basscatcher Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 I never suspected.. OMG... Last night he gave me a 1.5 carat blue saffire ring with 4 princess cut saffires on the side and 3 diamonds on the other side in a 10 karat gold band.. OMG.... I have never, never, never, never recieved a gift like this from anyone in my life.. It is so beautiful. It is heavy. It is big.. I've never worn a ring this large before. OMG Its about the right size also... I had to share my news... OMG...
quankanne Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 what a lovely ring, Pada, and what a sweetie of a man to give that to you today. :love: :love:
Lil Honey Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 Congratulations. Tell us the details. We want details.
alphamale Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 Congratulations. Tell us the details. We want details. yes yes, what about the 4 C's? Cut, colour, clarity, carats? Are there any inclusions in the stones? What is it appraised at. Will you insure it?
kitkat826 Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 What was the setting and conversation that went along with it ?
Author basscatcher Posted February 14, 2006 Author Posted February 14, 2006 Almost time to head home from work.
Author basscatcher Posted February 15, 2006 Author Posted February 15, 2006 Gator762WOW!!! Congratulations! Thank you. quankannewhat a lovely ring, Pada, and what a sweetie of a man to give that to you today. :love: :love: He is a very sweet man in his shy, quiet, suttle, reserved ways.. Lil HoneyCongratulations. Tell us the details. We want details. I don't have much for details. I posted most of it in myspace. I wasn't expecting anything like this. I figured he would do clothes or some kind of accessory like boots or belt. When I got to his place he handed me wine and I sat down at the table. He went to the hallway closet and came back with a silver Goodman Jewelers bag and handed it to me. I was in shock I think. It felt like time froze. I never know how to react when someone does something like this for me. I have never in my life been given jewelery like this and of this kind of value.... I'm use to teenage kind of stuff and behavior. When I opened th elittle box I was speachless all I could say was OMG OMG OMG he giggled. I was in shock.. I didn't move.. Everything is kind of a blurr because all I remember is thinking OMG. I remember hearing him giggle and say it's JUST a saphire; its about a karat and a half with a huge smile on his face.. I am still stunned.. he made me finish my wine and we headed out to get a bite to eat. We headed back to his place around 9:30 and let's just say I didn't get home till 12:30 am...................... and I had to be at work by 8:00 am after I went shopping for marketing materials for work!! alphamaleyes yes, what about the 4 C's? Cut, colour, clarity, carats? Are there any inclusions in the stones? What is it appraised at. Will you insure it? I don't know anything about jewelery. The brocchures say it has a lifetime Diamond and Color Gemstone Guarantee, Mounting Guarantee, Diamond Trade-In Policy, Free Lifetime Claning and Inspections, it has a Extended Service Plan. The Desc: 10KY Created Sapphire RG R-PODHRNB S-PODHAEB P-PODHAEB I have no idea what all that means. What I do know is it is beautiful and I am in utter awe that he invested in this for me for Valentines Day at 4 months.. JadeStarVery nice pada, congrats! Thank you Jade. kitkat826What was the setting and conversation that went along with it ? Setting was his place, i was sitting at his dining room table, the conversation was I was suppose to hurry up and drink my wine so we could go to the Moose. The Olymipics were on his TV. I lit a small candle on his stove so we could have a cig.. He smelled sooo good, was freshly shaven, wearing the Dodge/hunting cap I bought him 2 weeks ago (worn it every day since he got it!!), in his Harley boots. His eyes were twinkling and he had a smile on his face most of the night.... He just handed me the bag and when I was in shock he down played it as 'IT'S JUST A SAPPHIRE." "Now if it was a DIAMOND....(he giggles here and doesn't finish his sentence and was smiling.)) That was about it.
witabix Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 Cool!! Whats cooler is that he was only wearing a hunting cap and motorcycle boots!!!
Lonestar Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 I read this in your blog I asked him "Does this mean you love me?" he repllied with a smile on his face, "You never can tell!" He gives you a ring, but can't say I love you?
