posted February 17, 2006 Author Posted February 17, 2006 He has quite a bad temper, even before we met. I can honestly say I am a patient person but when someone insults me I must stick up for myself. My family didn't ban me as in threaten me if I got back with him. They just said that it was obvious how awful he makes me feel all the time, and pleaded for me not to get back with him bc things will just get worse. Yes, I do still live at home and so does he. Does that help at all?
riobikini Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 Funkify, Posting links for you from threads here in the forum which may help you. Read them from the first post in each thread to get an overview. -Rio Here they are: Reply To Poster In Abusive Relationship http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=679859#post679859 What A Partner Goes Through In An Abusive Relationship http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=679309#post679309
Author funkify Posted February 21, 2006 Author Posted February 21, 2006 Rio, Now that you mention it, he did get emotionally abusive when the mood struck him, then other times he was the best person ever. Thanks for those links. I think I am just holding onto the good times, and instantly forgiving for the bad times. I need to move on.
riobikini Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 (Smile) Good for you! Suggestion: As you move on, take some time to look at why you may have been so attracted to the 'type' of guy he is, -and, in specific regards to you- why that appealed to you. You will probably have to look more closely at who you are to discover that, -which may, also, be a good thing. Like scheduling an annual physical with your doctor, obtaining a periodical 'update' on what we know about ourselves is one of those 'necessary things'. Take care, now. -Rio
Recommended Posts