Butterflying Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 Do you think everyone has a soulmate? How many true loves can you have in your lifetime? Who is your true love? Where are they now? Are you still involved with them? What happened with the relationship? Do you belive in true love, or is it just a fantasy?
jen4 Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 I hope to find mine one day. I do believe everyone has a soul mate out there. The process of finding him has been rough. Jen
amerikajin Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 I believe everyone has a 'soul mate', and in fact, I believe that as we go through life we find it possible to have more than one. My one and only soul mate to date is long gone and out of the picture...I think we were mates but we had issues that we were not mature enough to deal with at the time. Sometimes we don't marry our soul mate, and we have to live with that. We can learn to love the one we're with anyway, I think, as long as the fundamentals are there...basic attraction, communication, and so forth.
Milo Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 You all need to get over this "soul mate" nonsense. There are literally hundreds of thousands of people in the world you could potentially be very happy with who speak your language, like your body type, are as educated, successful, and witty as you are and also like to collect Star Wars figurines just like you do. You just need to meet them. But you might end up with the gap-toothed girl who talks dirty to you on the phone for a time. Nothing is perfect.
jen4 Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 about your situation but for a lot of us pickins are slim. It sucks being single sometimes. I am about to try the online dating thing,seems like my only option at the moment. I don't want to settle. Jen
Curmudgeon Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 I can only speak from personal experience. I have to believe in soulmates and true love because that's who I'm married to and how we both feel about one another. It took me 45 years to find her and another five years before I realized who and what I'd found. During those five years of friendship there were many signs and portents that we were made for one another, were destined to be with one another and there have been more since we finally got together. My wife and I just celebrated our ninth anniversary a few months ago and are still going strong. We've both been married before, me for 25 years and she for seven and neither marriage could even begin to compare with what we've found in and with one another.
Citizen Erased Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 I do believe in soulmates but I also dont believe in spending my whole life searching for 'the one' person who completes me or whatever... I love my boyfriend wholeheartedly and I have never been so happy, but I have felt that way with others. This one is a keeper though and he ain't going nowhere! The idea of it is great, but unfortunately life is not a Harlequin novel and I have accepted that. There are many ups and downs in every relationship and I find that far more exciting then one person who is exactly like me. I dont need to be pursued, in his own way, just being alone with my boyfriend can be all the romance I need sometimes... but dinner and flowers I will not deny either
Citizen Erased Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 Love is a lie. Honey don't be upset, there are plenty of people out there who would be great for you... hey, if I was more inclined to the same sex id pick you first definetely
Curmudgeon Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 People lie about love all the time, but true love doesn't lie. The right person just hasn't entered your life yet, nor you theirs. I found that it happened best when neither of us were looking for it.
Curmudgeon Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 Like I told Jen Jen, love seems to happen along best when no one is looking for it. At least, that was my wife's and my experience. We don't copmplete one another because we were both whole to begin with. But we do enhance one another and each others' life. Ups and downs, yes. That what makes life interesting and marriage/relationship a constant and vibrant challenge.
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 Honey don't be upset, there are plenty of people out there who would be great for you... hey, if I was more inclined to the same sex id pick you first definetely Awww. Thanks.
HokeyReligions Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 I think people can have more than one soulmate. I thought I found one once and even agreed to marry him. But it didn't work out. Then I found another soulmate even better than the first and I did marry him - around 25 +/- years ago. I guess I realized he really was my soulmate around our 15th wedding anniversary when we looked back at all the krap we'd been through--including breakups.
whichwayisup Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 Do you think everyone has a soulmate? How many true loves can you have in your lifetime? You can have as many true loves in your life as your heart allows and you want. I like to remember my past love's as just that. Each love is different. It may be more intense with one than another, but with that other, everything else is more balanced and sane. I believe soulmates don't have end up as lovers. Some are just meant to be in your life. Whether it be a man or a woman, they serve a purpose in your life, enhance it and bring the best out of you and make an impact in your life too. There is potiental in just about anyone to fall inlove - When I first met my husband - He and I didn't even notice eachother (we worked in the same building) and I honestly never once thought of him in a sexual or emotional way. Then about a year later, we just clicked and it built up from there. So, was he my soulmate? A soulmate that I hadn't noticed yet, maybe the timing all of a sudden clicked in? I don't know. But I do feel very lucky that we're together. We fit.
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 "Soul mate" is a silly word. There isn't one perfect person for everybody. It makes no biological or natural sense. But of course, I beleive true love exists. As opposed to fake love.
amerikajin Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 I think what we perceive as a soul mate also has a lot to do with the timing and one's own experiences. Who's to say that someone who isn't a soul mate now might not be a soul mate five years forward? A lot of it depends on fortunes, chance encounters, and whether two people are willing to lay it on the line for each other.
GuerreroAzteca Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 A "soul mate" is not someone who is out there destined to cross paths with you and you can live happily ever after with. Soulmates are not born they are made. They are made in a sense that when you start a relationship with somebody and that somebody cares and loves you enough and you work through your relationship and grow together then you become soul mates. Therefore, anybody who has things in common with you and is mutually attracted to you can, in essence be your soulmate.
amerikajin Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 I agree totally, guerrero. It's basically not unlike any other type of friendship...except that you're having sex.
kitkat826 Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 I think there is no such thing as an absolutely, purely "true" love, though love in general call fall on a continuum. Some relationships, or "loves" are "truer" than others. I've had one that I can label as verified "true"...and hope to have at least one more. The first one was a case of bad timing and changing personalities.
JayKay Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 The trouble with a concept like 'soulmate' is that people expect true love to be utter bliss, without conflict or disappointment. That simply doesn't happen. I think your 'soulmate' is someone who enriches your life. However the 'soulmate' is not there to fill a void or provide you with purpose in life. They will be human, with flaws. Sometimes you will fight, disagree, have periods of conflict, struggle with communication or simply not 'get' each other with regards to certain things. People give up on relationships so easily nowadays. It's easy to say blithely, "Well, he/she just wasn't my soulmate" That's why I tread cautiously around that word. I don't believe one's soul is this broken thing searching for its other 'half'. I think a healthy person is one who doesn't feel empty but rather, has the capacity to share a full and meaningful life with another person who shares similar values and philosophies.... And I believe we have the capacity to fall in love again, and again and again.
Devildog Posted February 8, 2006 Posted February 8, 2006 People give up on relationships so easily nowadays. It's easy to say blithely, "Well, he/she just wasn't my soulmate" Can't say I agree with this JayKay. My personal opinion is that most bad relationships and marriages occur because people try too hard. That they feel obligated to stick with a relationship no matter what. They get labeled as fearing commitment or some other crap because they are willing to say "this isn't what I want". Unless the other person has commited some grievious wrongdoing, you are not justified in breaking up with them. Sure, you are a jerk or a bitch if you cheat on someone because you are unhappy. But if you leave a relationship solely because this isn't the right person for you, it is honest. My trainwreck of a marriage was a textbook example of this. I didn't stay in the relationship and get married because my XW was everything I wanted in a relationship. I continued in the relationship because she hadn't done anything that was worthy of dumping her for. And if I had broken up with her solely because I wasn't totally happy with the relationship, I would be labeled a jerk or some other less than complimentary term. Anyway, back to the original topic. Soulmates, yes, I believe in them. Yes, I believe I met mine, but the timing was wrong. And basically the timing was wrong because of my above reasoning. Not everyone gets a "happily ever after."
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