renaissancewoman101 Posted February 11, 2006 Posted February 11, 2006 In the past I posted extensively on here about my ex, the guy that lived at home, was an alcoholic, and was a child at heart. I am finally starting to get over him, esp after having moved out to San Diego now for a month. I am finally starting to settle in around here, find a job, etc. I may have met someone new as a friend, but I am not sure how this is going to turn out. I like the guy but he is a lot older than me. Let me start from the beginning, besides this website, I also post on another messageboard that deals with breakups, healing and moving on. I have been posting on thre since Sept. A lot of people also post helpful advice to me on there about getting over my ex, moving on, etc. One of the guys who answered my posts lives in the same town I now live in. One day he PMd me about how my move was and if I needed any help, advice, or to chat, that he could do so. He is a lot older than me. He is in his 50's and I am only 32. He is also in the middle of getting a divorce with his wife (she initiated it).We PMd each other a few times and I met up with him last Sat to watch him fly kites with his buddy. I didnt talk to him long but we seemed to hit it off. He then told me that if I ever wanted someone to go hang out with or to go eat, he would be open to it. I emailed him Monday to let him now that I was glad to have met up with him and asked if we could go and grab a bite one of these days. He told me if I wanted to, we could grab lunch this weekend. We ended up going out to lunch today. I had a great time with him and he showed me where the good Asian food places were in the area. He then also drove me around the city pointing out places that were good to go biking, to watch sunsets, etc. He showed me where he used to live before they split up. He even showed me the city viewing from the beach. He seemed like he liked my company. He did associate a lot of the places that he took me to, with his soon-to-be ex wife. He talked about her a lot which was ok with me. We were out for about 3 hours and when he dropped me off at home, he told me that I was a really nice girl with a good sense of humor and that I would not have trouble making freinds or meeting people out here. He then said that I should be happy that my ex is out of my life because he really wasnt the right one for me. I told him that I had a great time and that we could do this again if he wanted to. He sounded like he was happy I said that and he told me that we could go out again and to keep in touch. I hope he will go out with me again. He seemed like he had a good time and he seemed like he was into me, but I cant tell. I dont know how to tell these things. This is the email I wrote to him: Hey, I just wanted to write you a quick email to tell you that I had a great time going to lunch with you and having you show me around San Diego. It is nice to see how many nice places there are in San Diego to do stuff like bike ride, see sunsets, etc. I hope we can hang out again. Since I am so new around here, it is fun to have someone show me the sights. You have a great sense of humor and a nice personality and I had a great time. Have a good weekend! He's been online at the messageboard but he hasnt replied to the message, or is the message something that bears replying to? Maybe I read him wrong and he isnt interested in hanging out with me again as a friend.
Author renaissancewoman101 Posted February 11, 2006 Author Posted February 11, 2006 He finally did write me back. How would you guys interpret this: B, I had a good time and hope to see you again soon. Best of luck on the job search. Take care, lady S
clandestinidad Posted February 11, 2006 Posted February 11, 2006 Thats an odd response to the email you sent. I would be quite confused from that. Wait and dont get in contact with him unless he sends a better one.
Author renaissancewoman101 Posted February 11, 2006 Author Posted February 11, 2006 Kat23, I know the response was weird. Does it sound like he may be brushing me off and doesnt want to hang out again??? I just moved into the area and am looking for people to hang with, that is all. Nothing crazy or anything like that. Just a friendship
clandestinidad Posted February 11, 2006 Posted February 11, 2006 Well, I would take it as a brush off....I cant think of any other reason he'd write that shallow of a response to the day you had together, and your sweet email. I've been trying to think of excuses for it.....but I cant. Unless he's trying to play aloof, but thats weird. Give it a couple days, 4 I'd say, and if he doesnt send anything better or get in contact with you, move along. I dont know why people freak out thinking someone wants more than a friendship, thats annoying. I had a guy do that a couple of months ago. I'm thinking about other ways to meet people in your area. Would you spend time with any colleagues at work? (I'll keep thinking, btw)
Author renaissancewoman101 Posted February 11, 2006 Author Posted February 11, 2006 You are probably right, it sounds like a brushoff although he seems like he had a good time yesterday. Originally we were supposed to only go for lunch and then he wanted to show me some Asian shopping areas around San Diego and then he wanted to show me some good areas to go biking, hang out, etc. around San Diego because I just moved here and dont know what to do out here. I thought he had a good time because he seemed ok and seemed to enjoy hanging out with me. At the end, he said he had a good time and we could do this again and keep in touch. I just am looking to make friends. I dont have a job right now and living in a new city with no friends close by is kinda daunting to me. I told some of my friends this and they said to lay low for a while and then ask him to go do something with me that is of interest for me, as a friend. What you think of that advice? I may just write it off as someone not wanting a friendship. I am so new into this city, having just moved here a month ago. I have no friends around here and am having a hard time going out and meeting people. I also dont have a job yet and am having a hard time finding a job. I spend most of my days in my apartment or shopping, or out by my parents in LA (I live in San Diego) or by my best friend's in Irvine.
Author renaissancewoman101 Posted February 11, 2006 Author Posted February 11, 2006 I moved out to San Diego because my family and my best friend live in CA. I also wanted to start afresh and get over my breakup with my current ex and I thought the best way to start anew was to move away. Also, my best friend just moved to Irvine and I wanted to be closer to him and my family lives in LA. I chose San Diego because it is a smaller city and far enough away from my family and my best friend that I can start over on my own and spread my wings. I didnt plan my move out here well because I was still grieving over the breakup between my current ex and me and I just wanted a new start, so I just quit my job, packed up, and moved out here, and I have no job out here and I am so unmotivated to go and find a job.
noclobber Posted February 11, 2006 Posted February 11, 2006 I may be wrong but may be he wants more than friendship and figured that you want "just a friend" and that's why he is backing out now??? That would make sense especially after you both enjoyed each others company...
Author renaissancewoman101 Posted February 11, 2006 Author Posted February 11, 2006 I really am not sure what I am looking for either. I just want to make some friends now and dont want to sound desperate. Does anybody else have an opinion about his response to my email?
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