confused _one Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Well I just wanted to know if Im out of line for being mad at my year and a half year b.f. Recently weve gotten into a big fight because I called him to tell him i love him and cant stop thinking about him and accidently got him out of his zone where hes trying to get to sleep although he was still up on his computer. Well that wasnt such a good plan he blew up and called me a insensitive bitch and has cut me out of his life for a few days. I cant believe that he would do such a thing he also blocked and deleted me on msn. Ive appologized to him sorry doesnt work for him. Is he being totally unreasonable or am I the one out of line?
Forever Searching Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 You are not out of line. He is. You are the one that should be giving him the silent treatment!! Why would you take that kind of abuse? He sound like a creep and I"m sure you can do much better!!!
witabix Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 You called to tell him you loved him and can't stop thinking about him, and he got mad? Jerk!
Author confused _one Posted February 10, 2006 Author Posted February 10, 2006 Thanks just needed to hear that it wasnt just me that hes being totally insensitive, immature, and totally out of line
Author confused _one Posted February 10, 2006 Author Posted February 10, 2006 Im completly cut out of his life for 3 days, he wont email me, talk to me on the phone trust me ive tried, or anything.
Forever Searching Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 He's treating you this way because you are letting him. Don't do it anymore.
witabix Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Don't contact him again, he sounds a total pouty wuss. Let him come to you. Give him some of his own medicine.
whichwayisup Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Recently weve gotten into a big fight because I called him to tell him i love him and cant stop thinking about him and accidently got him out of his zone where hes trying to get to sleep although he was still up on his computer. Well that wasnt such a good plan he blew up and called me a insensitive bitch and has cut me out of his life for a few days. I cant believe that he would do such a thing he also blocked and deleted me on msn. Ive appologized to him sorry doesnt work for him. Is he being totally unreasonable or am I the one out of line? I hate to say this, but your boyfriend is being an A-hole. DO NOT contact him, call him, nothing. He isn't worth your time or energy. Any guy who s***s on his girlfriend because she called to say I love and miss you is a FOOL!
Author confused _one Posted February 10, 2006 Author Posted February 10, 2006 This isn't damaging our relationship, the only thing it's damaging is your ego. And sorry does work, when you actually are sorry. Unfortunately the only time you say sorry is when you stop getting what you want from me, which is hardly sorry. I'm usually very nice, and very flexible. But there are a few things I don't compromise on - one of them is 'respect'. When you do something blatantly rude and inconsiderate, and not even for the first time then obviously there is a problem. Especialy when you just ignore that I told you about it and say something retarded like 'but I just wanted to...'. Doesn't matter. You know what? It seems like the only time you really care is when you aren't getting what you want. You say in your first email that you'd understand if I don't want to talk to you for a couple days but then you email me again a few hours later and say this isn't fair and blah blah. And of course, you don't feel the slightest bit bad about what you did other than the fact that I don't even want to talk to you right now. (Just saying sorry to get what YOU want.) You know what? That's not sorry, that's just selfish. I thought about just letting it slide and just talking today but now I really don't want to.
Author confused _one Posted February 10, 2006 Author Posted February 10, 2006 I dont know what to do. It looks like its the end of our relationship to me
noclobber Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 From his email it looks like this is not the first time such an incident is happening. Apparently you HAVE done some thing wrong for him to get so worked up. I really don't think a guy will get this mad if his woman wants to call him and say that she loves him.. I may be wrong but i just wanted to see things from his perspective... Care to give us more details about what exactly happened?
Author confused _one Posted February 10, 2006 Author Posted February 10, 2006 well he said he got really mad at me because he was getting into the phase where hes chilling out just about to head to bed. I couldnt get on the phone till around 11 and I saw he was still up on msn so I decided to call him and tell him I loved him but never got to say it because he blew up and started to tell me im an inconsiderate bitch for calling this late. I dont know how to make things right with him.
Author confused _one Posted February 10, 2006 Author Posted February 10, 2006 also because he said he couldnt get back to sleep so he told me it was my fault that he stayed up till 2 am cause I got him out of his sleeping phase, and he had work the next day. However theres a double standard he can call me at 2 am and wake me up but it doesnt go two ways with him. Ive never gotten mad at him for this but he decided since I couldnt fight back because Im really sick in bed for the past week that he would take his chance to blow up at me.
noclobber Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 well he said he got really mad at me because he was getting into the phase where hes chilling out just about to head to bed. I couldnt get on the phone till around 11 and I saw he was still up on msn so I decided to call him and tell him I loved him but never got to say it because he blew up and started to tell me im an inconsiderate bitch for calling this late. I dont know how to make things right with him. If that's the case then I am sorry but your boyfriend has some issues. You saw him online and thats why you called him. Even then he has no reason to be so rude to you. If my girlfriend wakes me up in the middle of the night just to tell me she loves me I would feel so happy... I would suggest that you initiate NC from your side.... and wait to see what he does.
Author confused _one Posted February 10, 2006 Author Posted February 10, 2006 yeah me too but that doesnt really happen. Il try no contact with him although its not gonna make any of this any better. ****ty timing to valentines days coming up
Author confused _one Posted February 10, 2006 Author Posted February 10, 2006 sad too ecause he knew i was defensless in bed sick
catgirl1927 Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 He sounds like he's a little power hungry. I would get away, you can do better than this. What is this 3 day crap? Just consider it over and never speak to him again. Screw that, there are too many fish in the sea for all this soap opera nonsense.
