rossi Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 I would like to know from you OW, how is the sex when you do it the first time with the MM. I ask you this because...
sassiex Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 the first time i had sex with my mm is was a bit like a carry on film, and if you tell exactly why you want to know, i will tell all !!
ThatOneGuy Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Yeah, I would actually know what it was like too. How did it feel to become a homewrecker? Was it fun?
newbby Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 yeah and the first time i had sex with my (ex) mm, was like a sketch from monty python because.....
Author rossi Posted February 10, 2006 Author Posted February 10, 2006 My husband and I have been married for almost 15 years, we had some issues in our marriage not big things. Well, he was having an affair for two months. He ended up as soon as I found out. He said it was the first time he did it, I don't belived, but it was the first time I catch him. He was having sex with me as well with the other W. Who he saw only on Saturdays. What I don't understand how he could had sex with me one night and said he love me and the other day had sex with the OW. It looks like they had fun together, she used to kiss him a lot and make him feel good, otherwise he would stop seeing her. I always think about how was his first time with her, it look like he liked her, as far as I know they had sex five time not sure. Any of you don't have any idea what i been going throuh after five months. Now he is commited to us, very lovely and told me that she did not mean anything to him.
ThatOneGuy Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Sorry for your hardships, I truly am. More and more people these days don't take their vows very seriously.
newbby Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Yeah, I would actually know what it was like too. How did it feel to become a homewrecker? Was it fun? *sigh* arent you the same guy that advised a suicidal person to realise how insignificant he was and get over it?
Walking away Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Don't crucify yourself with wanting to know how it was with her....you will just torture yourself and become obsessed. As an OW who is walking away from my relationship, I can say that you don't really want to know how it was the first time. Take care of yourself and try to put those thoughts out of your mind. Ignorance, in certain situations as this, is bliss.
ThatOneGuy Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 No, actually I was advising him to stop thinking that he was better then everyone else... guess that went over your head Is this a touchy subject for you?
newbby Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 My husband and I have been married for almost 15 years, we had some issues in our marriage not big things. Well, he was having an affair for two months. He ended up as soon as I found out. He said it was the first time he did it, I don't belived, but it was the first time I catch him. He was having sex with me as well with the other W. Who he saw only on Saturdays. What I don't understand how he could had sex with me one night and said he love me and the other day had sex with the OW. It looks like they had fun together, she used to kiss him a lot and make him feel good, otherwise he would stop seeing her. I always think about how was his first time with her, it look like he liked her, as far as I know they had sex five time not sure. Any of you don't have any idea what i been going throuh after five months. Now he is commited to us, very lovely and told me that she did not mean anything to him. i am not sure how you feel that knowing what the first time was like would help you. i think rather, you are torturing yourself with this. i really think you should believe your husband that she did not mean anything to him. i doubt very much that she did. sometimes men have a thing for sexual variety, that women find hard to understand (i know i dont). it seems he also enjoyed having his ego boosted. i dont know if you have ever had meaningless sex with a man, but i have and its completely different to having sex with a man who really cares about you. i doubt very much that it was loving and good sex, in the way you might be imagining it to be. how long ago was the affair, and what steps are you both taking to get past it? do you talk about it together?
newbby Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 No, actually I was advising him to stop thinking that he was better then everyone else... guess that went over your head Is this a touchy subject for you? hardly think the suicidal person thinks they are better than everyone else:rolleyes: and yes, it is a touchy subject, i have been suicidal before:p :p
Author rossi Posted February 10, 2006 Author Posted February 10, 2006 The affair ended up five months ago. The lady was seven years older than him. He said it was the fist time. She was really crazy with him. after three month of the end, she called him craing and thouht he may come back after me feeling better. Yes, I ask him why did hi do that to me, having sex with her after he did it to me . He does not say anything. Please let me know throuht your own expe. how is the first time, just curious to know. Do you think he may think about her, also he told me that he told her that it was a game with out future but she want him for her and trait to get him back.
Author rossi Posted February 10, 2006 Author Posted February 10, 2006 He is the only men that I have sex with, my second kiss also, I don't imagine myself with somebody else.
