Confused5433 Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 WOW, my story is probably like many of you....special, magical, like a movie or a dream. I meet my ex in June 05, we feel in love instantly. I left for the month of August to South America, and when I got back it was magic all over again, but stronger....then he did what most guys do, he cheated. I caught him, and it was over in early September. I was so devastated, but determined to be without him. Then late october he insisted on seeing me again, and I couldn't resist, I missed him and gave him a second chance. So we got together and our bond seemed to be even stronger than before. He promised that he learned his lesson and was a different man. We stayed together, but always faught, I always got mad at him for not being considerate of my feelings and for always putting himself first. Basically, I realized who he was and tried to change him....if he loved me, he would right?? I guess I learned. But just a week ago, he did the unthinkable. We got into a huge argument, I sent him home and he txt messaged me that he didn't love me, and never did. That it was over and that I would feel how much he didn't love me. Im bothered because he would take such drastic measure to blow me off, without considering everything we went through. I forgived him for everything: cheating, lying, being late hrs for our date, ignoring me, giving more attention to his friends, not being considerate of my problems or feelings, etc. The list goes on, but when I did something to him (with reason) he tossed me like a used piece of paper. He even went as far as to tell me he slept with girls after our fight and now has a girlfriend. It's devastating....why do men/women do those things??? Even if I was in his position and didn't love anymore, I couldn't hurt someone feelings like that. This was the first time in my life I opened my heart and loved someone so deeply like him, it was an incredible feeling. He told me the same things, and said more, like I was to be his wife. He was more committed than I was, which made me secure in our relationship. I don't regret loving like this, I just regret having loved someone as cruel as him. He said some things, which I could not write, but with no respect or consideration of me at all. Is not like a cheated on him, I just go MAD and didn't want to talk to him. Anyhow, my fear is that I won't find that passionate love ever again. Even with the bad, this was such an intense relationship, the one that makes your dream and forget about everything but that one special person. Like a real dream..... If you have found love for the second time, please let me know and any advice to help me heal will be really appreciated it
WindDrifter Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 I have been lucky enough to find love on 3 occasions in my life I am 26 now. On one occasion I fell in love with someone who thought the exact same as you. She moved it with a guy loved him so much. She lost her virginity with him and all was great but then he just went and brought someone home one night where we was clubbing and said its over. When we got together she was always afraid she would never feel that spark but I was lucky enough to feel that spark with her. It will come back and it will be even better. Keep being your self keep learning about love and life. You are a great person and you will be happy soon. Cheers, WD
Blue in Texas Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Confused. I am really sorry to hear about your experience. You must be hurting a lot. You will certainly find love a second time. And you will be more experienced and more likely to find the sort of man you deserve. Your last bf has a lot of unresolved issues (ironically I'm sure it's b/c he cared a lot that he was a jerk. People who are indifferent can't be bothered to work up such anger). You cannot understand his actions b/c they are totally outside of your experience. And all that means is that you are a good person. You will heal fastest if you have absolutely nothing to do with him. And by crying when you feel sad, and by getting out and forcing yourself to do things. You will find love when you least expect it and when you are ready. Hang in there.
Author Confused5433 Posted February 11, 2006 Author Posted February 11, 2006 Thank you Both so much for your replies. Thankfully enough, I never slept with him. I think the pain of losing my virginity to someone like him would have really torn me apart. However, I can't stop thinking about him...what he is doing (which I know for sure he is sleeping with this girl), if he thinks of me, does he miss me at all, will he remember our relationship as something special like I do, or a waste of time. I can't stop myself, I go out with friends, to dinner, movies..etc. But he is always in my mind, and sometimes I cry when Im alone and I MISS HIM!!! It's hard...I swear, is like you have to force your body to do regular things...the energy is just drained out of you. And the worse part, is not having someone next to you to hold you and make you feel less lonely. I know I have to be strong, but sometimes I can't. I really appreciate both of your advices, and I hope I get to find someone special that can erase my ex out of my heart. I know I will never forget this relationship, but I just want to remove this feeling which is killing me inside. God bless you both and good luck with your current or future relationships
Blue in Texas Posted February 11, 2006 Posted February 11, 2006 Confused. This is as hard as it is going to get for you. Your feelings are so normal. Your brain tells you one thing and your heart won't listen. The thing that has worked for me is to keep a journal. Every time I want to talk to her, I write in my journal instead. It will keep you occupied during those bad moments when you are alone and it hurts the most. Hang in there.
Recommended Posts