NightsInWhiteSatin Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 Me and my b/f are in love with eachother and have been together for almost 7 months. He lets me down quite alot mostly due to his work, tiredness and non existant memory and i've come to learn this isnt deliberate. Sun night - i watched him play at his gig...just watched him...didnt really spend time with him...then he stayed at mine and just fell asleep as soon as we got in. Mon night - i did the pub quiz with his mates while he read it out because he is the quiz master for his local...then he spend ages on the gambling machine with a mate.. then we went back to his...he cooked then he went to sleep. Tues morn - we woke up had sex which was different to our usual love making in a negative way...then we had to go get his car fixed...on the way home we popped into his mates where he spent hours fixing a guitar. Tues afternoon - he washed his car, while i cleaned the inside...then we had tea and rushed off to his bands rehearsal. Tues eve - i sat for hours watching him rehearse...then he dropped me off. Wed afternoon - i was supposed to watch him play a gig tonight, all his friends and family and family friends think im going because he asked me too but i've just asked him and he said he wont be able to take me because one of the band members are with him and there's no room for me in the car along with all the equipment....now...almost half an hour later...now i've asked him to say hi to his mates for me coz they think im going he's asking me if i could get a lift there....but do i want to?? its not like im gonna be with him is it??? I'll go to see his mates because theyre lovely.. Tomorrow night - he wants to stay at mine after he does a gig near where i live...which means again i'll be watching him but i wont be with him...then he'll get drunk and then he wont be on the planet nevermind with me. Right now - i've just tried to make some arrangements with him over msn...he thought i was picking an argument and just started having a go at me out of the blue really nastily...so now we arent speaking online...well he hasnt replied... The thing is, i feel im the one doing all the attention giving in the relationship....which i dont mind usually....but i've been feeling pretty depressed recently and my self esteem has dropped even lower than it was before if thats possible and i've gained a stone in weight...which is making me feel even more repulsive than before. I feel neglected...and i dont get happy when im going to see him anymore...and when anyone asks how the relationships going i find it hard to smile and say 'its good'. How do i change all this without ending the relationship?
Becoming Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 Get your own life. Notice how all you do revolves around him and what he's doing? And you have to be prepared to walk when he doesn't give you what he needs. Maybe not completely out of the relationship, but away for awhile. You're trying to make this relationship fill up whatever you're hungry for inside. Figure out what that hunger is and be responsible for feeding it yourself instead of expecting him to.
barfool Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 Agree with Becoming. You need to be less dependent on him for your happiness. If you are strong and your own woman then you will be happy without him as well. And if you do reach this happiness then he will notice and want to hang out with you even more.
Author NightsInWhiteSatin Posted February 9, 2006 Author Posted February 9, 2006 I'm trying to sort out a life of my own, its hard...my friends have huge commitments to babies and their fiancee's so i dont see them much and i find it hard to make new friends and im not in college enough to form proper friendships with anyone...but once college has finished im going to get a full time job which will hopefully allow me to make some new friends aswell...and give me a social life....and to be honest i think he'd miss me not being there at a moments notice and he'll stop taking me for granted and make the effort to spend proper quality time with me instead of leaving me sat to watch him work all the time and never arrange times where we just see eachother without work. thankyou for your replies, they've really helped
habeebah Posted February 9, 2006 Posted February 9, 2006 it's true. once you start getting your own schedule and become busy again, it will make you feel better from the inside, out. once you feel better on the inside, you'll appear better on the outside even if you're still the same. and then he'll realize what he's missing out on. but it starts with your perogative to enhance your inside.
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