WeaknPowerless Posted February 11, 2006 Posted February 11, 2006 Man, Two "good" days this week in a row. I was pretty happy, not reflecting too often, feeling more at peace... But I've spent Thursday/Friday and now today in a bad space. Driving with my buddy and suddenly wondering how ****ty I'd feel if I saw her drive by with another guy in the car. I'm about to take my buddy from out of town, downtown to hang out, and I'm petrified to do it...I feel like a prisoner in my own city. Over a month now of NC, and 100% it helps, but damn it I miss things. I want to know if she thinks about it. If she has times where she has to tell herself not to write or pick up the phone. Sure doesn't seem like it. She has just up and vanished and it eats at me. This heartbreak is a cancer of my soul. The world is my oyster, great job, friends, family, etc...and I want, NEED this one person. I'm tired of feeling crummy and I'm tired of thinking about her. Two plus months and I still have no attractions to other women, yet I crave that warmth and love. It's so hard.
Zeppelin456 Posted February 12, 2006 Posted February 12, 2006 Same here dude...don't worry, I think it just happens. This past week, I had three days in a row where I felt like I was getting some perspective on things (e.g. I don't need her, I'm a good person blah blah blah) and then I came across one of her photo albums online somehow and she'd put up new pictures of her and her friends and she looked to be happy and it just devastated me. I didn't get out of bed the next day and I felt pathetic for it. It's taken a few days but I'm slowly getting back on track, and I feel even stronger for having suffered those few days. It's like, you have to get through a certain quantity of pain no matter what. There's no shortcuts really, you just have to do it. And it sounds like you are, so feel good that it only gets better from here.
In Sync Posted February 12, 2006 Posted February 12, 2006 Message to Zeppelin456: Quit looking at pic of the ex online! What's that all about self torture?! NC means none of that checking online, looking at old momentos, e-mails, photos, etc. See what it did to you afterwards...
My_Other_I Posted February 12, 2006 Posted February 12, 2006 Message to Zeppelin456: Quit looking at pic of the ex online! What's that all about self torture?! NC means none of that checking online, looking at old momentos, e-mails, photos, etc. See what it did to you afterwards... I totally agree! Stop looking her up online! : And to your question: she probably does think about calling you at times, but doesn't want to bring emotions back. For her or you. Imagine how you would feel after she called just to say hi? You'd feel like crap again, missing her and all that. So be glad she doesnt play you like that and keep moving on
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