Raven1845 Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 Please don't post any replies stating that a man will not play a woman worth keeping. I've seen it done time and time again. Usually, if the man is a "player" he's not looking to "keep" ANY woman, regardless of how great she is. I am VERY curious as to why a man would "play" a woman if she is beautiful, sexy, good in bed, funny, intelligent, confident, strong, independent, etc. Why "play" a great woman?
witabix Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 All my friends that have been players have been very insecure people. They played the women who were interested, regardless of how beautiful, smart, funny they were. Its as though they cannot be genuine. As though they don't really believe the real 'them' is all that enticing, so they play games to be more 'interesting'. They never see what they are doing, missing out on some excellent potential girfriends. These guys even tend to mess with their male friends too. Hitting on their mates girls etc, trying to get 'in' before their friends hit on a girl. I have had a few friends like that, they are strange individuals when you get to know them. Insecure and frightened. Totally unable to deal with a full blown relationship and if they even get close to one they fall to pieces when she finally gets tired of the games.
hyakku Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 Those aren't players, those are just insecure guys that know how to manipulate women. Really, alot of guys bounce around women because some of them REALLY aren't interested in the woman. I've seen guys that are great with women (like hundreds of women that are attracted to them) finally find ONE great girl and stick with her. Want evidence, look at guys like David DeAngelo, Rick H, David X, etc. All supposedly "gurus" in the seduction/venusian arts community, yet almost all of them are in relationships and almost all of them CONDONE relationships. And they are what many people that don't understand things call players. Sometimes the guys aren't interested in the women, believe me if a guy is interested theres no reason NOT to keep her, unless he finds other women, or that he's dating around and that he's looking for her. Again, not to be offensive or anything, but maybe they just aren't genuinely interested. And the paradox of witabix's statement is the following: If players are all insecure and scared, why are the women attracted to them, and what do they have to fear? if they can get the woman in bed and attracted to them, there's not much else left but to keep being attractive to the woman and keeping the relationship fun.
witabix Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 Those aren't players, those are just insecure guys that know how to manipulate women. ....................... And the paradox of witabix's statement is the following: If players are all insecure and scared, why are the women attracted to them, and what do they have to fear? if they can get the woman in bed and attracted to them, there's not much else left but to keep being attractive to the woman and keeping the relationship fun. Its possible that we have different interpretations of the word 'player' in this context. Your first line is a pretty accurate description of my 'players'. Getting a woman into bed is not the end, its the beginning. What they have to fear is the fact that all they know/are interested in is getting a woman into bed.
cygny Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 Again, not to be offensive or anything, but maybe they just aren't genuinely interested. or rather, they aren't genuinely interesting. all the gurus/players i know/know of, had nothing beyond salesmanship. they didn't have any depth. they knew a few tricks, so they get out before they are 'discovered.' all the ones i know are not capable of an independent or original thought. and, everything is a game to them, including people's emotions. they love the power of being able to manipulate women's emotions and hurt women in this way. it makes them feel superior as 'men'. in the same way that some murderers feel like god.
filarena Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 I assume you're thinking if a woman has so much to offer, why does this happen to her? In my mind, the question you have to ask isn't why do great women get played, it's why do great women go for players? Players are not hard to spot. And as you say, you see time and again that they will often play a woman, no matter how good she is. I'm not just being a wiseass. I sincerely believe the answer is because people are insecure beings and we derive the greatest pleasure from being with someone we wouldn't have otherwise thought we could have. Girls want players b/c they desperately want to believe they can be the one to change him. And sometimes they are. The vast majority of the time they aren't. Players play quality girls b/c once they know they can have them, they lose interest. Players are not about the prize, but the thrill of the hunt. I'm not trying to say women are stupid and men aren't either. Plenty of men fall for women they know will break their hearts for the same exact reason.
cygny Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 a good player is a good actor, he doesn't show he's a jerk in the beginning--it's only later when he has her hooked. the player websites teach men how to say the things that will get to a woman's emotions, better than the average guy even dreams of. so in the beginning a player is often sweet and charming and complimentary, he finds out her subconscious patterns and standards for a man, then he uses that to hook her in. basically, he's a con man.
filarena Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 I said they are easy to spot. I didn't say they do it by acting like jerks. I know many players. My best friend is one of the biggest players ever. And sure, with most girls he's super charming. And there are also many girls who look at that and say wow, that's fake, he must be a player. But he also tells other girls right to their faces "I'm going to use you for sex then throw you away" and they let him b/c he was being nice for a few minutes before he said that and so they respond "I know deep down inside you're a nice guy, you just don't want to let it show". Obviously players have spent a lot of time learning how to tell girls what they want to hear. But that should set off alarm bells. Seriously, how many girls who fell for players and got burned can *honestly* say they didn't once have a friend tell them hey he seems like a player, be careful with that one? I'm not attacking women. Men really do the same with maneaters. All I'm saying is, the signs are there, we just choose to let the wool be pulled over our eyes b/c we don't want to believe what should be obvious.
