mombo01Guest Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 I have just found out that my wife is cheating... again. It happened the first time about 3 years ago. She was cheating with a guy from her work. He moved in 2 weeks after I moved out. It didn't last and when she broke up with him I got back with her. We got back together for about a year and 1/2. I just found out she is doing the same thing with another guy form work. We are at the point that she talks to him on the phone (her cell) constantly. We have two kids (7 and 5). I am a mess. I have never communicated via the internet before. All my friends (and our mutual friends) want me to fight her in court, they feel she is unfit. I just want to protect my kids. any suggestions?
Bryanp Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 Hello, I think you should be listening to your friends. She has done this before and now again. What kind of role model is this for your children. Are you going to wait until you get an STD from her. Clearly she has total disrespect for you and does not mind humiliating you in this manner. If you do not have respect for yourself then who will? Listen to your friends and see a lawyer now to understand your legal and financial options.
Moose Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 Document everything!!!! No matter how insignificant it may seem to you.....write it down!!
Chump64 Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 Did you two go through marriage counseling the first time around? If not, you should definitely think about that right now. Her behavior is not acceptable. I am dealing with the fallout of an affair right now. My husband has (allegedly) ended it, but one thing that is clear to him is that this reconciliation is a one-time offer. I will not do this again, ever. You need to think about setting some ground rules with your wife. She needs to stop this, and if she starts it up again, you need to dump her. I don't think a parent can be declared "unfit" based on infidelity. Most of the time, even people who are guilty of physical spousal abuse cannot legally even be declared unfit for parenting, unfortunately.
whichwayisup Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 I agree with Moose, start getting it all down on paper. You would think she learned the first time around and wouldn't do this again. Sorry it's happening to you and your kids again. Is she aware that you know? And also, this OM - Is he married as well? The other option here is to TELL the OM's wife about your wife and her husband. That WILL stop the affair from continuing. Keep posting and definately talk to a lawyer, just to find out what your options are.
tweldy Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 The children have been hurt by this new affair whether they know it or not. They have seen their father move out and some stranger move it before, that must have been hell for them. Now their mother is not giving her time to the family, she's having a fling instead. You may be able to win custody in this case, assuming you look pretty good on paper. Do you drink or do drugs? That will come up. Have you had an affair? That will come up. Even if you take an anti-depressant b/c you were depressed when she cheated and dumped you the first time will come up. Every personal aspect of you life will be put on the table if you seek custody. As for unfit - just affairs probably won't do it, but it sounds like you're the better parent for custody. Even if you wind up hating her guts, maybe she can still be a good parent despite her lousy job as a spouse. If so, the kids deserve to have a mom and you'll have to cope with occassionally seeing her. I feel for you, this is a terrible thing to go through.
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