brooke7777 Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 I am utterly and completely confused and I have know idea what to do...so any advice is greatly appreciated. My ex and I broke up at the end of the summer and have remained in contact ever since. We've had periods of NC, but none longer than 5 or 6 weeks. I had a huge emotional breakdown in front of him right before Christmas and basically pleaded for him to come back, not the smartest idea, but it just kind of happened. Since the beginning of the year, things have started to look up. We started talking more. And recently we've talked several times a week. Anyways, we met up on Thursday night for dinner which turned into us closing down the bar. We then proceeded to go to his car to continue to chat. It was just like old times. The conversation flowed really well and we seemed to hit it off. So as I went to leave, we hugged goodbye and all of the sudden were engaged in a hot and heavy make out session. After a while he basically said that whatever happens, happens and he didn't want to mess with my head. He then asked what I was doing over the weekend. I told him I was meeting friends out at a bar on Saturday but he was more than welcome to come. He said he would definitely like to come and to give him a call. So the next day he imed me and asked if i was ok with everything that happened and i said yeah. He again said whatever happens, happens. Not too sure where he is going with that. So Saturday rolls along and there is a huge snow storm, so there is no going out. We end up talking on the phone for a while and again today. So now I'm lost. Not sure what he's thinking or where this is going. I'm trying to tell myself to take it one day at a time and see what happens. IT's jsut that there is such a strong connection between us. Whenever we talk there is just such chemistry, like it used to be, except that of course we're not together. He initiated the kiss and he has been consistent with contacting me. Before it was always me that did the contacting and now its more mutual. The hard part is that he is moving across the country in a few weeks for 6 months to a year. He has consistenly said that I need to come visit him and that I need to come out more than once. Mutual friends have told me he is miserable without me. The hard part is knowing where this is actually going. Is he actually trying to win back my affection? Is he just playing mind games? What am I supposed to be doing? I know I am not over him in the least bit and my ultimate goal is for us to reunite. But of course I want it to be on his own doing, not because he feels sorry for me. I have done my best to chalk myself up and make myself seem like I am doing just fine without him...when in reality I'm just doing ok. Sure I'm going out and trying to have fun, but I still long for his love and companionship. I feel like he is my soul mate. I just don't know if I'm doing the right thing or what I should be doing. Or even if there's anything that I could be doing to aid in the process of us possibly reconciling. Any advice is welcome. Thanks in advance.
AltplanB Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 id say let him call you. Dont wait around though... The less available you are while still maintaining contact the better.
pippen_2k Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 I am utterly and completely confused and I have know idea what to do...so any advice is greatly appreciated. My ex and I broke up at the end of the summer and have remained in contact ever since. We've had periods of NC, but none longer than 5 or 6 weeks. I had a huge emotional breakdown in front of him right before Christmas and basically pleaded for him to come back, not the smartest idea, but it just kind of happened. Since the beginning of the year, things have started to look up. We started talking more. And recently we've talked several times a week. Anyways, we met up on Thursday night for dinner which turned into us closing down the bar. We then proceeded to go to his car to continue to chat. It was just like old times. The conversation flowed really well and we seemed to hit it off. So as I went to leave, we hugged goodbye and all of the sudden were engaged in a hot and heavy make out session. After a while he basically said that whatever happens, happens and he didn't want to mess with my head. He then asked what I was doing over the weekend. I told him I was meeting friends out at a bar on Saturday but he was more than welcome to come. He said he would definitely like to come and to give him a call. So the next day he imed me and asked if i was ok with everything that happened and i said yeah. He again said whatever happens, happens. Not too sure where he is going with that. So Saturday rolls along and there is a huge snow storm, so there is no going out. We end up talking on the phone for a while and again today. So now I'm lost. Not sure what he's thinking or where this is going. I'm trying to tell myself to take it one day at a time and see what happens. IT's jsut that there is such a strong connection between us. Whenever we talk there is just such chemistry, like it used to be, except that of course we're not together. He initiated the kiss and he has been consistent with contacting me. Before it was always me that did the contacting and now its more mutual. The hard part is that he is moving across the country in a few weeks for 6 months to a year. He has consistenly said that I need to come visit him and that I need to come out more than once. Mutual friends have told me he is miserable without me. The hard part is knowing where this is actually going. Is he actually trying to win back my affection? Is he just playing mind games? What am I supposed to be doing? I know I am not over him in the least bit and my ultimate goal is for us to reunite. But of course I want it to be on his own doing, not because he feels sorry for me. I have done my best to chalk myself up and make myself seem like I am doing just fine without him...when in reality I'm just doing ok. Sure I'm going out and trying to have fun, but I still long for his love and companionship. I feel like he is my soul mate. I just don't know if I'm doing the right thing or what I should be doing. Or even if there's anything that I could be doing to aid in the process of us possibly reconciling. Any advice is welcome. Thanks in advance. I'll tell ya what you should be doing Brooke! You should be spending less time stressing over this guy, and spending more time racking out them miles training for your Marathon. I guarantee you the sense of achievement you will get after you successfully complete the race, will far outweigh anything this guy has to offer. Good Luck and happy trails on the road to the Rock n Roll Marathon
Author brooke7777 Posted February 14, 2006 Author Posted February 14, 2006 Thanks Alt and Pippen. It's just real hard not to focus my energies on this. So we talked again tonight for about an hour, just small talk. I'm trying to play it real cool, like I am doing just fine whether or not he is in my life. We kindof ended it by saying we'll talk later during the week and maybe hang out. This is just so hard. I feel like things are finally starting to look up and now I have no idea what to do. I just wish I knew what to do to make things work out. It's so hard being in this position...patience is not my friend right now. As for the marathon training...I have developed quite a nasty cold that is mostly in my chest so training is on temporary hiatus. but you're right, that will definitely be an accomplishment...however, it will be one that he will be a part of...he's already told me he's coming to cheer me on and this was on his on volition. Tomorrow's (actually today at this point) gonna be a rough one for many of us. Hang in there everyone, I will be all of your Valentines!
AltplanB Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 i wouldnt hang out with him. I would just cut everything until you heard the words you really want to hear...that he wants you back. Trust me its the only way. Anything else and your just hearing what you want to hear. If he says he wants to hang out, it does not mean he necessarilly wants you back. If you aren't sure why he keeps wanting to chill and remain in contact, ask. Guys dont like games, we like to be direct.
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