whichwayisup Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 I know this story is legit Teacooler...
Author RedRose73 Posted February 13, 2006 Author Posted February 13, 2006 yes tea, whichway, is correct. this story is legit. Its been going on for years & everyone here knows. They all told me how it was going to pan out, but i thought my relationship was different from the other MM. My MM loves me too much to just lead me on. All the members here told me , i just didn't want to hear it. So i do have to say " you all were right." Tea i wish this was a joke, i wish i wasn't going threw all this pain, i wish it was a made up story, but its not, this is my life right now!!
Author RedRose73 Posted February 13, 2006 Author Posted February 13, 2006 Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. I just HOPE to god that my MM doesn't send me roses to my work. That is the last thing i want to see. I guess if he does I would always give them to a friend. We haven't talked in 5 days now, do u think he will have the Ba**s to send me flowers after all this? I really hope not!!
Shark Skin Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 No he doesn't love you! He won't make a commitment to you but you think he loves you? Wow, you are blind. I think 2 years is way long enough to decide what he wants, and obviously he has done that. I know it won't be easy but it's time to cut ALL ties with him and get on with your life.
whichwayisup Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. I just HOPE to god that my MM doesn't send me roses to my work. That is the last thing i want to see. I guess if he does I would always give them to a friend. We haven't talked in 5 days now, do u think he will have the Ba**s to send me flowers after all this? I really hope not!! Out of respect for you he shouldn't be opening that door and sending you ANYTHING tomorrow. If he does, throw them away. And if he talks to you all you have to do is be strong and say to him,"You crossed the line and don't ever do anything like this again. It is over." That is all, you don't owe him anything else. HE knows what is what. If he is stupid enough to send you roses at work, he's a complete idiot. Uhmm, shark skin, I think the poster is fully aware it is over. She wants it to be over too.
newbby Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 Hello again! It sounds as though you are now realising how disgusting your exmm is. This is good. It is also what happened to me with my exmm. Before that I could not see it at all. Once this starts happening, the spell is broken. Well done, for leaving.
Author RedRose73 Posted February 13, 2006 Author Posted February 13, 2006 Hello Newby Yes I am realizing how bad my MM was for me. I did leave & that was the first big step. I changed all my phone numbers that is the 2nd big step. So I am going in the right direction here. The pain i feel in my heart, is just SO unbearable. I was at work & my heart was pounding out of my chest, I felt nausous all day long. I know this is part of the grieving process, but i am having a very difficult time with it. Wow & to think the "man of my dreams' caused all this blows my mind. He didn't love me, he only loved himself.
newbby Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 the first month is the worst. the second is a little better. the third you are nearly there. so you have already got halfway through the worst part. the only way is up.
scarletletter Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 What a bad situation. Kinda sounds like what I am going through but I have not been in the relationship as long as you were. I don't know if I could do it for 3 years, yet MM expects me to do it for 6 more...until his kids are gone. I totally agree with you, if he loved you enough...he would make it happen. You made the smart decision, as bad as I can only imagine that it hurts. Some here will not give you much sympathy, but I do understand that the love is real, but there is a big step that he has to take to make it happen. Men are lazy, they don't want to work at things. They are just content to be at home with a wife that they don't love as to go through the trouble of getting rid of her. It also means that he is going to lose the relationship with her family as well, which is a hard pill for most to swallow also. I'm praying for you and hope you recover. What is that saying??? It applies here...If you love something, set it free, if it comes back to you then it is yours, if not, then it never really was. Something like that, but you get the point. Good luck.
Allegrokw Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 i find it interesting that there was a controversial OW thread the other day, and all of a sudden all these new members pop up who have these textbook cases of "married men will never leave" and "i walked away" and "i want my married man and don't care who knows it" threads............................ hrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmm. Hey Tea - go somewhere else to bash. We are hurting, and we are real people. Why don't you find a "hurting wife" page to bash on.
erika2610 Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 Hey Tea - go somewhere else to bash. We are hurting, and we are real people. Why don't you find a "hurting wife" page to bash on. Sometimes I think people take things the wrong way. I don't think TeaCooler was 'bashing'. Just thought RedRose was another member another a different name..
mopar crazy Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 Good for you RedRose! I'm so proud of you! I know it has to hurt. You spent 3 years w/ this MM. That is a lot of time and it's going to be hard getting over him but you can do it. You can and will find a great SG to spend your life w/, get M, and have children, which I know you really want. Hang in there sweety and keep up w/ the IC and post any time. GL!
newbby Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 Sometimes I think people take things the wrong way. I don't think TeaCooler was 'bashing'. Just thought RedRose was another member another a different name.. i agree erika, i dont think she was bashing at all!
