UT_longhorn Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 i know people have issues with sleeping after break ups. what kinds of sleeping problems do you have? I don't feel that I get a very solid nights worth of sleep. i wake up in the middle of the night and sometimes from then on its light sleep until about an hour before my alarm clock rings, where I just lay there. what kinds of sleeping issues do you have? also, i don't know if its what im eating lately, but it seems my digestive system is being very screwy these days. have any of you had that at all?
will_d Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 Hey UT_longhorn, I have been suffering from sleeping problems since my break up, 2 weeks ago. I used to be able to sleep like a log, no breaks and feel great in the morning. Now i tend to go to bed thinking about my ex... wondering about everything from what went wrong to whats she doing... feeling alone in bed, before i shake myself out of it and try to get some rest. I wake up 2 or 3 times at least in the night and manage to get back to sleep, although each time i wake up i think of my ex and have generally been having a dream where she is in it... usually smiling at me or happy that we are not together. Its not good... thats for sure, but i guess i will carry on going through this until i am happy within myself, ages yet i think! lol. your stomach is likely to be upset due to u worrying and stuff so what u are eating might not be helping, but its more likely to be u being stressed.
NTB Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 dude get trashed and you will be able to sleep like a baby at least that is what helped me
luvtoto Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 Hey UT, Sorry to hear. I went through a horrible breakup about a couple years ago. No matter how late or early I went to bed, I would still wake up at 4:00am feeling sick to my stomach. To calm my thoughts, I bought relaxation tapes of oceans, desert sands blowing, etc. That helped me alot. Also, drank chammomile sleepy time tea to help me relax. I even went to the extreme to buy a mind machine (google this if interested). They are expensive but the ultimate in relaxation!! Cheaper models don't work as well. You basically, put the headgear on...flip a switch...close your eyes and sink into a state of very deep relaxation. In a half an hour, turn off the machine and you'll feel completely alert & refreshed.
Ariadne Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 Well, The sleeping issue that I have is that I dream with him almost every single day. I dream that we are making love, I dream that I'm standing and he comes and holds me from behind, I even dream with his ex gf. WTH?! And the dreams feel so real I wake up all confused, Ariadne
will_d Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 Ariadne, i guess u fall asleep thinking of him? thats the way people will generally end up dreaming of someone else, i know i do. Also that u miss the physical closeness of him. I dont really know what to say... i miss these things with my ex as well and i think that it will pass. u just need to know that what u dreamed is a thought process... it shouldnt signify anything, just that u want to be close to someone... be confused for a few minutes but then snap yourself out of it and remember that u can have that feeling with someone again. Know that there are soo many people out there like u, your not on your own
WeaknPowerless Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 The sleep has gone from non-existant to relatively peaceful until about 5am when the dreams start kicking in. This is after 2.5 months. I have JUST re-arranged my room, bought a shoji screen (Something I've wanted for a long time), and let me tell you, it actually does help. Although the bedroom set (half of it) and the bed are all things we bought together, it's starting to feel like mine and not ours. I really reccomend some redecorating.
fooled Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 I immediately moved the bed and bought new linens. She hasn't been there for close to 6 weeks - and I still have phantom images of her getting up in the morning.
hurtbeyondwords Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 it's wierd for me. I wake up everymorning around 6. I dont remember dreaming but the thought of her is on my mind. It's strange, like shes in my head but I have no memory of thinking about her. it is getting better though.
Author UT_longhorn Posted February 15, 2006 Author Posted February 15, 2006 hurt...im the same way. i wake up exactly at a certain time every morning. i think its about 630. dont remember the dreams. the sleep is not the really deep solid sleep that i used to get. now its broken sleep. i hope this isnt something permanent.
notmakingsense Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 It will go away. For me, it took about 2.5 months, but everyone is different. Of course, now that I know I'm meeting my ex in a few days, the butterflies and poor sleep have returned. What worked for me initially was to take an over-the-counter sleeping pill for a few weeks until my body "re-learned" the habit of falling asleep and waking up normally.
