fooled Posted February 12, 2006 Posted February 12, 2006 It's got to. Don't know how - as I was totally lonely in a group of girls the other night. You need to meet some folks with similar interests, I think.
riobikini Posted February 12, 2006 Posted February 12, 2006 The feeling of lonliness can be with you even in a roomful of people. It's the 'not being alone' part that's important. You have to see that there are people going on with their lives, and you have to know that, at least, some of them have been where you are at some point in their own lives. It can make you realize that there is truly life after a break-up. Especially if you note the smiles and the laughter they are capable of, happening again. You can look around that room and, no matter how much you feel as if you don't quite fit in with those happy people, you have to know that you really do, -and realize, too, -that judging by the couples or by the number willing to to openly display their availability again, there's certainly a time ahead for you when when another 'someone' is a possibility. And you shouldn't be missing out on it. -Rio
Blue in Texas Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 Having been through this before, I can say that yeah, the loneliness does go away, but not all at once. I like to measure it in terms of good days. At first there are no good days, and then precious few. Towards the end they are mostly good, but every now and then a bad one sneaks in to remind you. Having read you alls' posts I can see that you go up and down. Hope its mostly up from here on.
wendel1 Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 Being alone isn't all that bad! Why do you have to be with someone to be happy? I've been split with my ex for 6 months now, and yes I feel lonely sometimes....but I'm happy...there's someone else out there for everybody...
Author UT_longhorn Posted February 18, 2006 Author Posted February 18, 2006 i use to never feel lonely being by myself. it was nice to be alone and nice to do things on my own. after my breakup, im lonely a lot more. i went to dinner with 3 females..and like fooled said...even with the company i was still lonely. is it natural to feel like this 7 weeks after the break up? this is tough as hell. its really making me into another person. my humor is lost. i really feel that this is affecting me harder than i thought. i just don't want to be stuck in this state for too long. its really depressing. do you others feel this way?
Ruff Ryder Posted February 18, 2006 Posted February 18, 2006 "how can we appreciate the good if we dont experince the bad?" I believe that being lonly now may not be a bad thing work on yourself and the nex person you meet you will love that much more care for that much more appreciate that much more. In that light is being lonly such a bad thing?
WeaknPowerless Posted February 18, 2006 Posted February 18, 2006 Call me Captain Independance...and then my stripes were taken away from me. I was at a party, and lonlier then I have been in a long time. I want to get better. There are days when I am better. I mentally prepare to get better. There are days when I think I am better. Am I better? I'm not so sure...
Author UT_longhorn Posted March 5, 2006 Author Posted March 5, 2006 guys. i wrote this post over 2 weeks ago. still feeling incredibly lonely. i went out with friends...i even had girls interested in me. got 2 numbers. it gave me no satisfaction. im so frustrated that im still thinking about her. that im still hurting because of her. that i still sometimes cry because of her. what did she do to me? whats going on? anyone with experience...can you tell me...does the loneliness subside?
trone Posted March 5, 2006 Posted March 5, 2006 UT, I feel the same way and I am sure this is very common right after the breakup. I think we are the main reason for feeling lonely. We do meet with people, get numbers but it does not excite us at all because we are still thinking about our exes. Loneliness is the result not the reason for anything. If we could decide to turn on the lights instead of insisting to stay in dark, I am sure it will go away. Can we do it? I am sure but we just need to be stronger.
riobikini Posted March 5, 2006 Posted March 5, 2006 UT, truly, it does subside. I am not climbing aboard the 'Hope Train' just because it sounds good, I am honestly relating to you my own personal experiences. There have been some experiences in my life when I thought I would actually die of loneliness, -even though there were good people still revolving in and out my life, trying desperately to make me see that life did (does) go on, and that I would heal. I thank God for those people, because they were right. As much as I, sometimes, resented their positive outlook, they were in a position to give me hope -and proof- that I would someday not feel as lonely and miserable, by relating their own experiences and by just living their everyday normal lives, that, I knew, for some of them, had been torn apart in the past by circumstances similar to mine. They cared about me, and didn't stop inspiring me. They bared their hearts and stories that were, sometimes, even more painful than my own, it seemed. And they shared with me more than they even knew or, perhaps, meant to: they helped me reconstruct my idea of what friendship was and could mean in the worst circumstances. That was a 'bonus'. There's a lot of tearing down and rebuilding up that goes on inside someone so hurt beyond words that will wind up renewing a lot of who you are and can be, future, as a person. This is just your time, UT, -you are reworking and rebuilding the 'inner you', -and, although, you are having a particularly rough time with it, and the struggle, it seems, is such a monster for you, -I promise you, the outcome is inevitable, and has great potential to turn out a magnificent being. You will survive this, -that is certain- how you will use it to enhance your life and the lives of others is up to you. Loneliness is actually, a good thing, -it has potential to make you face who you are as a solitary human being and forces you to become re-acquainted with who you now are, and what you are truly made of. In the aftermath of learning that, it makes you appreciate and value, with such delightful awareness, your interaction and and value to others. I'm not trying to say you will become a butterfly, here, -but you certainly won't remain a catapillar. UT, moreover, you are absolutely not alone, many people have walked this road, and history -for as long as there is life here- will continue to repeat itself, and others will wind up on this same, miserable road. But if life is a journey, it means that we keep moving, -but there are places to rest and re-associate with others along the way. You are re-associating, and the rest is up to you. My most generous and kind thoughts are with you. Take care. (Smile) -Rio
monkey00 Posted March 5, 2006 Posted March 5, 2006 guys. i wrote this post over 2 weeks ago. still feeling incredibly lonely. i went out with friends...i even had girls interested in me. got 2 numbers. it gave me no satisfaction. im so frustrated that im still thinking about her. that im still hurting because of her. that i still sometimes cry because of her. what did she do to me? whats going on? anyone with experience...can you tell me...does the loneliness subside? yea i know what you mean im going through the same thing now....some days you'll feel great and she wont be on your mind. perhaps for a minute or 2 on some day...it creeps up on you w/o knowing...and end up destroying your mood. possibly fond memories of the person relating to specific dates, locations, hangout places...foods.. people you both mutually knew. i think it's the fact that at one point, they filled an empty void in your life...and after they leave it hurts because you were used to having them around. its a hard feeling. no matter where you look or who you meet, the person could never compared to her, attraction is not logical and we cant turn it on or off. you just dont feel 'it', the same feeling you shared with the ex. The only prescription im taking now is NC, occupy my time with activities through the day, and go out and meet/date other people. it's the only way you can get out of the slump. it's hard but...try to make an effort at the very least. i dont think one can truly be happy dating someone else, unless we stop comparing them to the ex. lessons like these can teach us not to take something for granted. You'll only realize it's value once it's gone...
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