Nail in the coffin...

[hurtbeyondwords]

will_d, it sucks how people can be. what helped me was realizing my ex wasnt who I had fallen in love with in the first place. That person is gone. The person I fell in love with would never say the things she said to me. When I think of her, I dont see her as I did before. Im more mad that sad now. I lost a friend but that was her choice not mine. Im gonna find people who do care about me. Dwelling is only going to make it harder. If you accept change it can guide you to some amazing people.

[will_d]

i'm accepting change... but not as easy as i want to.

 

I just hate feeling like this... i went out the other night and found myself comparing girls on looks etc... how shallow i thought... not like me at all, i guess i miss the rare attraction i had to her.

 

i will see her out with this new guy and thats what will hurt i think, i dont care about her really just see her as something which was and i hate how i am down and she is happy and yet she is the one who did this! arrrgghhh

 

annoying how people can manipulate u, i am dealing with it though, it is easing slightly. just the sleep and dreams which make it worse. i know someone is out there and i just wish that she could have been it i guess.

 

lol... mr grumpy at the mo... at least i can laugh at myself

[will_d]

i'm accepting change... but not as easy as i want to.

 

I just hate feeling like this... i went out the other night and found myself comparing girls on looks etc... how shallow i thought... not like me at all, i guess i miss the rare attraction i had to her.

 

i will see her out with this new guy and thats what will hurt i think, i dont care about her really just see her as something which was and i hate how i am down and she is happy and yet she is the one who did this! arrrgghhh

 

annoying how people can manipulate u, i am dealing with it though, it is easing slightly. just the sleep and dreams which make it worse. i know someone is out there and i just wish that she could have been it i guess.

 

lol... mr grumpy at the mo... at least i can laugh at myself

[fooled]

The dreams SUCK, dude! Every night I have a nightmare about us reconciling - then I remember all the horrible betrayal - and I can't deal with it - then I wake up at 4 and can't get back to sleep.

[will_d]

i have tried to think of something positive completely against anything she represents or anything about her before going to bed, it helps. It means that u are less likely to dream about her as your last thoughts are not on her before u fall asleep.

 

dreams like that, and what i have, are always going to be hard. deal with it as best u can. watch something relaxing and fall asleep to it is another good tip i heard.

 

Anything is worth a go fooled, it will get better, u just need to have experiences and a laugh with other women to make u feel good again, u dont have to want a relationship to have that with a women.

 

things change and i believe they will change for the better in time... so why shouldnt they change for u to?

 

feeling bad about stuff will only last so long with me... u can never keep a good guy down and u r a good guy... remember that bud.

[scobro]

This is all very good insight, Aria.

 

In my case, my ex and I had amazing sex one morning, she instigated a conversation about where we would move in together (since we had been recently talking about it) - and all the while had made plans to spend THAT SAME NIGHT with her ex-husband.

 

She is the devil.

 

Ouch!!! she is the devil.Thats got to be tough bro

[CaliGuy]

Yeah. I thought I did.

 

I scares me that I may not have the skill to tell in the future.

 

You will man.

 

Remember, a relationship that starts on fire is sure to fizzle out just as fast. Take things slow. You'll know the right woman for you when she comes along. Keep the faith.

[Ariadne]

Ancient Book of Taoism, Chapter III, Love (extract)

 

"What is love?" he asked calmly. "Are you sure about that, I wonder?"

 

"No, I am not sure," I answered. "I do not know anything about it, but that is just the reason of its great blessedness. Yes, do but let me express it! I mean: love of a maiden, love of a woman.--I remember yet, Father, what it was to me when I saw the maiden, and my soul knew delight for the first time. It was like a sea, like a broad heaven, like death. It was light--and I had been blind! It hurt, Father--my heart beat so violently--and my eyes burned. The world was a fire, and all things were strange, and began to live. It was a great flame flaring from out my soul. It was so fearful, but so lovely, and so infinitely great! Father, I think it was greater than Tao!"