cal gal Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 All my friends that have been players have been very insecure people. They played the women who were interested, regardless of how beautiful, smart, funny they were. Its as though they cannot be genuine. As though they don't really believe the real 'them' is all that enticing, so they play games to be more 'interesting'. They never see what they are doing, missing out on some excellent potential girfriends. These guys even tend to mess with their male friends too. Hitting on their mates girls etc, trying to get 'in' before their friends hit on a girl. I have had a few friends like that, they are strange individuals when you get to know them. Insecure and frightened. Totally unable to deal with a full blown relationship and if they even get close to one they fall to pieces when she finally gets tired of the games. I see the player as totally insecure and feeling inadequate in many areas of his life. He tries to over compensate with this inadequacy by working the women he meets. Thus, never really having a true relationship because he is always keeping up this fascade that is a total lie to his true inner being. If you never let anyone know the real you by keeping the sheild going, you will never let anyone into your heart to love you. BUT then again that right there might be their goal, don't let ANYONE know the real me, because they might not like me! INSECURITY at its highest level!!!!!!
konfuzd Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 A few reasons I think players play the good girls: 1- They believe in quantity over quality... they don't look past the notch in the bedpost 2- She is more of a challenge than the typical sk@nks he is used to, thus he is boosting his own ego by 'conquering' the intelligent woman 3- They are afraid of rejection... they'll string her along because it's what he wants, and knows she's a great gal, but is afraid that once she sees the real him (because he's never shown it to anyone before) she'll bolt, so he keeps his ego in tact if he's the one to turn her away Essentially, the common link is his own ego, and as the other posters have said, insecurity.
cygny Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 I said they are easy to spot. I didn't say they do it by acting like jerks. I know many players. My best friend is one of the biggest players ever. And sure, with most girls he's super charming. And there are also many girls who look at that and say wow, that's fake, he must be a player. But he also tells other girls right to their faces "I'm going to use you for sex then throw you away" and they let him b/c he was being nice for a few minutes before he said that and so they respond "I know deep down inside you're a nice guy, you just don't want to let it show". Obviously players have spent a lot of time learning how to tell girls what they want to hear. But that should set off alarm bells. Seriously, how many girls who fell for players and got burned can *honestly* say they didn't once have a friend tell them hey he seems like a player, be careful with that one? I'm not attacking women. Men really do the same with maneaters. All I'm saying is, the signs are there, we just choose to let the wool be pulled over our eyes b/c we don't want to believe what should be obvious. now you're being unrealistic--romance isn't rational-- and no the good ones aren't easy to spot. i've suspected lots of guys of being players that were not really. and no, i was not warned about some guys who turned out to be players. the worst players are the ones who you don't even have sex with, but they seduce you emotionally. when your friend does the mixed signals--it is terribly confusing to alot of women because she thinks he is joking, and her own good nature doesn't let her believe that he could really be that cruel. so most of players find their victims because the women are naive and trusting, which is not the same as being stupid. and i'm sorry that you hang out with jerks. his attitude apparently is rubbing off on you--that it's all the woman's fault.
witabix Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 now you're being unrealistic--romance isn't rational-- and no the good ones aren't easy to spot. i've suspected lots of guys of being players that were not really. and no, i was not warned about some guys who turned out to be players. the worst players are the ones who you don't even have sex with, but they seduce you emotionally. when your friend does the mixed signals--it is terribly confusing to alot of women because she thinks he is joking, and her own good nature doesn't let her believe that he could really be that cruel. so most of players find their victims because the women are naive and trusting, which is not the same as being stupid. and i'm sorry that you hang out with jerks. his attitude apparently is rubbing off on you--that it's all the woman's fault. Oh come on Cygny, you are so beautiful, no one would ever play you. I know I wouldn't, I melt when I look at your avatar. I'd like to merge the two avatars, just to see what our children would look like! (Is that the kind of thing you are talking about?)
Woggle Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 Because some people can't see that she is worth it. When men find a woman that is really worth keeping around they should do everything to make it work with her. Thos type of women are in short supply.
cygny Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 Oh come on Cygny, you are so beautiful, no one would ever play you. I know I wouldn't, I melt when I look at your avatar. I'd like to merge the two avatars, just to see what our children would look like! (Is that the kind of thing you are talking about?) haha witabix, i would love to see that child!
witabix Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 haha witabix, i would love to see that child! He he he he he he...... I'd be happy just to be present at the conception!!!!
Pyro Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 All my friends that have been players have been very insecure people. They played the women who were interested, regardless of how beautiful, smart, funny they were. Its as though they cannot be genuine. As though they don't really believe the real 'them' is all that enticing, so they play games to be more 'interesting'. They never see what they are doing, missing out on some excellent potential girfriends. These guys even tend to mess with their male friends too. Hitting on their mates girls etc, trying to get 'in' before their friends hit on a girl. I have had a few friends like that, they are strange individuals when you get to know them. Insecure and frightened. Totally unable to deal with a full blown relationship and if they even get close to one they fall to pieces when she finally gets tired of the games. Sounds about right.