Author basscatcher Posted February 15, 2006 Author Posted February 15, 2006 I read this in your blog He gives you a ring, but can't say I love you? Yep, Exactly... All my friends who have met him have expressed how shy he is. Only when he has a few beers in him does he open up.. He is really shy. He blush's so easily even after 4 months.. He gets a LITTLE frustrated when I make him make decisions where we are going to go, what were going to do, what band were going to see, etc. etc. He isn't use to sharing dominince in a relationship. He is use to a woman telling him what to do, where to go, what to buy, etc. I wont stand for that--I am not a take charge kind of person in a realtionship-I belive in being equals and that we each have a right to speak out opinions, wants, likes, dislikes and he needs to learn that his feelings and thoughts are valuable; not just the womans.. He is not a wussbag.. Maybe a bit p^ssywhipped and shy but not a wussbag.. I believe there are times when the man has to take the lead and innitiative. I believe because of his shyness and his history of being hurt/burnt saying "I love you" outloud is vulnerablity. He's not quite able to put his heart out in the open through his mouth. He shows it in all his actions. Some people are afraid to hear themselves say those words to someone and put themselves in a vulnerable position.
SmoochieFace Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 I wont stand for that... So you want him to change... what will you do if he doesn't change? Will you give him the ring back since you have said that you "won't stand for that?" Perhaps it is just his nature to be the way he is - and if that's the case then he won't change.
Art_Critic Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 Some people are afraid to hear themselves say those words to someone and put themselves in a vulnerable position. All People Pada.. not some.. I think you are making excuses for him... you need to stop it.. you may have to look back at this day someday and you might look at it with a different pair of glasses Congrats on your ring though.. i'm happy for you..
alphamale Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 Some people are afraid to hear themselves say those words to someone and put themselves in a vulnerable position. so PADA I suppose you got over that whole thing about him giving you expensive gifts and spending $$ on you
Author basscatcher Posted February 15, 2006 Author Posted February 15, 2006 So you want him to change... what will you do if he doesn't change? Will you give him the ring back since you have said that you "won't stand for that?" Perhaps it is just his nature to be the way he is - and if that's the case then he won't change. Smooch---FYI he is making decisions.. He is getting more comfortable expressing what he would like to do in our activities... He became this way because of the woman before me.. She was a dominant pushy its-her-way or she walks and ignors you kind of woman.. I can see his nature but he has been conditioned to please his woman or there is hell to pay with attitude. I am not like that. He has to adjust. Remember there is only one week between this other woman and myself so patience, understanding, gentle direction are essential for me to have. He has been in transition and he is doing fine. So you theroy he doesn't want oo or wont change is out the window. He went from a dysfunctional unbalanced unhealthy relationship into one with me where I like to talk about issues, find compromise to out problems and discuss things when making plans.. I am all about equalness and fairness. Maybe that is why he feels he can go buy me this beautiful ring.. He has told me that he knows I love him. He told me he knows I am not leaving him. He feels secure with me but he has to learn to allow his mouth to open and express what HE feels in words... He told me he has never been good with expressing himself with his words. He is a action speak louder then words kind of man and I am slowly adjusting to the way he is just like he is slowly adjusting to a balanced relationsihp that isn't one-sided...
blind_otter Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 All People Pada.. not some.. I think you are making excuses for him... you need to stop it.. you may have to look back at this day someday and you might look at it with a different pair of glasses Congrats on your ring though.. i'm happy for you.. I like that, Art. You have a gentle way of letting people know what you think. I admire that and wish I could achieve it myself!
SmoochieFace Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 Remember there is only one week between this other woman and myself... Rebound? So basically he didn't take any time out to deal with his baggage from his prior relationship and decided to go right straight into another one - with you - and so he is going to spend quality time with you working on his issues instead of spending some needed time alone doing that. All right, I am now beginning to understand how it works...
