kellyp1 Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 So, this was the closing message from this guy I had dated: "I think you are a very good person and it will be my loss. And i know it!! I was not ready to meet someone good, sexy and very cute like you...I know i will be kicking my self when i'm 60 and alone and thinking I shouldn't mess things up with you!" Screw being a good person, it's like he is trying hard not to feel bad for being an ass. We broke up because he decided after 3 months, that he was going to back away because it felt too fast for him. I hadn't even asked him about exclusive dating! This is why I want to give up on dating! You are battling with a guys head when you date.
noclobber Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 You really shouldn't be kicking yourself 'cos you didn't do anything wrong. That guy was correct in a way, it is HIS loss, not yours!! Don't get stuck, just move on!
clandestinidad Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Yes, Kelly...I totally agree w/ everything you said
ThatOneGuy Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 You really shouldn't be kicking yourself 'cos you didn't do anything wrong. That guy was correct in a way, it is HIS loss, not yours!! Don't get stuck, just move on! Agreed, It's not your fault. And also agreed, that you shouldn't get stuck on this and develop some sort of crazy male-hate. There are already enough penis-hating feminist’s in the word. I mean, sure, some guys are total jerkoffs. That’s a given. But, some girls are just total bitches, alright? It’s not a male/female thing, it’s a humanity thing. People suck.
cygny Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 I hadn't even asked him about exclusive dating! This is why I want to give up on dating! You are battling with a guys head when you date. i laughed when i read this. so true. lol
ThatOneGuy Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Once again sexism triumphs over logic. Why am I not surprised?
BlahBlahQueen Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 So, this was the closing message from this guy I had dated: "I think you are a very good person and it will be my loss. And i know it!! I was not ready to meet someone good, sexy and very cute like you...I know i will be kicking my self when i'm 60 and alone and thinking I shouldn't mess things up with you!" Screw being a good person, it's like he is trying hard not to feel bad for being an ass. We broke up because he decided after 3 months, that he was going to back away because it felt too fast for him. I hadn't even asked him about exclusive dating! This is why I want to give up on dating! You are battling with a guys head when you date. Translation: "I can objectively see that you're great, and I'll say so, so I won't look like a huge jerk - but sorry, chick, you just bore the crap out of me. You wore out your shelf life here."
cygny Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Once again sexism triumphs over logic. Why am I not surprised? nah this isn't sexism, this is quite funny. there's always the 'head-armour' to deal with, lol.
CaliGuy Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Kelly, not all guys are jerks, it's just that some just don't know what the heck they want. Consider yourself lucky, now you can find someone better. It's a pain, yes, but each failure is one step closer to success.
ThatOneGuy Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 nah this isn't sexism, this is quite funny. there's always the 'head-armour' to deal with, lol. Well, if this was a man talking about how unreasonable females are, there would be 5 chicks screaming sexism. I just thought I'd throw it out there in an attempt to change the double-standard, but it didn't work.
CaliGuy Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Well, if this was a man talking about how unreasonable females are, there would be 5 chicks screaming sexism. Not too many guys who feel the need to come to LS are sexist. I just thought I'd throw it out there in an attempt to change the double-standard, but it didn't work. Don't let it get to you, man. Life's too short to sweat the small stuff.
SmoochieFace Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Well, if this was a man talking about how unreasonable females are, there would be 5 chicks screaming sexism. And I bet I could name those five too!
whichwayisup Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 He wasn't ready, the timing isn't right! Also, I'm telling you, you did nothing wrong Kelly! NOT all men are like that. Just means that he infact wasn't the one for you. Plus, he could have emotional baggage you don't know about, some hidden fears of getting too close. I'm sure he fell deeply for you, but he just couldn't handle the feelings.
cygny Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Well, if this was a man talking about how unreasonable females are, there would be 5 chicks screaming sexism. I just thought I'd throw it out there in an attempt to change the double-standard, but it didn't work. ah come on, TOG--i never even knew what a bitter man was til i came on this site. or how cruel a player could really be when it came to a woman's emotions. really! lighten up! I'm just having fun with it!
Author kellyp1 Posted February 11, 2006 Author Posted February 11, 2006 You all replied what I knew, this guy is 33 and not looking to be with one girl. Problem is, most are like that. I have heard I am a nice, beautiful, sexy, cute girl for years now. Just not bitch enough I guess... Which sucks. You have to act and be someone different because you are battling the demons in people's heads. It sucks!