 

"I know well what it was," said the sage. "It was Beauty, the earthly form of the formless Tao, calling up in you the rhythm of that movement by which you will enter into Tao. You might have experienced the same at sight of a tree, a cloud, a flower. But because you are human, living by desire, therefore to you it could only be revealed through another human being, a woman--because, also, that form is to you more easily understood, and more familiar. And since desire did not allow the full upgrowth of a pure contemplation, therefore was the rhythm within you wrought up to be wild tempest, like a storm-thrashed sea that knows not whither it is tending. The inmost essence of the whole emotion was not 'love,' but Tao."

 

"It is easy to talk thus theoretically, but seeing that you have never experienced it yourself, you can understand nothing of that of which you speak!"

 

He looked at me steadily, and laid his hand sympathetically on my shoulder.

 

"It would be cruel of you to speak thus to any one but me, young man!--I loved, before you drew breath in this world! At that time there lived a maiden, so wondrous to see, it was as if she were the direct-born expression of Tao. For me she was the world, and the world lay dead around her. I saw nothing but her, and for me there existed no such things as trees, men, or clouds. She was more beautiful than this evening, gentler than the lines of those distant mountains, more tender than those hushed tree-tops; and the light of her presence was more blessed to see than the still shining of yonder star. I will not tell you her story. It was more scorching than a very hell-fire--but it was not real, and it is over now, like a storm that has passed.

 

Calmed by his calmness, I said: "She whom I loved is dead, Father--She who culled my soul as a child culls a flower never became my wife. But I have a wife now, a miracle of strength and goodness, a wife who is essential to me as light and air. I do not love her as I even now love the

dead. But I know that she is a purer human being than that other. How is it then that I do not love her so much? She has transformed my wild and troubled life into a tranquil march towards. death. She is simple and true as Nature itself, and her face is dear to me as the sunlight."

 

"You love her, indeed!" said the sage, "but you know not what love means, nor loving. I will tell it you. Love is no other than the rhythm of Tao. I have told you: you are come out of Tao,' and to Tao, you will return. Whilst you are young--with your soul still enveloped in darkness--in the shock of the first impulse within you, you know not yet whither you are trending. You see the woman before you. You believe her to be that towards which the rhythm is driving you. But even when the woman is yours, and you have thrilled at the touch of her, you feel the rhythm yet within you, unappeased, and know that you must forward, ever further, if you would bring it to a standstill. Then it is that in the soul of the man and of the woman there arises a great sadness, and they look at one another, questioning whither they are now bound. Gently they clasp one! another by the hand, and move on through life, swayed by the same impulse, towards the same goal. Call this love if you will. What is a name? I call it Tao. And the souls of those who love are like two white clouds floating softly side by side, that vanish, wafted by the same wind, into the infinite blue of the heavens."

 

"But that is not the love that I mean!" I cried. "Love is not the desire to see the loved one absorbed into Tao; love is the longing to be always with her; the deep yearning for the blending of the two souls in one; the hot desire to soar, in one breath with her, into felicity! And this always with the loved one alone--not with others, not with Nature. And, were I absorbed into Tao, all this happiness would be for ever lost! Oh let me stay here, in this goodly world, with my faithful companion! Here it is so bright and homely, and Tao is still so gloomy and inscrutable for me."

 

"The hot desire dies out," he answered calmly. "The body of your loved one will wither and pass away within the cold earth. The leaves of the trees fade in autumn, and the withered flowers droop sadly to the ground. How can you love that so much which does not last? However, you know, in truth, as yet, neither how you love nor what it is that you love. The beauty of woman is but a vague reflection of the formless beauty of Tao. The emotion it awakens, the longing to lose yourself in her beauty, that ecstasy of feeling which would lend wings for the flight of your soul with the beloved--beyond horizon-bounds, into regions of bliss--believe me, it is no other than the rhythm of Tao; only you know it not. You resemble still the river which knows as yet only its shimmering banks; which has no knowledge of the power that draws it forward; but which will one day inevitably flow out into the great ocean."

 

Reference: here.

 

Hope you enjoyed it,

 

Ariadne

[Guest]

Once a girl gets turned off by you, there's no going back.

 

None whatsoever.

 

You can conquer the moon, and she'd still be turned off by you,

 

Ariadne

 

Not 100% true, i disagree