big_girls_rock Posted February 12, 2006 Posted February 12, 2006 I have been dating my bf for a little over a month. He stays back in my hometown which I visit at least once or twice a month. I stay 7-8 hours away but I visit back home often for special events or just to see him. The other night we spoke on the phone which is something we do everyday and he opened up to me way more then I had expected. He stated that the last few times we have hung out have been ( in his words-) no connection. I seriously thought we were doing fine. I mean his friends were over a lot and I was being pulled away by friends and family but we had a few good times by ourselves. We talked and we really want to work this out. What should I do? Should I step my up game? He said that it felt more like a "friends with benifits" vibe. But he dosn't feel that way towards me at all- he wants this relationship to take off but he feels instead of taking off- its kind of slowing down. Though he stated that he didn't feel the same connection as the first time we hung out our relationship is a lot deeper then it may look in this paragraph- I mean we have even stated that we love eachother and all. We were friends before we started dating. I want to be the best gf ever and I will go all out to make this work. Any advice?
Shark Skin Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 I hate to say it, but this relationship is going nowhere. The words "Love" and "No Connection" cannot relate to each other. You don't need to step up, you need to step out!
jerbear Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 Instead of stepping up your game, it maybe time to step down and out. If friends with benefits is what you want then stay. If he has no connection then there is no connection. Some of your friends are doing the right thing by pulling you away from a potential timebomb while it is early on, one month of dating. You mentioned something deeper, what do you mean?
Author big_girls_rock Posted February 13, 2006 Author Posted February 13, 2006 Thanks all for posting. When I meant its deeper I meant that we have sooo much more then others see. The reason why I wanted to stay in this relationship was because the last few times we hung out I wasn't all there. A lot has been going on and I didn't put all that I could in the time we spent together when he did. So the "no connection" issue was because I wasn't really foucused on him so much but my problems. Now for the update. Since so much is going on we both decidided that we should take a break from eachother until I get my **** straitened out and if I still wanted to get back with him I could. Theres just too much going on and I don't need bf at this time. He said not to worry because he would wait and would still be there. We still want a relationship but I need to get my life straitened out.
Elyssa Posted February 19, 2006 Posted February 19, 2006 To the original poster: What's wrong with friends with benefits? You two sound pretty honest with eachother, keep it that way and just enjoy whatever time you have together for now. Its not really an all or nothing issue. Good luck!
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