LNY Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 I suffered from insomnia the first week or so after my breakup, I'd find myself laying in bed staring at the roof thinking about her. I ended up seeing a doctor, and getting sleeping tablets. (along with a whole pile of different pills, including anti-dep's ) 9 months later, I almost still think of her every time I lay in bed, but I can still manage to fall asleep and stay asleep now, without sleeping tablets.
witabix Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 Why do we surrender ourselves to this pain? These people are not worth it. You are more valuable to your selves than this. Your lives are for you to live. You will not get another one. This is not a dress rehearsal. I know this easy to say but it is true.
cal gal Posted February 16, 2006 Posted February 16, 2006 That is easy to say Wit, however when you have slept with another person for half of your life, it is very odd when they are no longer there. Especially at age 44. He is no longer my "other half." It seems very weird. I'm not saying in some ways I am not relieved - because it's nice to not wonder if he is cheating.... But I can't sleep.... when I wake up in the middle of the night sometimes I post on LS. It's odd - but there isn't anyone that can get mad at me anymore! I can take up the whole king sized bed if I so choose! he he...weird... and sad at the same time.
Author UT_longhorn Posted February 16, 2006 Author Posted February 16, 2006 another night of little sleep and today i feel like a zombie. in and out of sleep then waking up at around 6. i can't keep this up for much longer. im taking some pills around 10 and passing the F out.
mablung Posted February 18, 2006 Posted February 18, 2006 I am usually too agitated and nervous and frustrated to put myself to sleep. This leads to staying awake till 4-5 am, and getting only very little sleep most days. Some days I just don't go to work and lie in bed all day. Weekends tend to be that way, especially. I don't really sleep during these times, but I'm awake on and off, and I usually can't tell how long I've been asleep and how long awake. During "normal" nights, I tend to sleep very poorly - sweat all the time, am both cold and hot, and it's not a restful sleep at all. I used to sleep like a log too, and I never sweat in bed unless I had a cold or something. I have digestion problems as well. I feel absolutely no motivation to do anything, and that includes eating. I eat once a day, sometimes I don't eat at all. All of this is after 6 months since my wife left. We do keep in touch, quite often.
pandnh4 Posted February 18, 2006 Posted February 18, 2006 my sleeping patterns are more or less regular, though the sleep is never quite refreshing... it's been this way for the past 11 days, following the breakup, with strict nc... during the week i usually end up dosing off in front of the tv, then crawling into bed around midnite... i sometimes wake up early to strange dreams at like 6-7 am even though i don't really need to get up for work til about 7:30-8 am... on the brighter side, i'm eating fairly regularly... not necessarily healthy, but still eating nonetheless... =)
FallenAngel28 Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 I have problems falling asleep. I lay there and think about him. I wake up around 6:00am and don't really fall back asleep.
nice guy444 Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 I have had trouble sleeping too for many months, I would only get about four light hours of sleep if was lucky, i had to take some meds to help me sleep. I had many bad dreams and would wake up constantly, its really tough. The stomach issues i had as well, i would be hungry but never felt like eating, i would feel sick to my stomach. My doctor perscribed me meds for my stomach because he says all these things are stressed related. The sleeping issue i havnt solved yet but if you find an answer let me know
witabix Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 Valerian Extract, tablets available over the counter, here anyway, they have worked for me before. Not as strong as prescription med, but they worked for me. I can suffer insomnia dreadfully at times.
greenshift Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 Tips - take care of your body, and it will help take care of your mind. 1. Avoid the temptation to drink to excess. I know it's a cliche', but alcohol IS a depressant. Not only does it sap strength from your entire body, it makes you more likely to drunk dial and enter into other questionable activities. (And I do drink, but be smart. Don't binge.) 2. Exercise. The best piece of advice my counsellor gave me: Go to the gym and swim six hundred laps. When you're exhausted after 10, have a great night's rest. Plus, you'll be like, ripped, in a couple of months. 3. Diet. Lay off of sugar, caffiene, fast food. 4. Quit smoking, if you do. Inhibits oxygen flow throughout the body which has all kinds of wierd side-effects. All of these things will help you sleep, and feel better overall. And, to answer your question: I had, and sometimes still have, all of the symptoms you describe. Stress does strange things to the body. Good luck and, remember, you don't have to perfect at any of this - just do what you can.
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