7on Posted February 11, 2006 Posted February 11, 2006 You all replied what I knew, this guy is 33 and not looking to be with one girl. Problem is, most are like that. I have heard I am a nice, beautiful, sexy, cute girl for years now. Just not bitch enough I guess... Which sucks. You have to act and be someone different because you are battling the demons in people's heads. It sucks! Tell me about it.My first urge when I like someone is to tell them. However, doing so will not only A) make me seem to fast or B) scare her away. Probably A leads to B but I was never good at math. So the only way to do things is to pretend to be aloof and wait for the woman's confirmation that the feeling it mutual. I think my main problem is I tend to bottle up the emotions and then love is like the cork coming off. In the past week I've been happy, enraged, depressed, emo, hyper, nauseous and of course in love. I just can't seem to keep the cork on until I have no one to love. It could be that I am feeling love but have no outlet to express it thus causing the other emotions. I'll figure it out. Anyway, I just found out my parents knew each other for only 6 months before getting hitched. At least now I know where it comes from o_O And back to the topic... I wish people wouldn't try and be nice in a breakup. It'd be more beneficial to the other person to be able to let you go if they thought you were a jerk. That's my opinion on the matter.
stephInDaDistrict Posted February 12, 2006 Posted February 12, 2006 Dont feel bad. There are alot of girls who think its the end. Iam in a dilema myself, but its not the end of the world. I am definatley not gonna blame all men for what one a**h*** did to me.
stephInDaDistrict Posted February 12, 2006 Posted February 12, 2006 Oh yeah, about the whole mind games thing. I AGREE 1000000%. You are battling someones mind. Like for example, my horoscope profile couldnt be more right. I wear my heart on my sleeve. You might not know exactly whats wrong with me, but you know something is wrong, or if something you did just bothered me. This dude knows exactly what to do to bother me and when, just after 3 months. He knows if I switched brands of foundation. Thats how much attention this guy pays to me. So we do it to ourself too ya know. I let him in on too much I guess and let myself be so predictable.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted February 12, 2006 Posted February 12, 2006 So, this was the closing message from this guy I had dated: "I think you are a very good person and it will be my loss. And i know it!! I was not ready to meet someone good, sexy and very cute like you...I know i will be kicking my self when i'm 60 and alone and thinking I shouldn't mess things up with you!" Screw being a good person, it's like he is trying hard not to feel bad for being an ass. We broke up because he decided after 3 months, that he was going to back away because it felt too fast for him. I hadn't even asked him about exclusive dating! This is why I want to give up on dating! You are battling with a guys head when you date. I suspect that when the most important criteria for women selecting mates ceases to be bank accounts, prestige and whose genetics would make for the best offspring, then there will be room to grumble when negotiations fall through. Me thinks that he is only an "ass" because he had one or more of these traits to which you were drawn, and he took it/them away from you. If there was something flat-out wrong in his stance (as reported), then I sure couldn't find it. It sounds most like he was being entirely honest with you and that you didn't want to hear it (likely for reasons A, B, or C above). I'd suggest that if you cease to play games with men then you will start drawing the interest of men who are non-game-players. (Workable translation: stop trying so hard right now, and it will happen...)
Author kellyp1 Posted February 12, 2006 Author Posted February 12, 2006 I make plenty of money, own my own house and am probably one of the most easy going people you would ever meet. He admitted to me about 1 month into our 3 month dating that he was starting to freak himself out because we were getting along so well. And he could never fully shake that from his head. It just killed me to read his email (one of 3 he sent that day) because it was pointless and actually made me angry. It was his own head trip that took him to that place, I was the one who ended it because of how he was acting. I will never say that I did everything right but I certainly tried to make things work. I have never dated anyone for any of the reasons you listed, nor would I. I like the man that has flaws, like myself, that you know is human and more importantly, a man. I don't care if he cleans women's restrooms, runs a Fortune 500 company or manages a bar. I would want him to be able to take care of his own obligations and that he would enjoy spending time with me not see it as him not spending time doing something else. What I want is actually really simple - but battling the heads trips makes me feel it won't happen.
clandestinidad Posted February 12, 2006 Posted February 12, 2006 Yeah, Kelly, that post before yours was a little random and out-of-line IMO. Just try to ignore that one....and you shouldnt have to defend and explain yourself and your values like that.
helena abadi Posted February 12, 2006 Posted February 12, 2006 ah come on, TOG--i never even knew what a bitter man was til i came on this site. or how cruel a player could really be when it came to a woman's emotions. really! lighten up! I'm just having fun with it! reading about the cruelty of players has been really enlightening for me. no conscience, no decency, no compassion, no thoughts at all for the havoc they wreak. all the ingredients for a mass murderer. scary. and reading about bitter men has been a revelation too. women need to read the bitter men threads and quit whinging so much about being victims.
Mary3 Posted February 12, 2006 Posted February 12, 2006 Penis hating ? How could that ever be possible ?
SuperMonk Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 There is a double standard in the dating world when it comes to the "little princesses" of the world vs the evil scary man. But I don't worry too much about it, I make a statement at the hypocrisy of woman while knowing deep inside, it'll take 5 women to equate the strength of 1 of me. It'll take 3 women to equate the brilliance of mechanically solving an issue while it'll take 1 of me. And kellyp1, the truth is.. the dude you were dating found someone else better and he just wasn't all that into you. Suck it up though, cause the dating scene is always given women power, except when they are over 30, ugly, fat, etc. Then there's reason to be bitter like the guys who are ugly, fat, nerdy.
Mary3 Posted February 13, 2006 Posted February 13, 2006 It'll take 3 women to equate the brilliance of mechanically solving an issue while it'll take 1 of me. ```````` Gosh , has anyone seen my screwdriver ?
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