ChaseYng2005 Posted February 9, 2006 Posted February 9, 2006 "Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together." Anonymous "The hottest love has the coldest end." -Socrates "I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken -- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived." -Margaret Mitchell (this one almost made me cry) "Better never to have met you in my dream than to wake and reach for hands that are not there." -Otomo No Yakamochi "If you really want to get revenge on the 'other woman', go to church, get in touch with your God and your own spirituality, take really good care of your children, keep your health and appearance in top form, go back to school and take some classes, work with your therapist on understanding what has happened and how you can cope with it best, and then proceed to live your life by the highest possible standards you can muster, with either the bible or just very high morals and values as your roadmap. That'll show the skank who really matters!" -Beth from the Infidelity Board " I don't miss him, I miss who I thought he was." " The pain of having a broken heart is not so much as to kill you, yet not so little as to let you live." "It takes a couple seconds to say Hello, but forever to say Goodbye." " Sometimes the person you really need is the one you didn't think you wanted." (From a Dumper obviously) "There's this place in me where your finger tips still rest... your kisses still linger and your whispers softly echo... It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me." "I wonder, when you look into my eyes and watch my heart shatter, does it break your heart too, even crack it a little bit?" "I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose." Rita Rudner
Ruff Ryder Posted February 9, 2006 Posted February 9, 2006 To love is easy but it aint easy to walk away- def leppard miss you in a heart beat Pain is love and to love is to know pain- Ja rule Its not love if it doesnt feel that way- Cant remember Its only love if they are hurting too- Cant remember
Author ChaseYng2005 Posted February 9, 2006 Author Posted February 9, 2006 Its only love if they are hurting too- Cant remember I like that one. You live in South Africa? Wow.
Ruff Ryder Posted February 9, 2006 Posted February 9, 2006 Yea its madness here. all the same its just the heat that gets to you. So whats your story? Why you posting that just want to help people or is there something deeper inspiring it?
Author ChaseYng2005 Posted February 9, 2006 Author Posted February 9, 2006 Heres my story: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t80787/ And just to get some advice. This is the letter I sent him. It has no personal info, so I dont mind. I am doing fine myself, and I hope you are well too. I didn't think it wise to call you, and I hope I don't regret emailing you. I just don't want to go backwards again. It's funny how we met almost a year ago, and from day one we were always close like we'd known each other forever. There was no discomfort like it was with other men. I still remember that first day, where you sat at table 209. You asked for a roman coke, it was captain morgan. I'll never forget that look in your eyes, and knowing you were watching me as I walked away. I turned to look back, and saw the biggest grin on your face, and I don't think I've ever blushed that hard. Things went great for quite a while, but I started to hit some bumps in life, and instead of supporting me, you wrote me this: "John, I dont know where you are going, but I hope that you will have a place to stay and lay ur head. I was gonna call you yesterday, but I couldnt. I had to figure out what to say to you. I was trying to figure out how to say this without hurting your feelings any more than I already have but I cant. So I am just gonna have to say this bluntly. I am sorry but I cant be friends with you at this point. Being friends with you will complicate things between us. Because the longer we hang out, the longer you will think that we have a chance of being together, when what I want is someone else. When you walked out on me and then called me and asked why I couldnt love you and why we couldnt be in a relationship, that really upset me. (You got upset with me because I asked you a questions!) And I knew at that moment we cant be friends like this. I think the best thing for us to do is to just stop talking to each other for now. Maybe later on in life we can try to be friends again, but for now we have to part ways. I hope everything works out for u. And I hope u find someone that will take care of u and love u like u deserve. U are a good person, John, dont forget that. I will not forget you, so dont worry about that. You have my e-mail, so if u need to vent u will have that. I will read them and I will respond. But I think we should stop talking on the phone and in person. Please find someone to talk to and help u. Because I cant, I am the problem. Have a great life and please try and get yourself and your life together. That is the only advice I can ever give you. Be good..............." I was confused. I only asked you questions. I didnt see you as a boyfriend, but as a good friend who I was intimate with. You made it complicated by going backwards, and I was just trying to figure out how and why this happened, and how to stop it. However, in November, you had a change of heart. You