guest Posted February 12, 2006 Posted February 12, 2006 Here is my story... hope I could get some opinion here. A bit long, please read... Everything have been going great between me and my BF of two months.I have been to his house few time. here is the story: Day one: I went to his house had dinner there and stayed a night (in separate rooms, we haven't had sex, I don't believe in sex before marriage, which we have talked about before and he respects that) Day two: I back home lunch time. we chatted online {in the} afternoon. Day three: No SMS, no call from him. Day four: No SMS no call from him. I called him at night, no answer, called again later at night, no answer. I start to worry about him. Day five: I called him at morning, no answer, lunch time he SMS'ed me, said sorry that he had been busy, I replied its ok, I thought something happened, as long as everything is ok with him I am happy. At night, he SMS'ed me just to say good night. Day six: No contact througt the day, night time I received a long e-mail from him, basically in the e-mail he said, he has been busy, sorry he made me worried, and he's still busy recently (renovating his house) and looking after his nonna (she just moved to live with him recently). He said he is really attached to me already, and he knows I am attached to him also. I can't concentrate on day to day {things}, as I am thinking about him. He felt we're moving too fast, that he doesn't want a "crash and burn" type of relationship, so he decided to slow down and wants me to slow down too. He also said he is afraid I can't stay in his country and will leave him soon (I am from overseas and studying in his country, my visa expires in a month's time and I am applying for a VISA to stay here permanently, but I'm not sure if I can get the VISA) and he said, his phone has a problem ... can't accept calls, and he has no credit ... can't send SMS, but he will get credit soon. He said I can't contact him by email. I don't really know what he is thinking, that he really just wants to slow down or just be polite to tell me that he thinks I should not contact him anymore. Day seven: We chatted online, asked him question, and he meant we're still in a relationship, everything is still the same, and he just wants to slow down. as we talk he have no intention to see me any time soon (at least not in Feb). He also said he's trying to plan his uni. timetable well so we have time to see each other. Now: A week later, no SMS , no call from him. I actually feel bit relax, as I'm thinking now, O.K. take it slow, no pressure no stress, see where it goes, and concentrate on my own life. (I plan to do my research degree this year, a lot of work to do). At the same time, I'm wondering, I don't feel like I am in a relationship, that as I cant even talk to my BF once a week, and I don't know when he plans to see me again. I am not planning to call him or SMS him, I don't want to push him or sound desperate. Anyone have any opinion about what is going on? Is he really just taking it slow as he said ... Is he serious about me & don't want to end up a crash and burn type relationship, or something else? Or am I thinking too much? Thanks :-) Please, someone give me some opinions, this is my first relationship, no experience , need help :-)
BlahBlahQueen Posted February 14, 2006 Posted February 14, 2006 From your post I really can't tell what he's thinking, but I can tell you that you're completely within your rights to ask for contact. Tell him you need to set up at least a weekly date with him if he plans on being in a relationship with you. Tell him gently but firmly, so as not to seem demanding, but definitive. You have needs which must be respected too, and if he calls it a bf/gf relationship, then once a week is very reasonable and he could surely fit it into his schedule if he is committed to you. If he refuses this, then he's probably not really interested in a relationship and is only trying to let you down gently.
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