SuperMonk Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 Dunno the whole story, but it sounds like you're not giving the exact details. When someone acts angry it is usually a reaction to something that made them angry. Something like a phone call and calling to say lovely things does not equate making someone anger. My judgement on this guy is nilch as woman will blow things out of proportion themselves. For example: If my insecure girlfriend went through my cell phone and I knew she did. I would be pissed off. Then she would say " But I love you" and I'd still be very angry because of the distrust. Then she tells her girlfriends "OMG, my bf went psycho I just held his phone and OMG like..told him I love you and... SOB SOB SOB he totally went angry on me" then the girls agree in unison (like dumb lemmings) "Ya he's an ass-hole, dump him!"
Mary3 Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 Its easy for our friends to say " Yeah he's an a**h***, just dump him !" But really thats just our friends voices agreeing with us. But in fact , what if you did something that really pissed him off ? If so, taking a deeper look so as to figure out if you might be too needy by calling him so late at night. I know it sounds like a sweet romantic gesture and ( it is ) but maybe your basic behavior was consistant with irritating him ? Men are rather simple to understand ( it seems ) most don't go for the overly emotional girls ( not saying you are ) but if its TRUE that you did something that pissed him off ( if it were me ) I would try to look at it from his point of view and see how he might of felt being woken up . The secret for women is to be almost like * one of the guys * because men operate better with their male friends. Its better to see how they treat him and try to be more similar. To give you an idea , how many guys do YOU know that sit around saying ::" Oh God she really hurt my feelings, I felt just devastated and she made me feel so bad ,so alone , so vulnerable , you boys understand how hurt am I right " ? I know that sounds a little silly but honestly men don't think like women. They really dont see the world the way we do. So the secret is to learn their world and try to better understand how they might not want you gushing your feelings at that late hour on the phone. Yes there are guys who do have deep feelings and wear them on their arm but like a previous poster once said : You dont want us acting like women do you ? So true dat !
witabix Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 .......... Men are rather simple to understand ( it seems )........... To give you an idea , how many guys do YOU know that sit around saying ::" Oh God she really hurt my feelings, I felt just devastated and she made me feel so bad ,so alone , so vulnerable , you boys understand how hurt am I right " ? I know that sounds a little silly but honestly men don't think like women. They really dont see the world the way we do. So the secret is to learn their world and try to better understand how they might not want you gushing your feelings at that late hour on the phone. Yes there are guys who do have deep feelings and wear them on their arm but like a previous poster once said : You dont want us acting like women do you ? So true dat ! No need for a man to act like a woman, thats what women do. I think its not such a bad idea for a guy to be more open with himself, to admit when he is hurt or angry, to echo your thoughts Mary, for men, to learn the 'world' of women and try to better understand how women feel/think is a good idea. Meet in the middle? Sounds like a good idea to me.
kitkat826 Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 Very often when someone blows up over something so insignificant, its because they feel guily about something they've done themselves. Meanwhile, they get to control you and keep you at a distance, which is just where they want you so that they can do damage control or figure things out on their end. Unless theres something significant that you're leaving out in your retelling of the story, I would be very weary of him and what HE'S been up to lately.
magda Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 I think he's tired of you acting clingy and needy and is getting madder than he should over this to have an excuse to break up with you. I think it's not so much this particular incident as it is simply the final incident in a series.
witabix Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 The last two posts, particularly KitKat's, contain useful insights into what may be going on here confused_one.
Walk Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 The email he sent you... it kind of sounds like there was a precurser to this. In his email, it doesn't entirely sound as though it was the phone call that set him off, but something that happened prior to the phone call, and the call was the final stray to his patience. (I'm not excusing his behavior, by any means) Was he ignoring you to any degree prior to the phone call? Is that why you called to tell him you love him/miss him? His statement "When you do something blatantly rude and inconsiderate, and not even for the first time then obviously there is a problem. Especialy when you just ignore that I told you about it...". Is he talking about how he JUST told you when you called, or had he said something about this before? Can you see (honestly) any event prior to the phone call that may have irritated/upset him? Were you calling a lot earlier? Had the two of you been speaking much prior to this? Did you feel there was distance, and that's why you called? Personally, the guy is an azz. You weren't the one keeping him up all night. He wasn't sleeping when you called him, he was on the computer. If he couldn't sleep after blowing up at you, then that's his problem, NOT yours. He blew it out of proportion. Honestly, don't call him. Don't contact him at all. This is a power trip. I know because I've had this pulled on me for 2 years now. You apologized already. Just assume your V-day is shot, and you're not going to spend it with him. I know it sucks, and it hurts, and you feel like crap (your sick, and you have this going on.). Unless he's specifically asked you not to call past a certain hour, or has set boundaries for calling past a certain time, then you weren't being disrespectful toward him. Any guy who gives you the silent treatment for 3 days needs to be kicked to the curb. He's an immature piece o shyt. How childish. Mature adults talk about problems, come to comprimises, continue to seek understanding. This isn't comprimise, and he isn't willing to even accept that there's another side. This is a blatant "my way or the highway" approach to a relationship. That's a dictatorship, not relationship.
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