Outcast Posted February 11, 2006 Posted February 11, 2006 If you have not done anything else to make him mad and he's gone THIS ballistic over you calling, then drop him and RUN FAR AND FAST because he's got major anger issues and this will only get worse, and possibly even dangerous. It is ALWAYS a warning, danger, run away sign when a guy gets way too angry over insignificant issues.
tweedle-dee Posted February 11, 2006 Posted February 11, 2006 I agree with everyone else!You shouldn't be calling, you shouldn't apologize, just let him come to you. I am in your shoes right now as well. Even though he'd do the wrongest thing to me he can find his way out and make me look wrong and feel bad that I would say sorry to him and he tells me it doesn't change what happened and it doesn't cut it no more... And god be with my if I disturb his sleep!!!! FOR WHATEVER REASON, maybe if I'm dying he might consider... If you have the courage and haven't done anything else, let it go! Save yourself..
clandestinidad Posted February 11, 2006 Posted February 11, 2006 I totally agree w/ Outcast about RUNNING AWAY NOW AND FAST because of his obvious anger issues. I'll even go as far to say that he's showing the possibility of serious abuse...b/n the anger over a stupid issue, and how he's belligerantly putting crap on you, and cutting you off for a couple days to punish you for your behavior?!?!?! Completely ridiculous, girl LEAVE HIM NOW!!!!!!! If you wait and stick around it will get worse and harder to leave because you will have faith that he'll change or things will get better....or you'll start believing what he says and become a shell of a person.......this relationship will go nowhere but downhill. Its not your problem. He'll be like this with everyone he's with. But it should NOT be YOU!!!
cal gal Posted February 11, 2006 Posted February 11, 2006 Who cares what day is coming up? Don't speak with him! He obviously shows total disrespect to you and talks to you in a condescending way that no woman should put up with. He's done you a great favor - now you no longer have to deal with a jerk! Thank him for sparing you a lifetime of hell.... Now either learn to be happy by yourself for a while - or hang out with friends that are worthy of your company.
stephInDaDistrict Posted February 12, 2006 Posted February 12, 2006 All I can say is EW. My boy has issues too, similiar ones may I add. But if you calling him to say I love you, and he's on MSN probably chatting, (sike) and he carries you, FFFF him. He wasnt sleeping. He wasnt. So he could have been like "girl Iam sleepy, call me tomorrow." or "man didnt I tell you not to disturb me while Iam trying to get my ZZZZZ's, god love you too..." even if he yelled it with an attitude and hung up, it would make more sense than him to get so mad over that and completely cut you off. He's doing it cuz he knows it will drain you if he leaves and you will keep contacting him. Show him the opposite. Show him you have a life too. Go buy a new outfit and make sure he sees you shining in it, and go somewhere you think he will be and hit on another guy, if he doesnt call you then, give up. ( I was kidding, LOL)
ms_jnj Posted February 12, 2006 Posted February 12, 2006 Sound to me like this is all about control. This incident is just another way for him to exert his control over you. Frankly...calling him thinking he's awake when he really isn't...not a big deal. Calling him and waking him up even, not such a big deal. If his sleep is such a big deal to him he can turn off his cell phone or the ringer on his home phone. That's what the rest of us do when we don't want to be disturbed. He is testing the level of control he has over you and the more you give in, the more he will take advantage of your submission. I say...try to muster up the courage to leave him. It is painful to leave someone you love, but you will be lucky to get away now if you can do it.
ms_jnj Posted February 12, 2006 Posted February 12, 2006 P.S. If that's you in your icon, you are goregous! You can do so much better, really! Best of luck!
Mary3 Posted February 12, 2006 Posted February 12, 2006 I totally agree with all the posters and feel its not right for him to talk to you like that * but * I want you to take a closer look at yourself ( I am not condoning anything he did or the way he treated you but rather want you to take a closer look at what you * might * have done to make him get to the point of being so irritated and pissed off that he no longer wants to talk to you. As I look back at myself ( and have made changes ) I see it might be possible you were with someone who didnt * need * to hear your words of love and thought maybe you were clingy and possibly needy, thus needing to hear his words. Now this works great for couples who need reassurance and thrive on the romantic gestures but its entirely possible that he felt suffocated and perturbed by the fact that you called and woke him up. He may not need that type of attention and you deserve better . I am not siding with him but I would SERIOUSLY take a stronger look at yourself ( I had too as well , what a wealth of information I have learned ) But lets assume you were being there too much for a guy who didnt give a crap or want it, well then you are better off without him and can find someone who likes your sweet romantic gestures. This is more a learning experience for you . How many times a day did you call him ?: How much of the day was spent with him ? Did he ever get pissed before at your actions ? We sometimes have to take a HARD look at ourselves. Not to necessarily change ourselves but to see if we are on target for the right way to approach a situation where you wanted to hear that you were loved back. You are better off without him but to answer your behavior and the lack of empathy on his part could open up your eyes to the possibilites . Have you ever had a guy say you are bothering him by showing too much attention. Some guys dont dig it. Well ,they can take a flying leap right ? But meantime , see if your desire to be close was well balanced or was he just being a TOTAL jerk ?
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