riobikini Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 RE: W&P: " I'm beginning to feel that my maturity isn't what I think it is, and what I portray to others." Something my dad used to tell me: "Never mistake kindness for weakness". And something else from me: " Sometimes we are what we think we are, until we can think of something better". (Smile) And I think you're a gem. Really, I know you're going to be OK, -and you, too, Whisnimz, CalGal, Fooled. -Rio Link to post Share on other sites
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 I'm just so bothered that she said everything right - she did everything right for months. Until the end - when her actions didn't back up her words. But by then, I was totally in love. I didn't even suspect anything until November. She is a totally professional liar. Knows the psychology of men completely and takes advantage of it. I'm afraid of finding someone else like that - who I won't discover until too late. Exactly!!! You hit the nail right on the head, Fooled. At least with other men I've loved, I had some red flags...some warnings...that I shouldn't fall in love with them, but did so against my better judgment. This time around, I had no warning. He did and said all the right things. And then I cautiously fell in love. When I finally let my guard down, I really gave him all my trust. And then months later things turned. He turned. I didn't see it coming. Not at all. As good as I've been about not looking out the window to see if his light is on at night, I think tonight will be different. I just have to make sure that he's not out with someone else on this day that he assured me, just days before he dumped me, would be ours. Not that if he was, there would be anything I could do about it. I'm going out to have coffee at a quite shop with my mom later tonight. I think it's the only safe place I can go where I won't run into too many couples drooling over each other. Link to post Share on other sites
fooled Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 The buddy that was going to come over tonight and hang out just cancelled. It's just any other night. It's just any other night. It's just any other night. Link to post Share on other sites
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 The buddy that was going to come over tonight and hang out just cancelled. It's just any other night. It's just any other night. It's just any other night. Oh, gosh... I'm so sorry. See....this is why we need The Breakup Cafe. But since I can't meet ya at the cafe to lend you a shoulder to cry on.... will this do? Link to post Share on other sites
fooled Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 You are good, Jen. Very, very good. Link to post Share on other sites
cal gal Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 I guess the best thing, fooled, at this point is to turn on some awesome music and be resting early.... maybe read to take your mind off of everything, reading can take you anywhere! I really do feel like my heart is heavy for you right now..... Link to post Share on other sites
cal gal Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 PS I'm listening to John Mayer right now - then Fleetwood Mac.... Link to post Share on other sites
cal gal Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 ooops - wrong as the cd just changed over to Steely Dan. Actually one of my favorites! Music, reading, computer all at the same time, it's all good..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author coasting Posted February 15, 2006 Author Share Posted February 15, 2006 That sucks, fooled........I am so sorry! I ordered out and took all of three bites. Watched a bit of TV and fell asleep, only to be woken up a few moments ago by the phone,,,,,,,The person on the other end must have thought I was on drugs because it took me a good five minutes to get my bearings to realize who I was talking to. I actually thought when I first woke up that Rob was in the other room.....but then lately I have been doing that quite a bit....I talked to my counselor today as well and asked her why all of a sudden after three months is this happening and she told me it was me getting stronger. I have no clue as to how this is me getting stronger, when all's it does is make me cry......A couple of more hours and the day will be gome! Link to post Share on other sites
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 You are good, Jen. Very, very good. Thank you -- so are you. I don't have a big ego or anything, but I really think that many of us here...you...and me included...deserve so much better than the way we were treated in these relationships. How are you feeling right now? Tell us... get it out of your system. Sometimes the best thing to do is vent. Link to post Share on other sites
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 PS I'm listening to John Mayer right now - then Fleetwood Mac.... Oh my. I can't listen to any music anymore. It all makes me cry. Especially anything by John Mayer.....or Fleetwood Mac's Silver Spring or Landslide. Link to post Share on other sites
Milo Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 I went straight to a movie after work and had a blast. Yet another guilty pleasure, "Underworld - Evolution." I and one other person were the only people in the theater. And yes, it was nice seeing Kate Beckinsale. Now I'm at the house eating chocolates and drinking beer. That's my idea of a good solo Valentine's Day. I hope you guys all found something to comfort you just a little today, be it ever so small. Link to post Share on other sites