Author basscatcher Posted February 15, 2006 Author Posted February 15, 2006 so PADA I suppose you got over that whole thing about him giving you expensive gifts and spending $$ on you Not entirely.. I still feel overwhelmed when he shows up with elaborate gifts or expensive ones. Valentines Day, Birthdays, Christmas I think are normal times of gifts--even elaborate ones. But for just out of the blue stuff frequently is overwhelming. Two weeks ago he showed up with 2 pairs of boots-both pairs were Kenneth Coles. I know they are not cheap because of the brand name. Fortunately they didn't fit so he had to take them back... He knew I wore a 7 but they didn't have that and he was hoping that maybe they would still fit depending on the brand and style.. :lmao:
RecordProducer Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 I have no idea what all that means. It means: he LOVES you! I am so happy for you, you so deserve to be loved and treated the right way, Pammy!
Lonestar Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 He became this way because of the woman before me.. She was a dominant pushy its-her-way or she walks and ignors you kind of woman.. I can see his nature but he has been conditioned to please his woman or there is hell to pay with attitude. I have to wonder about this. Beware of anyone who blames the way he/she is on someone else. It's a cop out and excuse not to make changes. You are forgiving his faults because of the "evil" woman in his past.
Lonestar Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 I like that, Art. You have a gentle way of letting people know what you think. I admire that and wish I could achieve it myself! Yes, Art is smooooooth
blind_otter Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 I have to wonder about this. Beware of anyone who blames the way he/she is on someone else. It's a cop out and excuse not to make changes. You are forgiving his faults because of the "evil" woman in his past. Word.........it's a reason to have issues, but that should be motivation to deal with life differently, not a justification for defense mechanisms.
Kengne Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 Pada - congrats on the ring! Hey - is this the same guy you met a while back - who you weren't attracted to at first, but you gave it a few dates and than BAM! it hit you? If so - aren't u glad you gave him a chance?? Congrats! K.
Author basscatcher Posted February 15, 2006 Author Posted February 15, 2006 Rebound? So basically he didn't take any time out to deal with his baggage from his prior relationship and decided to go right straight into another one - with you - and so he is going to spend quality time with you working on his issues instead of spending some needed time alone doing that. All right, I am now beginning to understand how it works... Yes, if you have read some of my posts or threads you would see that I have questioned about rebounds. I have been doing research on it so I can understand it all. I believe that all things are possible if all people involved agree. He had been off and on with his x for 3 years. more off then on. He said he was soo ready to move on and get out of that dysfunction. I just take it one day at a time.. I do my best to keep an open mind and obtain knowledge about things that I need understanding in. Some rebounds work some dont. I won't know until I give it a shot. Lonestar - Blind_Otter----What I have said is my assumption from his stories and the stories from his children. I have formed my opinions about him and his X based on what I have heard and also from my knowledge of relationships from my own past of counceling, reading and education. I am very relationship oriented but at times I become a little blind and have to asked questions and step back and reevaluate.. Believe me: When I come into LS and start asking questions and wanting people opinions I am also researching my own books at home and surfing the web for more knowledge about what it is that I am questioning or want to know... Art_Critic - I form my own opinons about him why he does or doesn't do. He never makes up excuses for himself. I have never heard him make an excuse.. not yet anyways. If I am making excuses for him then its making excuses. I beleive there are times when excuses are good. I know he is scared to express himself. When I look at the info I have about his previous relationship (from him and his kids) I can see that whenever he opened himself up he got slammed.. He asked the woman to marry him 3 times and all three times she said yes and within a few weeks she broke off the engagement and said she cant give up her independance and she didn't want to have a man in her house. She didn't want to lose her freedom. She didn't want to be tied down. From what I can tell She toyed with his feelings for 3 years.. For me to say he is scared to open himself up verbally is making an excuse for him then it is and I can understand it based on knowing how he was manipulated, played with, pushed around, and put down. This is where I need to have patience and be understanding with him. He is on the rebound with me. He and I were brought together by a dating agency not by us chosing to meet each other out in the streets. When we met we didn't want to put each other on hold because we had a connection. He was honest with me from the first 2 weeks about where he stood so I knew he was freshly out of a off and on relationship. If I wasn't going to be understanding then that wouldnt make me the right person for him. Do I make sense to you?
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