Marielle Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 I ve been with him for almost a year. Before going out with him, 8 mo. before, I dated his friend from work, not he's best friend, but a friend. THe thing is he said to my now xbf that he slept with me, so during our relationship he would sometimes bring the subject about my previous R with the friend, I always denied the sleeping part...He's an extremely jealous guy, specially concerning my past. Last night he could not take it anymore and asked me to tell him the truth, If I really slept with him, wich I was still saying no. THen he said the only way this R can wor k is if he knows the truth, for that he wanted me to confront his friend, and have a conversation the 3 of us (wich would have been a didaster) so I spilled the truth. Then he said he always loved me, but know he can't face it anymore and wants this relationship to end....I am beyond destroyed!!!!!Till yesterday we had a very loving and passionate story, he said he adored me and would never leave me...I 'm dying. Anychance this is just an attack he's having? that he will rethink his decision? He was crazy about me...please help me
bluechocolate Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 I'm a bit confused here. Are you saying that your b/friend is mad because you slept with previous b/friend? If so, then he is being completely unreasonable & you're probably better off without him.
Author Marielle Posted February 13, 2006 Author Posted February 13, 2006 well, they are friends...and the fact that I always denied it, and hide it from him, made him mad. He kind of cornered me to say it this time...he told me that if we have a caonversation the 3 of us, it's the only way he can put it in the past. OR I can admit the true, that he will perfectly understand- (it was a tramp) I did admited finally, and he said that I m the woman he loved the most in his life, his heart is broken, but he cannot continue with me knowing that I slept with his best friend in the past I don't know what to so, I m crying all the time, can't eat!!!!!!!!!!!!
witabix Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 Why did you feel you had to deny sleeping with this guy? As they are friends of some sort it was always going to come into play one way or another. How old are these people?
bluechocolate Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 Denying it wasn't very smart, but he's rather naive to assume that you didn't sleep with your previous b/friend. He's an extremely jealous guy, specially concerning my past. Not a good sign. that he will perfectly understand- (it was a tramp) What does that mean? - it was a tramp?
Author Marielle Posted February 13, 2006 Author Posted February 13, 2006 I was a tramp (my english is bad) maybe trap, or a trick? He said that if he knows the truth he's willing to put it in the past and work in the realtionship, and if it was not truth I would need to have a conversation with the 2 of them and deny it in his face....so I had no chioce to admit it. hats where he dump me. I realy love him too much, maybe he's too emotional and will realize it's part of my past. Or maybe he thiks I am a slut?!
bluechocolate Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 Tramp is the right word - though that is not what I think you are. He's willing to put it in the past? Look, aside from lying about it, which is quite understandable really, you did nothing wrong. Nothing. You need to apologise for the lie but not the deed. I get the feeling that if he comes back this is something which he will use against you in the future. I think you need to seriously consider if he is the right man for you.
witabix Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 Tramp is the right word - though that is not what I think you are. He's willing to put it in the past? Look, aside from lying about it, which is quite understandable really, you did nothing wrong. Nothing. You need to apologise for the lie but not the deed. I get the feeling that if he comes back this is something which he will use against you in the future. I think you need to seriously consider if he is the right man for you. Yes overall I agree with Blue, not telling the truth was perhaps not the smartest thing to do. But its your life Marielle, bon chance!
Author Marielle Posted February 13, 2006 Author Posted February 13, 2006 Thanks for your input... THis sucks cause I really love him, and a think he does...he was extremelly deppressed when all this happenned last night. I can't live without him, he's the love of my life.... Is the anything I can do to win him back? Anything I can say????? or isit over?
witabix Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 Thanks for your input... THis sucks cause I really love him, and a think he does...he was extremelly deppressed when all this happenned last night. I can't live without him, he's the love of my life.... Is the anything I can do to win him back? Anything I can say????? or isit over? I don't know for sure. If your feelings ar that strong for him, then there is always a chance. You must realise though that whatever is going on in his head is his issue. He may have a view that your unwillingness to tell him something (regardless of how any of us feel about its relevance) is something he cannot accept. You must also consider how you feel about being with someone who insists on knowing these kinds of things. If you do not both share the same outlook on these issues then there are bound to be difficulties. I think you should let some time pass and see if you really do have such deep feelings, or if it is just infatuation.
Author Marielle Posted February 13, 2006 Author Posted February 13, 2006 My feelings for him are really strong, I love him to death, but I think the fact that in the past I slept with his friend -and me denying it all this time, is too much for him...he says it's burning inside of him, he says he never loved and suffered so much for a woman (even his friends confess that they never saw him like this, so in love) Last night when we broke up, he admitted he doesnt love me anymore, when till the night before he wouldn't stop expressing that he's madly in love with me and he can't live without me. I can't accept the fact that he wont be in my life anymore...what can I do, can I do something? I feel empty and shocked. Will he forget and call me????
Outcast Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 You don't need a guy in your life who's that jealous. No matter how much you may love him, he'll make your life miserable with his jealousy. Now maybe if he were to get counselling and change his ways, he'd be a good deal but as he is, you're much better off without him.
Author Marielle Posted February 13, 2006 Author Posted February 13, 2006 I just text messaged my friend at work (we all work toghether, but I don t work today) I told her we broke up and she said yes I know, he told me. To what I asked her if he was fine, she said NOOOO he was very upset about it. Is it an indication that there could be hope??????
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