helena abadi Posted February 12, 2006 Posted February 12, 2006 someone on another thread wrote about the cell phone thing and late nite drunken messages to your ex... been there, done that, felt appalling. did it again, felt more appalling than ever. i was a sucker for punishment. became suitably ashamed and swore i would NEVER DO IT AGAIN. so help me God. the cell phone is so commonly used for private communication between two people in a relationship, it's too easy to keep using it when the relationship is over. overtly calling someone on a regular phone seems too obvious and i wouldn't have the nerve. did the ex resent the intrusion on his privacy? he most certainly did. had he done that to me? nope. did i care at the time? nope. i knew it would needle him and i was so pissed at him (and i was pissed), i didn't care. at least i didn't making declarations of undying love. afterwards i cared enough to have more respect for myself and for him. the cell phone has altered dating etiquette and break-up etiquette, and can be an aid or a weapon, depending on where you're at. i'm curious to know how common late nite drunken texting to the ex is...
lindya Posted February 12, 2006 Posted February 12, 2006 the cell phone has altered dating etiquette and break-up etiquette, and can be an aid or a weapon, depending on where you're at. i'm curious to know how common late nite drunken texting to the ex is... I've never done drunken texting or phoning, but have indulged in hormonal histrionic-filled texting/emailing a few times. Boredom is the thing that is most likely to make me grab the forbidden fruit, though. I'll have managed No Contact for ages, then all of a sudden I'll just get this urge to spice life up a bit. For the same reasons, probably, that I used to grab nettles as a child. Having spent the last couple of years suffering severe indigestion from spicing things up a bit too much, I think I've now learned my lesson on that score.
Author helena abadi Posted February 13, 2006 Author Posted February 13, 2006 thank God, i'm not alone. it wasn't just me inventing an entirely new form of occasionally vigorous harassment that felt like vindication at the time but oh so embarassing the next day when stone cold sober. yes, i remember stinging nettles hurt, but they didn't stop me from going back into the woods. why is it so difficult letting go and moving on completely, taking all the excellent LS advice, doing some halo polishing.... i suspect after a Major Break Up unresolved issues linger on for some time and are manifested in late night drunken texting and drive-by egging... some divorced couples take years for the anger to wear off. maybe sometimes it just never goes, but you learn to compartmentalise it better.
littlekitty Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 It's a pride thing that would stop me from doing this. I've done it in the past once or twice, but pride would kick in and I couldn't continue to do it. The only person left looking stupid was myself. My bf's ex is still occassionally doing the 'accidental' text and email trick!!! Sending a message meant to be for a new lover accidently to my bf!! I meant it's soooo obvious it's painful, and what does she think it will achieve? Nothing! We read, delete, laugh and forget. I guess she still has this lesson to learn.
Author helena abadi Posted February 13, 2006 Author Posted February 13, 2006 the accidental text - that's a trick i'd never heard of. and that is really obvious, i agree. beyond stupid. a little pride goes a looong way.
littlekitty Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 Sure does. Regardless of age, maturity and intellect we've all done stupid things in the heat of the moment. I think it's recognising that, and then having the pride and dignity to stop that's most important!! Anyway... you're not alone!!
Author helena abadi Posted February 14, 2006 Author Posted February 14, 2006 your post helped me a lot. i saw my ex today, with another woman, and i totally ignored him. and i felt superior. he was the one who looked very uncomfortable. thanks for that, it bolstered my morale no end.
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