hurtbeyondwords Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 ok, not sure if anyone has read my previous threads, just know that it's similar to a lot of others. My gf decided to break up with me 1.5 months ago. I was devestated but also "woke up". I realized that I really dont want to be with someone that does not feel the same for me as I do for them. she broke my heart and Im ready to move on no matter how important she was to me. Then...I met an amazing girl saturday and Im still smiling. Its been a long time since someone has made me feel this good about myself. I can't get her out of my head! the twist.. she's going through the exact same thing as me. almost teh same amount of time etc. Anyways.. I would love to get to know her but Im afraid of a double rebound. Im willing to be patient and take things slow. How should I aproach this? any ideas?
Author hurtbeyondwords Posted February 13, 2006 Author Posted February 13, 2006 anyone? any advise would help, Ive never done this before.
will_d Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 Hey hurtbeyondwords, Its nice to know that u feel that your worth more again and that u have met someone, i bet it makes u feel more confident etc. I havent been through the whole rebound thing, all i would say thou is this: Dont fall head-over-heels too quickly, you'll hurt even more if it doesnt work out like u want it to. Chat to this girl, if she is going through something similar u have to watch that either of u is just doing it because u want to be close to someone again, not because u want them for who they are... at this stage u dont know for sure so take it easy and think outside of the box... what do you like about her especially from any other girl, not just what being with someone does for u e.g. a person for support is what u want, but this type of support has major faults when u have been feeling low. rebounds, from what i have learnt, tend to not work because it is too intense and people are afraid or they are in it to try to feel what they had with an ex... the wrong reason. if i was u i would take it VERY slow, see her by just getting to know her, explain to her what u feel about not wanting to rush things, she should understand that. my head says to leave it... your not ready... u need more time to clear yourself of baggage... but my heart wants someone to at the mo, who can make me feel good so? Whatever u do dont do what i did with my ex, get too intense too quickly between u, feeling that she is amazing etc and that she can make u happy at this stage is dangerous. it really hurts when the wheels come off and u are let down again. Think that it might not work out as a mechanism for protecting yourself... its a risk so dont be stupid... it could do u more harm than good, be careful!
Author hurtbeyondwords Posted February 14, 2006 Author Posted February 14, 2006 will_d to the rescue again:) there are many reasons that I like this girl. Ive done a lot of thinking and Im sure it's not just for comfort. I have more in common with her then I ever did with my ex. I just wish I knew how she feels about things. At this point all I want to do is talk to her and feel things out. Im definatly prepared to take this slow. if all I get out of this is my self esteem back then Im doing ok
will_d Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 lol... don't know about coming to the rescue bud! (smile) When was the last time u spoke to her? its good that u think u have some things in common. send her a txt or something maybe to see if she wants to meet up for a drink, always best to make light of it at the moment or u could appear too interested if u know what i mean. i agree that getting your self esteem bac is the main thing... but these things can also do the reverse as well depending on how things go. so i guess meet her again... and get a better feeling on things?
Author hurtbeyondwords Posted February 14, 2006 Author Posted February 14, 2006 I havent talked to her since sunday. I didnt want to be over eager. the way I see her right now is a possible good friend. of course I am also attracted to her but just hanging out would be cool. she seems to have her sh*t together so Im not too worried about her moving too quickly either. It is driving me nuts that I dont have her number right now. maybe thats a good thing though. she is friends with my roommates gf so I can get it anytime. I dunno, I think that Im way too worried about a rebound to mess anything up. Im just gonna go with the flow and hope for the best
will_d Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 Maybe ask your room mate whether she has said anything to his GF? just hanging out, making u feel happy being around a girl again 1-on-1 is a really good idea. going with the flow is what u should do. but make sure u see her soonish so that u can chat again, maybe with friends as well so its more informal than a drink.
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