Walking away Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 If the affair only lasted a few months, I doubt if there was any emotional involvement on his part. Real feelings take time to develop. I am truly sorry that you are in so much pain. I would imagine what you are going through is horrible. However, you need to somehow get through this stage of wanting to know. It will eat you alive.
newbby Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 i think that to him it was very much just a game or a bit of fun. obviously she saw it differently. remember, that women and men often feel differently about sex. i think you would not get any one answer to your question, because every situation is completely different, i also still think that it is something that you are torturing yourself with. please stop doing this to yourself sweetie. having said that, i will tell you how it was with me. it was really awful. he clearly did not have any feelings for me. it was over very quickly, and i ended up feeling very bad. do you feel that this has helped you?
newbby Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 He is the only men that I have sex with, my second kiss also, I don't imagine myself with somebody else. so you have only ever experienced good and loving sex in the context of a loving relationship. it must be very hard to imagine sex as anything else, but believe me, sex without love, is really nothing at all. EVEN for men.
Walking away Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Well said. It is certainly very empty and shallow. Nothing for you to torture yourself about. Trust us on this.
Guest Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 i think that to him it was very much just a game or a bit of fun. obviously she saw it differently. remember, that women and men often feel differently about sex. i think you would not get any one answer to your question, because every situation is completely different, i also still think that it is something that you are torturing yourself with. please stop doing this to yourself sweetie. having said that, i will tell you how it was with me. it was really awful. he clearly did not have any feelings for me. it was over very quickly, and i ended up feeling very bad. do you feel that this has helped you? It looks like that, but he keeps seeing this women for anyreason, who know for how long it would last if i did not find out earlier, it only last two months with five sex relationship. You girls are nice, I would like to ask him how it was his first time with her, but i know he wont tell me. I assume that he liked it because he came back to sleep with her five times
foolinlove Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Our first time was awkward...nervous, on both parts. He told me he felt like a school boy doing it for the first time. He said I am the hottest woman he has ever been with and it made him feel clumsy. He told me it was just for fun.....he didn't love me. Then...a year later....he told me he loved me.... years later....he said he will always love me and can't live without me.... now...we are way past our awkwardness....we have very emotional sex, and he still thinks i'm too hot for him! 1
Guest Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Well said. It is certainly very empty and shallow. Nothing for you to torture yourself about. Trust us on this. You are very sweet to be a OW, who cares you are a human been, I would like to ask you, do you protect yourself when having sex with a marry men, it looks like my husband did not protect himself, he only saw this woman three o four times before having sex as far as i know
Guest Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Our first time was awkward...nervous, on both parts. He told me he felt like a school boy doing it for the first time. He said I am the hottest woman he has ever been with and it made him feel clumsy. He told me it was just for fun.....he didn't love me. Then...a year later....he told me he loved me.... years later....he said he will always love me and can't live without me.... now...we are way past our awkwardness....we have very emotional sex, and he still thinks i'm too hot for him! Does he still with the wife? how old are you?
Sami_D Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 I would like to know from you OW, how is the sex when you do it the first time with the MM. I don't think asking this is going to do you any good. You need to get past the stage of concentrating on what it felt like for her and to concentrate on rebuilding your marriage, if that is what you intend to do. Besides, as other people have said here, what it felt like for the OW is probably irrelevant, probably quite different to what it felt like for him. I would suggest you take a look at the forums on this site, which will better help you to get over what has happened. http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/welcome.asp
foolinlove Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Does he still with the wife? how old are you? No, they are seperated....heading for D. I am 26.
newbby Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 i notice rossi/guest, that you are focussing on the one story that would make you feel bad. try the link sami sent you, and think about some individual counselling, or some sort of therapy. my personal favourites for dealing with obsessive thoughts are meditation and yoga.
Walking away Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 You are very sweet to be a OW, who cares you are a human been, I would like to ask you, do you protect yourself when having sex with a marry men, it looks like my husband did not protect himself, he only saw this woman three o four times before having sex as far as i know We had the "talk" about STD's before we had sex. No, we did not protect ourselves as far as using a condom. I was not nor have been promiscuous in my life, so STD's were not an issue with us.
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