dd1463 Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Hello, I have been with my girlfriend for 12 months. She is my first girlfriend, my first love, and we also lost our virginities to each other. I would say the last 12 months have been the best of my life, we have been through lots of good times! The problem is that I just don’t feel it anymore... I don’t miss her like I use to. I almost never think of her. I do enjoy her company when we are together, but I just don’t feel like I love her anymore. I can't say thing are bad, we almost never argue, we have a good time when we are with each other. I just don’t think I love her. I want to meet other girls, be with other people. Since this is my first girlfriend, this would also be my first break up... its sooo hard. She has had several other boyfriends, but I am her first real relationship, her first love. I do care for her, ALOT! I don’t want to hurt her, I feel like I want out but at the same time I wont break up because I know it will hurt her. I do and I don’t want to break up with her... I am soo lost. Please help! She is such a great person! The last thing I want to do is hurt her Just thinking about her hurting makes me want to cry right now... Help! We are both 18 just so you know...
contradikt Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 You are a good person dd1463, and this sounds like an extremely tough situation. There is potential all around for things to go very wrong, but that shouldn't stop you from doing what is right. I think you know what you need to do already. Some thoughts: - Have you spoken to her about it? Perhaps, if you bring the topic up in a gentle, open way you will be surprised by what she has been thinking. Has she been showing signs of insecurity lately? It is very hard to fool people. They seem to know, instinctively, that something is up. Maybe she is having similar thoughts to you? How would that affect you? - Be honest. To both yourself, and to her. This is paramount. - Realise that whilst this will probably hurt her a lot, you are going to be hurting too. You have a responsibility towards each other to treat each other fairly, to deal with your emotions in a mature way, and to not mess with each others heads. - Read other posts here. Spend days if you have to. Get a better idea of the things that go wrong with break-ups, the ways that people get hurt the most, the questions they want answered, the underlying issues that come up. - You might find that it will be a lot harder on you than you may think now. Balance goes out the window when a relationship is over and it becomes a battle to behave in the right way. Prepare yourself for anything. Hope this helps, all the best
contradikt Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 One more note - Be careful. It sounds like you have a good thing going here, a nice girl who you care about a lot. Look inside yourself. Have you got other personal things going on that are stressing you out? You are quite young and I imagine you are going through a lot. I bet she is too! I'm just saying you should be quite sure before you make a decision. It will be very hard to go back on it, if you start feeling that way. Let go of fear, insecurity. Give her the respect to have an honest and open discussion with her. Be prepared to miss her a lot, and for pressure and stress from her. Be a good person.
sandra Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 hi!! I can sorta relate to how you feel. I have a feeling that's how my boyfriend feels about me right now. I think you both have some thing special going on. Why don't you try and do something new with her, something fun, wild whatever to spice up your relationship. Give your relationship a chance. Give it some time. You're probably going through a phase. I think it's normal that you feel the way you do. You're young, not a virgin anymore, you're probably curious about what's out there. Weigh out the pros and cons before making your decision. You're young and have all time in the world. Like the other posters said, " take your time and think about it". Hope I kinda helped. Good Luck!!
daydream_gurl Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 wow I'm in quite a similar situation. I've been with my first love for just over 3 years. We've been having more small problems lately and even though I still love him, I broke up with him tonight. I feel terrible and have no idea if i made the right decision. Hopefully you'll come to a better understanding than me.
Starfish Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Hi dd1463 - I have to agree with what contradikt has said, and that's just be honest. Be honest with yourself - do some soul searching. Have an open and honest discussion with her. Honesty is such a fundamental element in any type of a relationship. Regardless of what you ultimately decide, I'm quite sure that, underneath it all, she'll appreciate and respect you more for being forthcoming. Good luck to you.
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