My_Other_I Posted February 9, 2006 Posted February 9, 2006 I was asked out on a date. I see this guy (work related) on regular bases. We were talking and he asked me out. At first I thought it would be fun. Now I have doubts. My doubts are: 1) He waited exactly three days to call me. He is either playing games or is confused by the 'dating rules' that girls like to throw at guys. I believe that if you are interested, you call when you want and don't follow some teenage dating book 2) He shows interest in me but only if I am the only girl around. When other girls are around, he ignores me and flirts with them. I realized that AFTER I gave him my number 3) I am not really intereted in him. My Q is: Am I honest with him and tell him what I really think and why I'm not interested, or am I nice and lie my way out? For you, men, what is more acceptable to hear? Would you appreciate honesty or 'white lies' that don't hurt your feelings? Thanks for your replies! MOI
Curmudgeon Posted February 9, 2006 Posted February 9, 2006 Simply tell him that while you appreciate the thought and invitation, you really don't think it would work for you. If he presses for a reason you can tell him that you're just not really interested but hope the two of you can continue to work together as you have in the past. That way no one gets hurt or pressured.
Author My_Other_I Posted February 9, 2006 Author Posted February 9, 2006 That makes perfect sense! Thanks! I think too much about things.
amerikajin Posted February 9, 2006 Posted February 9, 2006 The first two points you raise are strictly in your head - he may be trying to hold back for fear of not knowing what you want. Don't judge him on those grounds until you've had time to notice patterns. There's nothing inherently wrong with the three-day rule at all, and chances are he's only going off of his experiences...which is to say that women generally do not like it when a guy calls within the next day or two - that's a cold, hard fact. Sure, there are exceptions but he doesn't know you so he's going with the law of averages here. It's the third one that's the kicker. If you're not interested, why did you give him the idea that you would be? Take it from someone who thinks too much...you're probably thinking too much.
CaliGuy Posted February 9, 2006 Posted February 9, 2006 Tell him you've done some thinking and that you don't think it's a good idea to get involved with someone from work. And really, that's not just an excuse, it's good advice too.
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