AltplanB Posted February 11, 2006 Posted February 11, 2006 I still think about my ex everyday, at least once an hour. Sometimes nonstop. I just cant seem to let go of my feelings for her. I know there is no chance of us getting back together and that she has moved on and is with someone else. The feelings dont reside on those facts, they reside on my love of her who she is. When she broke up with me, she did it without really doing anything that would make me hate her, other than moving on really fast. Because of this, i couldn't move on. It has been at around a month since i talked to her last and she has accepted that we cannot be friends. She is a really kind hearted person but she was looking for something better and she found it immediately. I dont blame her, she is really hot and a very kind hearted women that loves sex. Her only negatives are her bulimia and mood swings. But she did everything possible for those things not to affect me. When i come down to thinking about it, she had both good and bad reasons to leave me. I look at the problems that she had, in which i almost broke up with her over, and i see a huge difference in severity. The things she broke up with me over were problems of character, not problems of habit. I have let this break up continue to hurt me. Not because i am a weak idiot, but because she was everything to me, which lead to my downfall. I guess i believed in that fairytale love story that happens every once in a while when you fall in love and thats it, you spend the rest of your life with that person. It would seem that this would be the case for only a small portion of people and i was naive to think that it would work between two people that grew and changed so regularly. Its a sad fact that love does not conquer all, just our own judgement.
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted February 11, 2006 Posted February 11, 2006 I dont blame her, she is really hot and a very kind hearted women that loves sex. Her only negatives are her bulimia and mood swings. bulimia is hot???
whichwayisup Posted February 11, 2006 Posted February 11, 2006 I still think about my ex everyday, at least once an hour. Sometimes nonstop. I just cant seem to let go of my feelings for her. I know there is no chance of us getting back together and that she has moved on and is with someone else. The feelings dont reside on those facts, they reside on my love of her who she is. When she broke up with me, she did it without really doing anything that would make me hate her, other than moving on really fast. Because of this, i couldn't move on. It has been at around a month since i talked to her last and she has accepted that we cannot be friends. She is a really kind hearted person but she was looking for something better and she found it immediately. I dont blame her, she is really hot and a very kind hearted women that loves sex. Her only negatives are her bulimia and mood swings. But she did everything possible for those things not to affect me. When i come down to thinking about it, she had both good and bad reasons to leave me. I look at the problems that she had, in which i almost broke up with her over, and i see a huge difference in severity. The things she broke up with me over were problems of character, not problems of habit. I have let this break up continue to hurt me. Not because i am a weak idiot, but because she was everything to me, which lead to my downfall. I guess i believed in that fairytale love story that happens every once in a while when you fall in love and thats it, you spend the rest of your life with that person. It would seem that this would be the case for only a small portion of people and i was naive to think that it would work between two people that grew and changed so regularly. Its a sad fact that love does not conquer all, just our own judgement. How long ago did you two break-up? Each day, when she creeps into your head, try your best to push her out of your thoughts. It isn't healthy for you to continue thinking about her, especially as you know it is over and she isn't coming back. It isn't serving you any good, thinking of her, fantasizing about her? I bet you doing that is painful...And it also is making it harder for you to grieve, let go and deal with the fact she's gone. Try to keep busier, be with your friends. Your family. And, start exercising, focus all that negative energy into make YOU feel better. Yeah I know, easier said than done, but you have to go through the process of healing...And what you're doing right now is preventing you from moving on. I hope you understand what I mean. If you feel very down and are having trouble functioning and this is affecting everything in your life, then maybe it's time for you to consider seeing a therapist just until you can cope better.
Blue in Texas Posted February 11, 2006 Posted February 11, 2006 AltplanB. I am not sure you have diagnosed your inability to move on correctly. I don't think it's b/c you don't hate her. Hate actually makes it harder to move on -- it's one more emotion that you have to deal with. I think it's b/c your feelings are so normal. I don't know how long it has been since you broke up, but if you spoke to her a month ago, your feelings may still be pretty raw. Try not to get down on yourself. You will heal when you heal, which sucks because time seems to move so slowly when you are down. I agree with Whichwayisup. Activity and not blaming yourself will speed healing and make time go faster.
scobro Posted February 11, 2006 Posted February 11, 2006 I know there is no chance of us getting back together and that she has moved on and is with someone else. Right there should be the key to forgetting about her. She is a really kind hearted person but she was looking for something better and she found it immediately. I dont blame her, she is really hot and a very kind hearted women that loves sex. So because of this you think that she found someone better?No she just found someone else...........get some self confidence back.She doesn't seem that kind hearted to me probably isn't as hot as you think and lots of other women like sex too.I would blame her don't thank her it seems like you are agreeing with her descision and it's ok because she deserves better..well f*** that you deserve better bro. Her only negatives are her bulimia and mood swings. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA this is hilarious nothing like a moody bulimic to brighten your day, sounds like she did you a favour.Did she ever throw up on you(ouch that was out of line)oh well. guess i believed in that fairytale love story that happens every once in a while when you fall in love and thats it, you spend the rest of your life with that person. I used to believe that too.Now I believe every relationship has an expiry whether due to death or divorce or whatever they eventually end.Don't put your self identity in your relationship and don't rely on someone else to make you happy and fulfill your needs because that's too much to ask someone and you will always get hurt in the end. Its a sad fact that love does not conquer all, just our own judgement. Love doesn't conqer anything.Our judgements are usually done through ego and falling in love in most cases is two people expecting the other to make them happy.When two people are at peace with themselves and are not ego driven that is when true love happens not infatuation or ego driven "make me happy I am now complete with you", crap.Usually the happy ending when two ego driven people fall in love is marriage and look how un-successful marriages are.There is no happy ending in any relationship they are gifts that come in and out of your life and if your whole sense of self is your past then you are not able to have a true relationship with anyone.
Author AltplanB Posted February 11, 2006 Author Posted February 11, 2006 yea bulimia was no fun. Shes been struggling with it for 6 years. I had no chance of getting her to stop. I tried everything too. She would try and hide that she had just yaked in the toilet. One time she actually plugged it up and i came and unplugged it. She was so embarrassed. But i told her not to be, just to keep trying to work on getting over bulimia. The thing that i told her pissed me off was that she wouldn't get real help becuase she would then have to tell her parents and she didn't want them to know she was still doing it. I never got angry at ther though, just that she wouldn't let me help her when i was so willing too. But now none of that is my problem. I just have to keep on moving on. Even though she just left a 5 minute message on my machine explaining that she missed me and that she wanted to talk and such, see how things were going....But i am not going to respond. This is for everyone and has helped me to not call: If you want to call, you are not ready. If you dont know whether it might hurt you later, your not ready. If you think ther call might **** with your emotions, then your not ready.
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