Guest Posted February 9, 2006 Posted February 9, 2006 I feel like I should start off by defending the fact that I belong to an online dating site, but really, it's 2006. And I think it's good to 'put yourself out there', even in a cyber way. So here's my story I honestly don't take the site very seriously - just log on a couple times a week and see who's out there. Well, I saw this pic of a truly gorgeous guy and figured what the hey and sent him my interest. Well, long story short, we ended up chatting on MSN a few days later and met up a few days after that. He's very good looking, attentive, incredibly funny, blah blah blah. You name the attribute I've been looking for: he's got it in spades. Including the most elusive: emotionally available. So what's the trouble, you ask. And this is weird. He really seems to like me - compliments me etc. At one point he (jokingly) said - alright, you're perfect. Lets just go get your stuff so you can move in. Ha. Ha. At this point, I didn't even know his last name (I do now). This conversation only happened on like the second or third date. With everything else seeming to line up perfectly, am I totally insane to feel like I want to put the brakes on a bit? I can't seem to throw caution to the wind and fall for him. He has asked me to be his date for Valentines and that kind of freaks me out (just a bit) because of all the pressure. I'm worried that I'll end up having the conversation to slow it down and he'll take it wrong like I don't want to see him anymore. Which, of course, I do. I just don't need keys to his house quite yet. To keep it in perspective, we've only known each other about a month and have gotten together 5 or 6 times, but those times we do get together are pretty intense. No sex yet though. I'd love some input on this. I feel like the 'guy' sometimes - just wanting to take it easy and let things happen. Can this guy be for real? Have I been horribly jaded by past relationships that I can't just take a good thing and enjoy it? Thanks for listening...
whichwayisup Posted February 9, 2006 Posted February 9, 2006 Be honest with him and let him know your fears. And most of all, listen to your gut. It usually doesn't lie. The fact you two have met in real life is good, and try to talk on the phone more than chatting online. Online it may be easier to open up and share, but if this new budding friendship is going to go somewhere, keep it offline. Try to meet eachother's friends, see how he interacts with them. Look for little things, how he handles himself, his moods etc...
CaliGuy Posted February 9, 2006 Posted February 9, 2006 Any relationship that starts off on fire is sure to fizzle out just as fast. Take things slow, no need to rush into moving in together. I'm always a bit leery of things seem too good to be true, because usually they are. If he truly sees value in you then he will be willing to take things at YOUR pace, not his.
Mz. Pixie Posted February 9, 2006 Posted February 9, 2006 Your post made me get creepy. When I first separated I met a guy online and he was the same as this guy. He was gorgeous, made plenty of money, was divorced with four kids. As we went into the relationship he was way too needy and overdoing it- after two dates he was telling me that he was falling in love with me and I was like, "WHOOOOAAAHHHHHH". All of a sudden I get a phone call from a woman telling me to leave her boyfriend alone. Turns out he had a long time girlfriend, who had CANCER and he was cheating on her with me. Beware of anyone who comes on too strong too quick. There are some issues there somewhere.
riobikini Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 Listen and listen well to your posters. They have told you the following: 1) Your 'gut' does not normally lie. 2) Relationships that begin 'on fire' normally fizzle out just as quick. 3) He's likely to be more in need of you than you are of him. Listen. And read, throroughly, especially the shape the poster was left in, and my reply in post #2, in the following link: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=706053#post706053 Take care. -Rio
Jayelle Posted February 10, 2006 Posted February 10, 2006 I think that you should just RELAX. You've only seen this guy 5 or 6 times in a month. And already you feel a little overwhelmed? Take a deep look and see if you are even ready to have a relationship. If you think that you do want a relationship....just go with the flow. You guys are not going to get engaged anytime soon. If he is as great at you say he is, I don't see the problem in going on a date with him for Valentine's day. Spend time with him and let your feeling grow. Do you feel truly comfortable around him? If so, don't get all inside your head and freak yourself out over every little thing.
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