Author Raven1845 Posted February 14, 2006 Author Posted February 14, 2006 All my friends that have been players have been very insecure people. They played the women who were interested, regardless of how beautiful, smart, funny they were. Its as though they cannot be genuine. As though they don't really believe the real 'them' is all that enticing, so they play games to be more 'interesting'. They never see what they are doing, missing out on some excellent potential girfriends. These guys even tend to mess with their male friends too. Hitting on their mates girls etc, trying to get 'in' before their friends hit on a girl. I have had a few friends like that, they are strange individuals when you get to know them. Insecure and frightened. Totally unable to deal with a full blown relationship and if they even get close to one they fall to pieces when she finally gets tired of the games. I agree, absolutely. Great post!
alphamale Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 Why "play" a great woman? because if you don't keep on "playing" them then they get bored and split....its all about what happened during the initial attraction phase. If she is a great woman and got involved with a player and he eventually becaomes a non-player then she'll lose interest. Its not unlike if a man marries a skinny woman and she then gains 100 lbs.
Author Raven1845 Posted February 14, 2006 Author Posted February 14, 2006 a good player is a good actor, he doesn't show he's a jerk in the beginning--it's only later when he has her hooked. the player websites teach men how to say the things that will get to a woman's emotions, better than the average guy even dreams of. so in the beginning a player is often sweet and charming and complimentary, he finds out her subconscious patterns and standards for a man, then he uses that to hook her in. basically, he's a con man. Cygny, yes! I get so much out of your posts on this subject. I always agree with you. The good ones are not easy to spot as another poster said. The good ones are good ones because they're good at what they do. Another poster mentioned that others may have warned a girl in advance about the particular guy they were interested in. In my case, I was never warned about my ex being a player. He seemed shy and sweet and charming and totally into me and my likes and dislikes. One of his female friends even told me that he was a sweet guy that treated the women he dated very well. Well, later she became better friends with me instead, and after he hurt me she said she felt really guilty for not letting me know what he was like, but that she didn't know me then. (absolutely no excuse to ever do this to another woman). I don't know how to feel about her because of that. Anyway, love your posts, Cygny! Hugs, Raven
Author Raven1845 Posted February 14, 2006 Author Posted February 14, 2006 because if you don't keep on "playing" them then they get bored and split....its all about what happened during the initial attraction phase. If she is a great woman and got involved with a player and he eventually becaomes a non-player then she'll lose interest. Its not unlike if a man marries a skinny woman and she then gains 100 lbs. hahaha . . . oh my goodness, alphamale. In my case, if he would have proven NOT to be a player, I would have stayed with him forever. I'm not one of those women that like that sort of thing or need it to stay interested. It would have been the opposite for me. Thanks for the smile.
alphamale Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 In my case, if he would have proven NOT to be a player, I would have stayed with him forever. I'm not one of those women that like that sort of thing or need it to stay interested. It would have been the opposite for me. yes indeed R1845....most women say this but their actions show differently.
Author Raven1845 Posted February 14, 2006 Author Posted February 14, 2006 yes indeed R1845....most women say this but their actions show differently. Yes, there are women out there like that. I've seen it myself. However, it truly is different with me. He wanted to keep seeing me and I said I just couldn't deal with someone who plays games with me, and I ended it. Had he stopped the games, I would have stuck around. But, it is true that there are both women and men out there that feel opposite and seem to get even more turned on by the games. So I do see your point.
SmoochieFace Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 hahaha . . . oh my goodness, alphamale. In my case, if he would have proven NOT to be a player, I would have stayed with him forever. I'm not one of those women that like that sort of thing or need it to stay interested. It would have been the opposite for me. Thanks for the smile. It always amazes me that there are so many guys who are misinformed on this subject and, as if that was bad enough, they have to continually propagate this garbage. Yes, some women actually *like* to be played - yes, those women who have low self-esteem, low maturity, or perhaps both. Or perhaps they haven't *come of age* yet and need to have more experience in *real life*. This certainly doesn't mean MOST women - I believe that the vast majority of women will not put up with this BS. Every woman I have been involved with would have left me in a flash if I engaged in that *playuh* behaviour... they were grown up and mature enough to not put up with it.
Author Raven1845 Posted February 14, 2006 Author Posted February 14, 2006 It always amazes me that there are so many guys who are misinformed on this subject and, as if that was bad enough, they have to continually propagate this garbage. Yes, some women actually *like* to be played - yes, those women who have low self-esteem, low maturity, or perhaps both. Or perhaps they haven't *come of age* yet and need to have more experience in *real life*. This certainly doesn't mean MOST women - I believe that the vast majority of women will not put up with this BS. Every woman I have been involved with would have left me in a flash if I engaged in that *playuh* behaviour... they were grown up and mature enough to not put up with it. Absolutely!
alphamale Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 Every woman I have been involved with would have left me in a flash if I engaged in that *playuh* behaviour then you must not have much going for you....true players have much to offer a woman....thats how they get away with it, they are in demand.
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