cal gal Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 I went straight to a movie after work and had a blast. Yet another guilty pleasure, "Underworld - Evolution." I and one other person were the only people in the theater. And yes, it was nice seeing Kate Beckinsale. Now I'm at the house eating chocolates and drinking beer. That's my idea of a good solo Valentine's Day. I hope you guys all found something to comfort you just a little today, be it ever so small. You are a love Milo... XO Link to post Share on other sites
LawGirl Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 I hope you guys all found something to comfort you just a little today, be it ever so small. I got four valentines cards in various shapes and forms. Two little bitty kiddie ones, one homemade one and one store bought one with a hand-written sentiment that made me cry. All from FEMALE co-workers. All knowing it is going to be a tough day for me. And - although there wasn't anything for me from the ex..... even though I kinda hoped there would be - it was not soo small to get these cards. Made me feel rather loved and special. And best of all - I got a lovely hug from my daughter. Link to post Share on other sites
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 His car is not home. Lights are out. So therefore he is out. EFFING BASTARD! I'm drunk. And I don't care. I sent him an email. Link to post Share on other sites
fooled Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 Oh drunk Jen! I would have done the same. My friend actually bailed on me because he hurt his shoulder & couldn't drive - so I went over there. Just got home. I'm feeling jealous tonight. and sad. And even though she was a monster, I wish she was here right now. Right this second. I was talking to an ex of mine - we are extremely good friends now - about Heidi She said that she wasn't really even that pretty. I told her I know - in the beginning - and then I just saw her as more beautiful and got turned on every time I saw her. Heidi was terrified of getting old -she was only 28 but looked mid 30's. She obsessed about it. She told me in 20 years I'm just going to dump her for someone younger. I won't want someone with wrinkles and saggy boobs and grey hair. I told her "In 20 years - in 50 years, what won't change are your big, beautiful brown eyes. I'll never get tired of looking into them." I started crying of course and that started my ex crying -and she said she longs for someone to say something like that to her - I never did - and I must have just grown up and been ready. And Heidi was there to worm her way in. So I'm sad now Jen. And sober because I don't drink anymore. And I miss her big beautiful brown eyes. Link to post Share on other sites
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 oh my god, big beautiful brown eyes. oh that is so sweeeeeeeeeet. i remember when my husband used to say that to me. He called me doe eyes and he'd wake me up by kissing my closed eyelids. i just want to cry and cry, which makes my eyes look like a swollen mess for hours. i can't stop thinking about what he must be doing. who he must be doing. who is she. is she prettier. is she lovely. where is he at. i'm going absolutely mad. Link to post Share on other sites
LawGirl Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 His car is not home. Lights are out. So therefore he is out. EFFING BASTARD! I'm drunk. And I don't care. I sent him an email. BIG hug darlin. You need it. (What did the email say?) Link to post Share on other sites
LawGirl Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 Hugs to you to Fooled. Big group hug to all of us LS peoples. (Damn - I really miss the intimacy.) Link to post Share on other sites
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 BIG hug darlin. You need it. (What did the email say?) thank you LG. (((hugs back))) the email said: "How's your date going? Did you get her flowers? A few cards, perhaps?" He used to bring me lots of cards. so many that i bought a special box for them. But i left it at his house and he won't give them back. I want them back da**it! he's just being cruel in keeping them. just doing it to hurt me. Link to post Share on other sites
fooled Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 Is the ex that lives next door your ex husband? Or a different ex? Thanks for the hug, Lawgirl!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 Heidi was terrified of getting old -she was only 28 but looked mid 30's. She obsessed about it. She told me in 20 years I'm just going to dump her for someone younger. I won't want someone with wrinkles and saggy boobs and grey hair. I told her "In 20 years - in 50 years, what won't change are your big, beautiful brown eyes. I'll never get tired of looking into them." soounds like she is very insecure. it drives me nuts that some of the prettiest people are so insecure about their looks. always looking for affirmation. and what the heck is so wrong about wrinkles and gray hair anyway? it can be really sexy on the right person, especially if you love them. i'm 32 and maybe if i had wrinkles i'd feel differently, but probably not. there must be some reward for staying out of th e sun. now i'm rambling. drunk rambling. Link to post Share on other sites
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 Is the ex that lives next door your ex husband? Or a different ex? Thanks for the hug, Lawgirl!!!!! nope. differnt ex. ex-hubby is living in my old house with his new kid and obese whore who he cheated on me for because i couldn't give him a kid. Link to post Share on other sites
fooled Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 Drunk Jen is funny! It's well established that my ex has self-esteem issues. She was constantly saying I am going to dump her for a 19 year old. Ridiculous. Link to post Share on other sites
UT_longhorn Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 many drinks in my system. i love the shack. be good to yourselves. hurt, but trying. Link to post Share on other sites
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