asked me to help you leave "it" (you seem to want to call him that, so I will). You said "it" had hurt you too much, and would never change. That the only reason you were with "it" was because it was what you are used to. You said if it wasnt for "it" you would not have what you have. I told you, but if it wasnt for "it," think of all the things you would have, but you DONT. You agreed, we moved closer again, but every now and then you'd move apart. You tried to find this balance between Glenn, your own life, and me. I was patient, but I made it very clear in my mind that one day you would choose to cut something loose. I know that "it" has a lot of roots in your life because his brother-in-law is your boss, if you ever lost house, you could of course have him to fall back on, and "it" is introverted and never changes or takes challenging risks in life, which means you could hold on to him for life and not worry about him going too far. You would never let go of yourself, which leaves ME. You see me as young, not afraid of taking risks, and then you believe in that lingering possibility that someone better than you would come along, or one day I'll advance in life and leave you. So it got to the point where all we did was talk on the phone. I asked you for one freakin day, and you still had to cut it short because you thought that no matter what, you could have your way with me and I'd always be there, or that if I left, I probably would have just left anways. If you didnt think all of what I just stated, call me wrong. So Monday I was prepared to let it all go, you just started beating me to the punch line. It was so obvious on that day that we had gone backwards again. You went in the other room so I couldnt hear your conversation with "it" and then you scowled at me because you thought I was trying to make noise so he could hear me. Do you really think so lowly of my integrity?? Whenever I tried to touch you, instead of telling me what was going on, you just curled away from me. I was determined to end the games, but in order to do so I needed answers, so I asked. The things you told me made it so much easier to follow through with what I had planned. I still care about you and love you, but I think its best that I stay away until I can see you as a non-intimate friend. And right now, Im not prepared to do that. You don't have to respond to this at all, I just wanted to let you know why I didnt return your call, and that this is how I feel and where I stand, and noone is going to change my mind, or force me into accepting something I do not want.
Ruff Ryder Posted February 9, 2006 Posted February 9, 2006 That couldnt be nice. How you holding up after all that? Shame seems everone needs just that much help and advise from time to time I sure did and is changing my life around.
Author ChaseYng2005 Posted February 9, 2006 Author Posted February 9, 2006 Luckily Im about to be in bed soon, which means I can be by myself and cry. I just need to let the tears go every now and then. Ill get over this.
Ruff Ryder Posted February 9, 2006 Posted February 9, 2006 Hey there, Just get him out your system. Tears shows that there was something there. But better leave him or the tears will always be there. sleep well. Ruff
skeptik224 Posted February 9, 2006 Posted February 9, 2006 I feel your pain, Chase. Crying is a good way to relieve all the negative emotions. I find myself at times crying out of the blue. I know how hard it is when you want so bad to be with someone and can't because you deserve more. I actually have been meditating which is a great emotional relief as well. It allows me to put peace in my heart - even if it's only temporary. RR...I've followed your story. You've come a long way. Be as strong as you are to benefit yourself but don't let it get in the way of something you want.
CaliGuy Posted February 9, 2006 Posted February 9, 2006 "A pretty faaaaace, don't mean a pretty heart." - Robert Palmer Someone else posted a good one: "Love is a heavy stone to carry when carried by only one person." I like the: "I'm not in love with you, I am in love with the person I thought you were." comment. Fits how I feel about the ex perfectly.
skeptik224 Posted February 9, 2006 Posted February 9, 2006 How are you doing these days, Cali? Any word since your "junk mail" correspondance? Another one that's on one of these posts that I liked a lot is.. "silence is the most profound goodbye you'll never hear" These are all great quotes!
CaliGuy Posted February 9, 2006 Posted February 9, 2006 How are you doing these days, Cali? Any word since your "junk mail" correspondance? I'm doing great, thanks. Hardly think about her anymore. The simple fact is i know I deserve better and there's no reason for me to lament a love lost that was really only one-sided to begin with. I'm doing pretty well and feel I am ready to start seeing someone regularly.
skeptik224 Posted February 9, 2006 Posted February 9, 2006 Sweet...glad to hear you're doing so well.
Author ChaseYng2005 Posted February 13, 2006 Author Posted February 13, 2006 An amazing update....my ex agreed with my letter and thanked me. He said he never wanted me out of his life again, and that he would let noone, not even his ex come between us.........we had a lot of good realizations yesterday..and just in time for valentines day.
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