erika2610 Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 i agree erika, i dont think she was bashing at all! And I think I see now why some people don't like to post here.. because people think they're bashing when they're really not.
newbby Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 yeah, that whole argument just came back to me too:o i might go and apologise to lishy now. and allegro, this isnt a bash at you at all:love: , i know you are feeling emotional and edgy at the moment, its just that me and erika just spent a few days arguing with somebody saying that they get attacked in the ow forum for bashing, when they are not. now we see what they mean. i wonder why this happens:confused:
erika2610 Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 yeah, that whole argument just came back to me too:o i might go and apologise to lishy now. and allegro, this isnt a bash at you at all:love: , i know you are feeling emotional and edgy at the moment, its just that me and erika just spent a few days arguing with somebody saying that they get attacked in the ow forum for bashing, when they are not. now we see what they mean. i wonder why this happens:confused: We never came to an agreement as to why it happens. I just know that like I said, I've seen many people in the Personal Rants section talking about OW.. and they're afraid to post here because the girls get very defensive. Girls, there aren't alot of people that come here and bash. Just because they don't agree with you, doesn't mean they're bashing you. Some people are just very blunt. Doesn't mean they're attacking you, just means they didn't think about the most sympathetic way they could put it. Some people just 'cut to the chase'. Sorry to hijack the thread, that's it
newbby Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 yes, that is not to say that bashing doesnt happen, or that sometimes there isnt a veiled attack, just that it doesnt ALWAYS happen, and there are also defensive over reactions to complete non-attacks. hijack over too
Author RedRose73 Posted February 14, 2006 Author Posted February 14, 2006 ok guys its Valentine's Day! I hope to God that my ex MM doesn't send me roses at work. I have a gut feeling he is going to, but i pray to God that he doesn't. Happy Valentine's Day Ladies Hang in there
newbby Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 so what if he does. just take the card off and give them to a nice single handsome guy. its much cheaper that way.
OzGirl Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 Having every reason to be happy it finally ended, I have spent 6 months crying my eyeballs out over a MM. Then, the other day, he told me he needed a couple of weeks to work out if he still wanted to be with his W. My hopes have been drastically reduced, but what eliminated my care, my tears, and lifted that weight off my heart? Finding out the two weeks was for a trip to Hawaii with his pregnant wife. The pain stopped - and it took him hurting me over and over and over, and lying over and over and over before finally, one of those all-too-often lies became the last straw. His loss. I have freedom to love honestly, faithfully and carefully in the future. His wife does not. And, as for him ... well, clearly he doesn't seek it, have it, or want it... so he will continue to live in ignorance.... what a life. You will feel dead before you're re-born.... but you will get there... trust me... he will make sure you do.
Owl Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 Marie- Sorry you're back, friend. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. I just HOPE to god that my MM doesn't send me roses to my work. That is the last thing i want to see. If he does, do this the RIGHT way...walk into his office with the roses in hand, and SCREAM at him to stop bothering you! Yell at the top of your lungs...tell him if he doesn't stop stalking you that you'll go to HR, that you'll file a restraining order, that you'll contact his WIFE if he doesn't go away...you name it. Make it crystal clear to everyone within a half mile that he's pursuing you and you want it to stop. EMBARASS HIM...and he'll go away. This would help your NC big time...might even get HIM fired so you don't have to seek another job. And since you're already looking for another job anyway, what do you care?
Author RedRose73 Posted February 15, 2006 Author Posted February 15, 2006 Hello Again Well my ex MM didn't send me flowers to work, Thank god, I would have brought them right to his office & left them on his desk. However, I was sitting there working & i heard something behind me & i turned around & there he was in the office right behind me. I almost had a heart attack!!!! I couldn't get up & walk to the bathroom fast enough. I thought i was going to trip on the way! I was shaking & my heart was pounding, but not as bad as it used to. I still have to say that i am still attracted to this man, I still think he is such a handsome man on the outside, but so ugly on the inside for what he did to me. & its what's on the inside that counts right ladies? I just still can't figure out how a man could say he loves u so much ends up hurting that you so badly, i just can't understand that!! I could honestly say that this is the worst that i have ever been hurt by a man in my entire life -- & he always used to say, don't even try to compare me to those idiots exes & here he turns out to be the worst of them all!!
whichwayisup Posted February 15, 2006 Posted February 15, 2006 Ofcourse you're still attracted to him! And you probably still have feelings for him too. Those will fade in time, you just have to allow yourself time to get over him. You don't like him as a person anymore, so USE that knowledge to your benefit. Eventually you won't have to run from him. You will be able to stand, look him in the eye and feel nothing.
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