Roarz Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Whoops, I posted this in "Breakups" but I meant to post it here.. It's been almost 4 months since the breakup now and I am still not feeling too much better. My old situation with her was that I came home from college (she was still in highschool) an hour away to see her every single weekend. When she get's here, she breaks up with me when everything seemed cool. Then she gets a new boyfriend and it turns out he lives in our hometown and doesn't go to our school (don't know if he is still in highschool or not) and now SHE goes back every weekend to see him. I don't understand, why would having a long distance relationship be so enticing, especially when I am right here? I guess it just makes me feel even worse, that she'd go home every weekend just for him but still doesn't love me even when I'm here. It's only been about a month and she already "loves" him and drives back every weekend. I just don't understand why she would pursue this LDR. Can anyone enlighten? I'm trying to let go of this but it's just so hard.
ThatOneGuy Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Some girls prefer space rather then having a closer relationship. Yes, it's weird. No, it does not make sense. But, still. Anyway, I know it must be difficult, but I really think you should take the time to move on. I know you love her but... it's over. Anyway, good luck on whatever you decide to do, I think you'll be fine in the long run.
CaliGuy Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Roarz, I can't remember if you mentioned this or not but are you going to Counseling?
Author Roarz Posted February 10, 2006 Author Posted February 10, 2006 No way man, I learned a while ago that NC is best. I went so far as to straight up tell her to just stay out of my life for now and I have no intention of breaking NC (even though the want is still there, I will not let it get the best of me). I am just still agonizing over all these unanswered questions, especially the one about her new boyfriend. Strangely I'd feel better if her new boyfriend was here, as that would make sense, but for a person that just came out of a 1 year LDR to enter right into another, just boggles my mind, especially when I myself am right here if she so chose to have me. I guess I am just having trouble coping because the college I am at right now is not right for me and never has been. I only came here for her (I know it's bad now to make important decisions based on others, but what's done is done). It'll get better as soon as I can move away from here and be with my friends, but until then I'm stuck here with reminders of her all around me.
Author Roarz Posted February 10, 2006 Author Posted February 10, 2006 I'm not going to counseling currently, no....because I am not sure if I need it. I don't know if I'm this way because of a true problem, or just because I am at an extremely small school and am paranoid I will see her (which I did today, which is what set off the feelings for this post; feeling a lot better now). I am trying to take steps to correct this locale problem (transferring after this semester) but until the summer I am stuck. Posting little random topics like this helps me get by though. Recently I've thought a lot too about the so called "self esteem" issues and other problems I thought I had which I was only magically aware of since the break up. I question whether or not I actually have these problems (I don't think I do personally), or if I invented the idea of these problems in order to cope with not understanding why she would not want to be with me. In essence, a problem is something tangible that is fixable and that idea gives me a sort of control and understanding over the situation which doesn't otherwise exist (say if you're perfect [no one is, but just for sake of explanation], and things still don't go your way, there's nothing you really could have done or can do. That's hard to swallow.) I wonder if this is a kind of coping mechanism that people have. What do you guys think?
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