silktricks Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 rossi - try really hard not to think about your husband with another woman. It will only cause you pain. Remember, he didn't leave you for her, he left her for you. You are the woman he wants or he wouldn't be with you. Often marriages go through rough times - it's unbelievably painful, but doesn't have to be fatal to your marriage. Hang in there. Love yourself, love him, and trust that your husband loves you, too. 1
newbby Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Remember, he didn't leave you for her, he left her for you. this is a really good point. its true. you say it was only because you caught him that he stopped, but if he liked her that much he would have left you to be with her. he probably did it 5 times, just because he had already done it once, so the other times were easy to do. like everyone else says, really stop imagining them in bed together and also building up that picture with snatches of information you are getting from other peoples stories. you really will not get any accurate information from here anyway, because it is only from the ow's point of view, but i have read stories from the mm's perspective where they say, they didnt even really like the ow. it is usually more to do with the mm than the ow. you say that your h was your first, were you also his first? there could be any reason that he did it, that was nothing really to do with her, but to do with himself. does this make sense?
Babylonia Beaune Posted February 11, 2006 Posted February 11, 2006 Cheating for me it's always the enthusiasm and interest, which my husband never shows and I can't stand being a little pansy on the wall for weeks, months, years, and a lifetime on end. If he did have the level of interest and the enthusiasm, I would not cheat and never would have. I've managed to keep up my interest in him, but no matter what I have done, nothing's worked. Sexually, we're totally mismatched, but in the very beginning it was different--that lasted about two years, so that I married him. I talked and begged and cajoled for ages... went to all ends--. Didn't work. He just scoffed or laughed or brushed me off.
Guest Posted February 11, 2006 Posted February 11, 2006 Cheating for me it's always the enthusiasm and interest, which my husband never shows and I can't stand being a little pansy on the wall for weeks, months, years, and a lifetime on end. If he did have the level of interest and the enthusiasm, I would not cheat and never would have. I've managed to keep up my interest in him, but no matter what I have done, nothing's worked. Sexually, we're totally mismatched, but in the very beginning it was different--that lasted about two years, so that I married him. I talked and begged and cajoled for ages... went to all ends--. Didn't work. He just scoffed or laughed or brushed me off. Why didn't you divorce?
scarletletter Posted February 11, 2006 Posted February 11, 2006 Sex the first time was very thought out and planned for me and MM. We talked about our lives, our marriages that are both headed for divorce, why the marriages failed and what was missing not only emotionally but sexually. I was very intimidated the first time because there were so many emotions involved...fear, excitement, guilt, fear of rejection, fear of falling in love, etc. It turned out to be the most wonderful sexual experience of my life. We both thought it would probably just stay at a sexual level but now it 7 months later it has turned out to be more than he or I ever expected. We depend on each other for the emotional support, romance, understanding and physical need that we cannot get at home. We are both in the same boat and trying to get out of bad situations. I don't know what i would do without him in my life now. He is the one bright spot in an otherwise depressing as hell situation. Its not the sex that makes everything great, but it is a nice bonus. He has the exact same drive as me and we fit together so well. He has opened my world up to new ideas and new experiences sexually that has made me feel whole again. The first time was a little scary, but that would have been with anyone, married or not. Everything is wonderful still and I have no regrets other than we did not meet each other before we met our spouses. I was not raised to be a cheating wife, so I don't know how I allowed myself to do this. I don't ever want to hurt anyone but eventually someone will get hurt. This whole thing is so out of character for me but it is working for now.
Recommended Posts