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Making it through initial stages of a second chance...


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Posted

Loveshack as a community,

 

I swore to everyone over a year ago, on this very forum that I would get back my girlfriend. Through thick and thin - mainly thick, Ive had and am having my second chance.

 

We got back together over Christmas, both being involved with other people and it was absolutely perfect, besides the significant others. Now we have both broken up with the other people in our lifes. Unfortunately for her she loved or still loves this guy - she was with him for just over a year. She warned that this would happen but we felt we had no choice.

 

I understand that she wants time and I figure is fair considering the circumstances. We have both changed, me more so and for the best - she says she wants to be free of this before she gets involved in what she figures could be marriage.

 

I understand this is a difficult situation and am wondering what a proper path is in making it through these stages. Im trying to give her her space and just let her know Im there... Is this right? I figure Ive waited this long, come this far - why would I stop? Questions/Comment?

Posted

Yeah why not... You waited an entire year, only to get the I want space before marriage....

 

May as well wait another year ...

Posted
Yeah why not... You waited an entire year, only to get the I want space before marriage....

 

May as well wait another year ...

 

I'm with pippen -- it doesn't sound too encouraging. I guess I'd have to ask what you meant by "we got back together". How can you both get back together and give her space?

 

I would just keep doing whatever it is you did to get her to begin reconciling with you again. If you gave her space and time to be with her boyfriend, continue to give her space and time. If she uses the space and time to go date other men besides you, then she *still* isn't sure you're "the one." If that's the case, the odds are not in your favor -- so spend your time wisely.

Posted

RE:

 

MissingHerBad: " I swore to everyone over a year ago, on this very forum that I would get back my girlfriend......We got back together over Christmas, both being involved with other people and it was absolutely perfect, besides the significant others.....Is this right? I figure Ive waited this long, come this far - why would I stop? "

 

Cutting right to the chase: it isn't perfect.

 

You're each cheating, -this time, as much on each other as you are on your 'significant others'.

 

So it's twice as wrong.

 

Even more incredible, -you're thinking of marriage.

 

I want to ask, -a marriage based on what?

 

You ask if this is 'right'?

 

The answer to that is 'no!", it doesn't sound too 'right', to me.

 

You also sound like you hung onto this relationship by feeling somehow pressured by an imaginary or self-imposed dare, or from having to prove something to someone.

 

You remind me of the guy who's mother always said to him, " If your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do it, too, just because they did?"

 

You state that you've 'come this far', and then ask, "Why would I stop?"

 

Answer: Because there's a big effing cliff in front of you -that's why!

 

-Rio

Posted

My friend, you have an issue that I am currently experiencing myself. Although I am at the brighter end of the tunnel at this time, I can assure you that you have problems ahead of you. With out trying to highjack your thread, you need to be aware that your relationship is figuratively on a scale. As long as you are sharing her heart with someone else, you will continuously be on comparison to him. This girl is looking for what is best for her in the long term. As long as you can keep her happy the scale will be in your favor, the minute it gets a little rocky, she will question her decision. In my situation, I had to let her go completely until she realized who she truly wanted to be with and let go of the other person entirely. Believe me; you do not want to be in a relationship where you are sharing her heart with someone else. Forget about the marriage thing; solve one issue before you start another. She is not a candidate for marriage until she is mentally and emotionally completely yours.

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Posted

Well I guess all of you are right. Yesterday was Valentines. I talked to her in the morning because I had her doing some work for me and she said she would call me back after her class. I get an email after her class and it say she will call me after her next class... Low and behold I never got the call. Even worse the flowers I sent didn't get delivered yesterday because they couldn't reach her and they tried till nin. They also tried this morning beginning at 8 and no dice. So either the ex showed up to win her back or she foudn another Valentine and here I am picking up the pieces again. I hate to believe that this girl is that awfully but I suppose love is blind and shes poison :(

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